Miserable married man. Or, let's call him Triple M. This is a brother who appears to be married on the surface, but, when you dig deeper, you will find that he is anything but. Below are just a few signs of a Triple M.
When a married man is forced under duress to state the obvious, he is Triple M.
Does this 2009 presidential statement ring a bell? “I want to make it very clear that I have only one dear wife, Lucy, who is here, and I do not have any other.” No one knows how to keep up appearances like Triple M. He has crammed all the lovey-dovey lines and can spit them in his sleep. Although he abhors matching his-and-hers kitenge outfits, he will rock the gaudy ensemble and, throughout the event, smile like a Cheshire cat. Inside, though, he is roaring like the enraged and fatally wounded lion that he is.
Women are adept at faking orgasms, which lasts only several seconds. That pales in comparison to Triple M’s skills. This Oscar-worthy actor can fake an entire orgasmic existence, 24/7, for decades. Nonstop.
This usually happens when Triple M is at home or when his wife is in the vicinity. He is over-cautious. He carefully weighs his words before he opens his mouth. Triple M is not just doing this for his wife, but more importantly, for his peace of mind. He is pleasing his spouse in exchange for snippets of quiet time.
When they are in public, Triple M takes cues from his wife on how to act. A good example of this was witnessed in the slap that was heard around the world. Initially, Will Smith laughed at Chris Rock's joke. But when he saw the look of disapproval on Jada's face, his countenance changed.
Triple M may have never had depression, but, because of the emotional upheavals he is dealing with, he has developed mental health issues.
He may not know it, though. He thinks it's the usual stress. Until the emotional upheavals become too much and he starts having suicidal thoughts.
Triple M is quietly planning his exit. Nay, escape. But he's keeping all his cards close to his chest. He is waiting until things are just right, or all the stars are aligned, or their children complete school for him to up and leave.
Inwardly, he upped and left eons ago. That's just his shell that's going through the motions.
While he is biding his time, Triple M is inwardly regretting his decision: “Why on earth did I not listen to my inner voice that kept warning me about this woman?” “Why …?” “I wish I knew.”
Even when his back is shoved against the wall, Triple M will not raise a finger. And that's because he is already dead. What you're flogging is a dead horse.
Triple M is taking abuse on the chin because he already left the relationship and shut the door, for good, behind him. What the abuse is doing is adding more bolts to the door.
Triple M's workmates think he's a workaholic. He is always the first to arrive in the office and the last to leave. And when he is hanging out with his friends, he is not thrilled to return home.
A man's home, they say, is his castle. But Triple M's castle has become his cage. As Maya Angelou says in the poem, Caged Bird: “A caged bird stands on the grave of dreams/his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream/his wings are clipped and his feet are tied.”
