Gabriel’s story: I became a psychologist to heal my childhood trauma, and help others heal too

Sporting dreadlocks and a youthful look, you would mistake Gabriel Maina, 27, for a guitar straddling musician other than a counselling psychologist. “While studying, my lecturers reminded me that dreadlocks for a psychologist do not look professional. This stressed me quite a bit, but today, they are one of my greatest assets in bridging the gap with the youth.” He has long learned to live with the suspicious looks he gets especially from the older generation and from people who hold prejudices about anyone who wears locks.

“It is only by opening my mouth during a group counselling session or a presentation about vertical gardening that people forget the locks and pay closer attention.” Gabriel laughs.

His story runs deep. It starts in the streets, where he spent more than seven years as a street urchin, experienced mob justice and, in his words, is alive because of a ‘higher grace.’

His parents divorced when he was only eight. As the eldest child, he witnessed domestic violence, substance abuse and a range of family dysfunctionality, which saw him escape to the streets for solace. “The more violent my father became, the more my mother turned to alcohol, leaving us neglected and exposed.” She took them to their grandmother, who struggled to feed them. Gabriel would go to the local town to scavenge for food and take back what he could to feed his younger siblings. The violence escalated when his father lost his job and could not find another one.

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Considering that they lived an average, middle class lifestyle, turning to the streets was a huge shift for Gabriel who not only stopped going to school but had to brace the harsh life of a beggarly life. His mother later remarried, but Gabriel’s stepfather was harsh and often abusive. “Being with any of my parents was not an option. I felt unsafe and stressed all the time.”

The scavenger lifestyle became his norm for the next seven years. He moved from the small town in Kahawa West, then to Githurai and finally discovered the central business district of Nairobi city, where opportunities were easier to come across, including petty crime and substance use.

“Other than burying my friends who were victims of either police brutality or mob justice, the saddest part of being a street child is how everyone views you as a lesser being.”

This was often demonstrated by the City Council Askari who would be asked to keep the city clean. “They would collect the street children and the garbage and dump us in Mahi Mahiu.” Being considered as one of the dirty elements of the city, in the same class as garbage was beyond cruel. “In turn, it made us angry and hardened and like the saying, a hurting person hurts others, we harassed the people in the city.” Gabriel and his friends conjured the cruellest ways to get people to part with money. “We carried human faeces and threatened to smear anyone who would not cough up the money that we demanded.”

Many times, he attempted to go back home to his father, who had also by then remarried. But he remained violent, which meant that they exchanged bitter words with Gabriel who was by now a big boy hardened by the street life. “The streets were a better home for me, but I also learned to solve any conflicts through violence. It is the only language known in the streets.”

From a psychologist’s seat, Gabriel now understands that his childhood experiences during his formative years shaped him, and therefore, he has to intentionally unlearn and learn different ways of resolving disputes. “Sometimes I am concerned about getting married because I fear, what if I turn violent?”

After seven years in the streets, one day, someone told him that there were some people feeding street families. He followed his friend and sure to his word, he met a group of Italians who not only fed the street families - for free - but were also interested in their stories. “No one had ever been interested in us before.” Gabriel says.

“They treated as like fellow human beings. They asked us about our lives.” Gabriel says that this was the first time in his memory that someone treated him with dignity. “It felt wonderful. I felt valued, like a human.” The organisation extended their feeding program into other engaging activities with the street children, such as card games.

One of the questions that the organisation asked the children was whether they would consider going back to school. Gabriel was not keen, since he had left school early and was already too old to join upper primary school. But he was always engaged in the feeding and the activities with the Italian organisation. This would come in handy one day when, as usual, he went about stealing some metallic items and was caught. He was beaten by a mob and would have lost his life that day if one of the staff from the feeding program had not recognised him. They rescued him and sheltered him.

“I had severe wounds and deep trauma. They told me that the streets were no longer an option for me.” Gabriel took the option that they offered. “Stay in the shelter and as soon as you are well enough, you must join school.” That was the only requirement if he wished to continue being hosted at the rescue shelter. Joining a school seemed a better option than being burned alive through the mob justice system of the streets.

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He was a problem child, attending five different primary schools, sneaking to the streets, but finally completed primary education.

Shalom Call Africa, the organisation that had rescued him did not give up on him. He joined high school – nine different ones - before sitting his Kenya Certificate of Secondary School (KCSE). At the final examinations, Gabriel achieved excellent grades. “I was stunned and terrified. I had not expected to perform well, no one had expected me to.” Gabriel says and continues, “This became a turning point, knowing that I had qualified to join a university.”

His attitude towards school and life changed. He was desperate to join college. He realised that he could transform his life, and this spurred him on. “I went and told my grandmother, who rejoiced with me, but like me, worried about the costs of joining a university.”

His grandmother was determined to get him to college, knowing that if he lost this chance, he would most likely end up back in the streets. She got a loan of Sh30,000 from her chama and handed him the cash. “I promised her that I would pay back every coin.” Gabriel, who before had never stepped foot in a university and never dreamed that he could ever be a graduate entered the gates of Technical University of Kenya.

“It felt surreal. I was at first not sure what course to study, so I took the course prospectus and studied it as if I was preparing for an exam.”

He came across the psychology course. It spoke to him. “It was everything I was looking for. It would be for my healing, and I chose that course and pursued it with a hunger and dedication that surprised me. I did it for me.”

Psychology to Gabriel was a healing experience. “Every topic spoke directly to me”. He understood his childhood traumas and how that would affect his adult behaviour. “Every word from my lecturers was personal to me.” He was so dedicated to the psychology course that his lecturers went out of their way to further share reading resources with him. Gabriel excelled and graduated at the end of 2019 and months later, Covid -19 hit the world. He had not found a job and found himself in his hood, where he witnessed boys, who like him were forced into the streets. “We were still burying boys, children, who were not sick but were victims of crime caused by poverty and their dysfunctional families.”

These deaths took him back to his childhood. He counted about 15 of his closest neighbourhood friends who had lost their lives. Even though he was jobless, he thought hard about what he could do to apply his degree in counselling psychology and help the families off the streets. “I offered counselling sessions for free, but soon realised that this was not enough. They needed to survive. They needed employment to stay off the streets and stand a chance at life without violence or crime.”

Gabriel shared his concerns with Africa Rafiki, an Italian organisation which had earlier supported him. “I was keen to know about self-employment options in Kenya for those without a university degree or other education.” Amongst the many options they shared, the idea of Vertical Gardening, which would ensure food security and extra for commercial purposes piqued his interest. They introduced him and paid for his four-month training on the same.

“The Three Thousand Friends Farm hosted me in Rongai and trained me on organic farming in an urban set up, which explains what vertical gardening is about.” Gabriel saw the huge opportunity that organic vertical gardening offered. For four months, he studied the science behind organic farming, food safety and security and the self-employment opportunities it offered to not just the street families but other jobless youth.

He came back home and started a demo farm by the roadside. The curiosity it elicited was encouraging. He scheduled public training sessions, advertising them within his neighbourhood. He was surprised when even old men, women and youth showed up, stayed on and came back for more group training sessions. He combined organic farming training with group counselling. When he started getting individuals reaching out for counselling sessions, he was so inspired that he mentored some promising youth to work with him and recently formed a Community Based Organization (CBO), called Oasis of Little Friends.

Through the CBO, he hopes to get support to scale the vertical gardening and group counselling, to realise his dream of getting as many families off the streets and away from crime.

“Finances is a big challenge. When you invite people for a training session and they stay for three or more hours, it is disheartening not to be able to offer even a basic meal.” Gabriel says that many of them live hand to mouth and some end up not attending the complete training sessions, since they must leave to go hunt for a daily income.

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In spite of these challenges, Gabriel has already graduated fifty young boys who now work with the CBO to set up vertical gardens in people’s homes. He says that boys are more likely to end up in the streets than girls, because they have limited employment opportunities. There are also no social support structures for boys, unlike girls who get domestic employment through agencies. He adds that many Nairobi residents may not be aware of how the vegetables they cook for their families may pause a serious health hazard to them.

“Many of these are grown by the sewer lines and others are sprayed with harmful pesticides and all find their way into your plate. We transform balconies, walls, and every possible space into a garden for healthy organic vegetables.”

Having experienced life as a street boy, Gabriel asserts that the ‘chokora’ we dismiss in our streets are children who need a safe space to transform. “Do not just dismiss or despise the street urchin, however dirty or scary they look. They just need a human ear to feel human, just like I did.”

From a psychologist’s view, Gabriel wishes that the government would create shelters and counselling facilities for children, as well as mandate parents to undergo counselling to break the cycles of violence and trauma in families. “It needs a big scale intervention and only the government has that kind of muscles to curb the menace of domestic violence and abuse in families.”

He is also convinced that if equipped with knowledge such as on vertical gardening, many of the street families would feed themselves and get off the streets. “They can earn their own living.” In his training program, he has noticed a high turn up of single mothers. “I realise there were many single mothers who escaped from domestic violence. I train them so that their children can have a chance at school and keep off the streets.”

Gabriel has approached a few corporate organisations to support the CBO in setting up a workshop to accommodate more training.

“I would wish to offer a stipend to the participants during the duration of the training so that they do not have to leave training and go look for a casual job for their dinner on that day.”

He also believes that with additional support, he can get many people engaging them to set up the vertical gardening in their homes and hence sustain the project. Kyut Enterprises, a small Kenyan company that installs CCTV has on numerous occasions offered financial support to run some of the classes. His friends from Africa Rafiki work with Gabriel to support a feeding program in a school in Samburu. Gabriel plans to train on vertical gardening in these communities who live in arid areas and water is a scarcity. “Vertical gardening uses little water and requires a small space, even a pipe can grow vegetables to last a dry season.”

Gabriel also works with Shalom Call Africa as a counsellor, which affords him an income to facilitate the trainings and group counselling sessions.

Gabriel concludes by demystifying counselling, which he has noticed is an unknown field in our society, yet families are breaking down at an alarming rate.

“Many people seek other people for help when distressed. But these people can make it worse, either by breaking confidentiality or simply not knowing how best to support.” Gabriel continues, “Kenyans need to seek professionals for counselling. Counselling transforms families as it goes back to the root of the problem, unearths it, and equips you to solve or deal with the problem. It also breaks the cycles of trauma, and we get healthier families and individuals who play a part in nation building.”

He concludes with a challenge to Kenyans. “Streets teach an innocent child to be a crook. We reflect what we get from the streets. The next time a street child approaches you, ask them, ‘How can I help you?”.

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