We all have problems that we worry about. And we all overthink things from time to time. But what if your worries have become so overpowering and unstoppable that they are affecting your work or your home life?
Maybe you’re spending hours over-analysing a row with your boss, or endlessly wondering what went wrong, months after a breakup. Or scaring yourself silly about some distant future event.
Mulling over rows, break-ups or the future is normal, but if your thoughts are compulsive and distressing, then you’re ruminating, which is damaging and unproductive, especially since you can’t change the past, or the future.
Women tend to ruminate more than men. As do perfectionists and those prone to insecurity. Rumination is common alongside some health problems, such as after a heart attack. It’s also common in many mental health issues such as OCD, anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder. And can make these conditions worse.
If your rumination is still mild, then some simple techniques can help.
Unproductive thought patterns
Such as diverting your thoughts by distracting yourself. Listening to music and focusing intently on the melody or lyrics can interrupt your thoughts. Talking with a friend or exercising can also help.
Avoid triggers such as places and movies that bring up bad memories, or social media influencers that start you worrying about your health or appearance. Block anything that’s doing you more harm than good.
Setting aside five minutes of dedicated worry time periodically can help. You can also say to yourself that you’ll worry for just five more minutes and then not think about your worries again until a set time in the evening.
Immersing yourself in the moment can stop unproductive thought patterns. Actively observe everything that’s happening around you. What can you see, feel and hear? What’s the temperature in the room? Notice the smells in the air, whether good or bad!
You’ll need professional help if your rumination’s becoming more serious, and you seem to be doing little else. Because, for example, distracting yourself won’t get to the root of your problems, or help you figure out why you’re ruminating in the first place.
It’s important to establish whether you have any underlying mental health conditions because treating rumination and your mental health issues can go hand in hand.
Approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for conditions like OCD, anxiety and depression are all helpful in reducing rumination.
Spending time thinking through your problems doesn’t have to be a negative experience. For example, puzzling over your problems with a friend can bring you closer together, or perhaps your thoughts prompt you to leave a stressful job, or confront the issues in a bad relationship.
So, if your thoughts are improving your life, then that’s fine, but if they are causing you distress, anger or anxiety, or if your ruminating is stopping you from doing things that matter in your life, then it must be tackled.
