Today’s teens are far more anxious than in the past. Partly, that is because they spend so many hours online, leaving them little time for real-life friendships and adventurous physical activities. Both are critical to their mental well-being.
But it is not only the internet that limits them, because modern parents are more controlling and over-protective. We’re told we must constantly supervise our children to prevent mishaps and ensure everything’s perfect.
So we oversee their schoolwork, prevent them from roaming, restrict their friendships, shield them from failure, limit their choices and involve ourselves deeply in our children’s problems.
And children don’t acquire them if their parents never let them struggle with difficulties. Helping with every challenge means that your children don’t learn to manage their moods, make difficult decisions, or develop resilience.
Today’s competitive world encourages us to intensively parenting. Not only constantly monitoring our children, but always teaching them. Social media influencers pressure us into making our children look super-successful, and we worry that we might be neglectful if they are not flawless.
The key is thinking about the long-term goal. Which is to prepare your child for their path in life, rather than smoothing their path for them.
When your children face difficulties, your job is not to remove the obstacles, it is to help your children remove them. To help them learn to cope, instead of growing up expecting someone else to fix everything.
There’s a big difference between coaching your children and brushing aside every issue for them.
Stop solving your children's problems, instead, ask them what they think they should do. Let them try and fail until they succeed. And stop over-scheduling your children's lives. Let them play with their friends, without close adult supervision.
When your children spend time just hanging out with one another, they learn essential life skills including leadership, cooperation, problem-solving, flexibility and compassion, this way, when they leave home, they will make it without feeling anxious.
