Motherhood in the corner office

Last week, women leaders came out in defence of Nakuru Governor Susan Kihika; a response to the sustained social media uproar over her maternity leave. 

While the political undertones were rife, it brought to the fore the great divide between men and women with regard to equity in the workspace. It was so clear just how far we are from walking the talk in gender equity at the office, especially for women who have risen to the higher ranks. 

For many years, the assumption is that women will only make it the corner office when they are in perimenopause. For this reason, they will only be dealing with hot flushes, not pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. This false and harmful narrative needs to end. 

The reason technology keeps advancing is to make nature yield to man; not the other way around. Planes defy gravity to fly; man lands in space and uses it to commandeer what happens on earth; and internet turns the whole world into a small global village. In medicine, new treatments help defy cancer, organ and tissue transplants defy death and assisted reproductive technologies defy menopause. 

Women, especially the current generation of millennials and late Gen-Xers, are the lot that was raised by mothers who went for the Fourth World Conference on Women in Beijing, back in 1995. These mothers drilled into their daughters the importance of prioritising education as a stepping stone toward financial independence. These are your current crop of C-suite managers, directors and yes, political elite! They were busy earning degrees and climbing the corporate ladder. Child-bearing was not their priority. 

Pregnancy heat

Today, they have self-actualised and will have their cake and surely eat it. They will have children in their own time, not whatever society thinks is the appropriate time. Their corner office will have air conditioning to cool off the excess pregnancy heat, not hot flashes; and the little refrigerator in the corner will have breast milk instead of sparkling water and fresh juice. 

This was Georgina’s* reality three years ago. She had gotten married in her late 20s and they tried to have children to no avail. Georgina visited doctors all over town, who told her she had no problem conceiving. After three years of persuasion, her husband finally agreed to go to the doctor and was found to have a low sperm count. The doctor suggested in-vitro fertilization (IVF) as a way forward but her husband wasn’t ready. He was still coming to terms that he was the one in need of help; a fact that didn’t sit too well with him. 

But Georgina was determined and not one to give up. She eventually dragged him off to fertility centre out of the country and they started the IVF treatments. As fate would have it, they were not so lucky on the first four tries, and they lost hope. As a way to get her mind off things, Georgina went off to pursue her PhD, while her husband took on a new assignment away from home. 

Living apart took its toll on the couple and it eventually led to separation and divorce. Georgina came back with her new accolades and threw herself into a new job that saw her rise rapidly to directorship. She was finally remarrying at 42. She held no illusions about motherhood and she was happy to raise her step-daughter. 

Well, at 45, she walked into my office with her new husband and asked about her options. After thorough counselling and a bunch of tests, Georgina and her husband were happy to learn that they could conceive with minimal interventions, but not without conversations on the heightened risk of complications due to age. 

Georgina delivered a healthy baby boy at the age of 47. Her pregnancy was fairly calm, save for mild rise in her blood pressure towards term. She delivered via caesarian section at 38 weeks and was discharged home in four days. Her heart was full. She finally felt settled. In her bucket list, she had checked every box that she regarded as important to her. The first day her babyo called her, “momma,” she called me crying tears of joy. At 50, she is a picture of contentment. 

It is time for society to adjust its lenses. Women will have children when they want; including in advanced ages. The fertility industry can only thrive. The judgements, negative perceptions, bullying and intimidation need to end. This is testament of lack of respect for the rights of women and mothers across the country. 

This means that the senior director in the office next to you will take a break to go and breastfeed her baby. She will be off for maternity leave for months, and it is her constitutional right to do so. It means that our Parliament offices will need a functional breastfeeding suite and that nannies at the workplace will be a common feature. It means that our Cabinet Secretary will travel out of the country on official duties with a nanny and a baby alongside her personal assistant; because the baby is still breastfeeding; and it should be a normal occurrence. 

It is fairly hypocritical of us to judge a woman leader for going away to seek maternity care; yet our ministers and male governors have spent months in the intensive care unit and in cancer centers across the world seeking treatment; with not a single negative word mentioned of them, even when their deputies took over their tasks with little or no fuss. 

Let us keep our concerns valid. The citizens have a right to question their elected leader about their role; they must complain if they have no access to tax-payer services; they must speak up about incompetence and runaway corruption; and they must hold their elected leaders to account with regard to their responsibilities. 

However, attacking a person’s right to motherhood is a new low. Until we have actual artificial wombs that can take over certain reproductive functions, let us realise that we owe it to women of all walks of life, to assure the next generation. Motherhood is not a preserve of young women who are junior employees only.  Women happen to be in the reproductive phase of their lives for an average of 40 years right now. That is a long period within which they can invoke their biological right to get pregnant and have a child. All rights matter, not just SOME rights!

Dr Bosire is a gynaecologist/obstetrician