Rarely do we hear of husbands being advised to fight for their marriages.
There are unwritten rules that encourage women to fight for and not to fight back.
“You need to fight for your marriage!” is advise often dished to couples - to wives really, whose husbands are philanderers – whose marriages are on the rocks. The already heartbroken woman is advised to up her game in the bedroom, which is a subtle way of blaming infidelity on her. She is told to fight for the marriage with everything she has got, including her life, as we have consistently and regretfully witnessed, with tragedy after tragedy of gender-based cruelty.
First, let me clarify something. I do not believe in fighting for a marriage. To fight connotes something adversarial. It means that there are two enemies in a combat situation, which is usually the case. A husband gone rogue is a dangerous man. He will be the opposite of what he vowed to be. He will be the protector turned attacker, the provider turned bearer of adversity, the lover turned abuser, the husband turned adulterer.
