Does it feel like nothing in your world ever seems to go right? You’re not being paranoid, the universe really does work like that. Bad things happen far more often than good things, so you have to work hard to even keep your head above water.
Like the way your stuff breaks, gets dirty, damaged or rusty. So that no sooner have you bought something than you have to start fixing it. Worst still are the moments that instantly change your life, like death in the family or losing your job.
Think how difficult it is to find a new friend, a job or a spouse. Or to rear your children or learn a new skill. And how easily things can go wrong. Which is why persistence and determination are such important parts of our personality.
It’s hard to grasp this concept. Especially these days with endless internet influencers insisting that life’s easy, if only we follow their example. So we’re never satisfied. Endlessly impressed by the lives of a few good looking celebrities, and forgetting our own achievements. Constantly trying to look younger while forgetting the benefits of age, such as better judgement and wisdom. Worst of all, if you only ever measure your success by comparing yourself to other people, your life is inevitably going to be just one long disappointment.
Because real satisfaction comes from inside you. It comes from doing something really worthwhile, and that never happens overnight. Like studying for a degree, or building a business. From steady self improvement such as getting rid of bad habits or growing your relationship. It’s here that we always want things to happen the fastest, but they never do. If you’ve ever tried to cut down on your drinking, or to eat a better diet, you’ll know just how hard it is.
Because habits like these are driven by chemicals in our brain’s reward system, and by cues that lead on to the next step in the behaviour. Like how arriving home from work starts you thinking about having a drink. I’m sure you’ve thought about developing some better habits, like going for a run every evening. But it’s amazing how it’s our bad habits that dominate our lives and even destroy them.
The same is true in your relationships. They are often ruined by habits that originated years before, maybe right back in your childhood. And they’re hard to fix even though you know you should.
So if you really want to change, you’ll have to be prepared to work hard. As hard as if you were learning a new language or musical instrument. You have to figure out why you behave the way you do, try out new approaches, and make them stick. And that takes time. So don’t give up too soon, because it’s the people who stick at the tough stuff who succeed in life. Not overnight, for sure, but definitely in the long run.
