I am in a relationship that has lasted for nearly two years. So the problem is, the woman I am dating doesn't want to listen to me. I keep telling her not to flirt with men but she won’t stop. Whenever I go to work and leave her at home, she spends the day chatting with different guys on the phone. What should I do?
You cannot have your cake and eat it. You cannot enjoy sex during dating and still date in the right way. That's not how life works.
Dating is essentially an interview. In the same way, you'd be hiring a CEO for your company, you're hiring the CEO for your personal emotional life. The purpose of any interview is to test character and capacity. That is someone's moral orientation and skills.
Marriage brings a promise of sex, and this confuses many men to start sex during the search for a marriage partner. They even mix it in as a part of the interview. What they forget is that once you've seen a person's nakedness, you can never think objectively about them again.
Someone made men think that when they sleep with a woman, they're on top of the game. He feels like he's on top figuratively and literally.
This deceptive memo reached the gentlemen as well, and they, too, believed it. Gentlemen are different from other men in that they're high-value as husbands and family men. They come prepared to lead and to provide. They care deeply, and this is what sets them apart.
While the average man is a taker and pleasure-driven, gentlemen are givers and purpose-driven. They keep their promises because of their moral code. The other men lie and cheat whenever their selfish interests call for it.
You should know that a day will come when the future of your marriage will depend on the character of the woman you married.
If you understand this, you'll see how character is critical in dating.
Men used to think that women could be controlled and managed. Perhaps this was possible back in the day when women were confined to homesteads and had little contact with the outside world. Today, women are out there just like men, and they can talk to whoever they want from anywhere in the world.
It's no longer about fencing her in. The only option a man has today is to choose a trustworthy woman. One whose morals and ethics can't allow her to be disloyal even when approached by richer and more powerful men.
Capacity refers to a woman's ability to perform as a wife. Can she fit the job description you are interviewing against?
Unfortunately, so many men clumsily conduct searches for a wife. They get into emotional entanglements and mistake them for the evaluation process.
High-value men are conscious. They don't do things just because they're popular. They think about their goal in marriage and the life they want to create. They prepare themselves to be husbands and leaders, and then they seek a woman who has prepared herself to be a wife and a deputy on that level.
In short, the law of sowing and reaping is the most important in dating. You must decide what you want from life. Then, put in the work to become that.
Finally, search for a partner who matches that life. This search must be as rational and sober as possible since your life is at stake. You can't afford to cross sexual boundaries with interviewees. You can't risk getting attached to anyone prematurely.
In light of this process, exit that cohabitating situation immediately. Stop engaging in premarital sex. Write down your vision for a family. What kind of family do you want? What lifestyle do you want? What economic standard do you want in your home?
Next, what type of man must you become to establish and lead that kind of family?
What kind of financial muscle must you have? What kind of leader and dependable man must you become? What role model and mentor to your children must you become?
Set out to become those things by yourself. No women and no distractions. Take a year or two to put those foundations through learning and growing personally.
