Out of the mouths of babes

The innocence in children is amazing. It is the reason a testimony from a child before a court of law is potent enough to free or send you behind bars.

That should also tell you that the same innocence is what often leads them to divulge details of what happens in the household. The problem is that even if you warned yours not to share anything, they have no sense of where to draw the line between necessary and unnecessary information.

I learnt this the hard way when I took my son to the village to visit his grandmother. He enjoyed the tranquillity, vast playing space, and laid-back life. But then there was an embarrassing moment when it got to dinner time and grandma served him pumpkin leaves, a local vegetable we call seveve.

"I don't eat grass," he started.

“This is not grass. It is very delicious,” I quipped, showing him just how much I was enjoying the ‘grass.’

He just stared in shock as the rest of us devoured the meal, choosing to eat the ugali dry. After that evening, we came back to Nairobi and put the story behind us, at least I thought so. I was wrong.

My church had an event and I offered to host some of the guests at my house. The social butterfly he is, my son quickly made himself comfortable among the guests and kept them busy with stories about his computer games, virtual learning, and ‘Storytime with Milan,’ a series of YouTube videos he has recorded.

Then I set the table for lunch.

“My Guku (grandma) serves her visitors grass. Eeew!” he started. “I hope dad doesn’t give you the same.”

Thankfully, the guests I was hosting are Luhya, so I explained that what he was referring to as grass was seveve. They understood.

After that incident, I sat and imagined just how embarrassing it would have been if whatever he said was something worse.

It also hit me that if he could be that porous with people he had just befriended the same day, there must be much more he shares with his teachers whom he is very tight with.

And that is what makes the article today important, especially for parents, as the young ones go back to school after a year of being in the house.

Robust tape recorder

You have officially released a robust tape recorder to the world, so tread carefully with your words and actions.

Some children are generally secretive and have to be coerced to divulge information, but a good number are parrots especially with peers and teachers.

The undoing is that since they will be in school for the better part of the year, you will never get a chance to know what he or she has been telling the others. And even if you happen to, there will be no forum for you to explain that grass is seveve.

That, fellow parents, is a sticky situation. 

What the family does or says at home is content for their compositions when the assignment is about 'My Family.' The perennial fights, romantic rendezvous and uncontrolled utterances will most probably feature somewhere in the story.

He or she will write how dad pesters mom in the night until she screams while telling God she is coming home. Or that mommy always says their pastor’s beards remind her of a notorious goat back in Kanyamkago.

Apart from them being sponges, most children are reflections of their households. Children raised in happy environments tend to be outgoing and ooze positivity as compared to those who are constantly exposed to chaos and domestic violence. And such psychological alignments at that tender age can last a lifetime.

That leaves us with the responsibility of taming every word and action we display before our young ones. Whereas it cushions you from the embarrassment of having your dirty linen being laid out in the public, it builds the children’s esteem.

As you do that, pray that your child gets a teacher who will not prod for intimate details about their household. And if he or she volunteers it, the teacher should be wise enough to listen without judging and inform you where there seems to be a problem.

It is the reason good schools have counselling departments even for preschoolers.

Hillary has raised his son on his own from the time he was six months. [email protected]