If you had told me that Fiolina would stay at her parents’ place longer than two weeks, I would have laughed at you. I know that place, I know her parents well and I know the environment; I was very sure that she would not be long. Life is hard there, (good) food is rare, with a very unreasonable father - especially after he drinks.
The last time she left me, she was back in a matter of days, especially after her father told her that she had become a burden to them.
But here we are! Three weeks later, I am still alone with the kids, trying my best to give them a good life and a fantastic experience, so much such that we are now getting used to life without Fiolina. That, however, has not stopped the efforts to reconcile us.
If you remember, last week, a bipartisan negotiations team to hammer out a Fiolina Return to Home Formula had been set up. The only challenge was that while our side submitted a team of eminent persons selected out of good faith, Fiolina’s side had been cheeky with their nominations. How would you have Kuya in the list of negotiators?”
“He is not her relative, he is not her friend, he is not her colleague, how did Fiolina choose him?” I asked Tocla when I called him to tell him that we were rejecting their list of negotiators.
“We are very genuine and practical,” he said. “We appointed people based on merit, it doesn’t matter whether they are not relatives or friends.” He went on to say that Kuya had been appointed for his renowned experience in bringing people together.” I asked him whom Kuya had brought together, and as expected, he had no answer.
Still, we refused to have him as part of the negotiation. Seeing this, they now wanted Saphire and Rumona out. I held that Rumona was my sister-in-law while Saphire was my village mate and colleague at school – I could not drop him.
After long talks, Fiolina’s side agreed to drop Kuya, but who they replaced him with will surprise you. They went for Maskwembe, my sister Caro’s husband. If you do not know Maskwembe, you do not know anything about my family. If you remember, earlier in the year, he chased his wife Caro who came home, and we set up a plan that we knew would deal with Maskwembe once and for all. We were going to fleece him.
The fellow took us round and round and eventually, Caro went back to him on the free. As such, we have not been on talking terms with him, nor have I talked to Caro, after she claimed that I was trying to sell her like a bag of potatoes.
“My son in law Maskwembe will do a good job,” said my father when he heard of my protests. “He took back Caro for free, he can help Fiolina come back without us parting with anything!
To let talks begin, I agreed to allow Maskwembe to join the other team.
It was agreed that they would meet last week on Wednesday and start discussions, but there was the small matter of the venue. Since none of us agreed to talks being held in the others’ home, we settled on Kasuku Hotel in Mwisho wa Lami.
I went there and booked a room from 2.30 pm to around 6pm. Although we had not discussed who would pay, I had chosen a very good time, just after lunch and before dinner so as to incur minimum costs.
Fiolina and I would not attend but we needed to be on standby to answer any question. I had given Nyayo all my grievances against Fiolina. He called me twice.
“We are getting somewhere,” he said when he called at around 5pm. “You will see some white smoke soon, they have started listening to us,” he said, referring to Fiolina’s people.
“They are asking for more bride price,” Nyayo informed me when he called at around 6pm.
“Did Fiolina run away because of the bride price?” I asked him, he agreed with me but added that Fiolina’s side was adamant.
“But we have taken a break as they set up dinner. I am sure they will soften after eating,” Nyayo said and hung up.
“You don’t have to come though; just send money to clear the bills seeing we need two other sessions.” I knew it would be a simple bill of soda and a few cups of tea but was shocked when he sent me the bill of Sh8,658.
“We have been here since 2pm, you expected us to speak on an empty stomach? It's now going to 10pm, you think after supper people would just talk over nothing? Come on Dre!”
“You people need to pay as you are the ones who ate, did you see me there?” I asked.
“Dre, we were here working for you, how can we pay?”
“Ok then, we must split the bill into two. My side pays half, Fiolina’s side pays the other half.” He told me that it was difficult, but he would try.” I sent him half the money then switched off my phone.
When I switched on the phone two hours later, I found a million messages and many attempted calls. Apparently, Fiolina’s side had refused to pay, and all negotiators had to contribute to pay the difference.
“That is the kind of man I live with,” Fiolina has told them on Tocla’s phone loudspeaker. She had also written me lots of messages, saying she saw no need to continue with reconciliation as I had not changed an inch.
Maskwembe and Tocla had also written messages, saying they could not believe they had paid some money on my behalf, yet it was I who needed my wife to return. The rest of the negotiators said they would only resume if and after I refund them what they had spent that evening.
I will not pay; I did not eat or drink anything. I insist that Fiolina’s side must bear 50 percent. Otherwise, let things remain the way they are. Kwani iko nini?
