Two weeks ago, I dispatched Branton to his mother, Catherina who stays in Kakamega. This followed the brat’s apparent shifting of allegiance from me, his voluntary benefactor, to Kuya, my nemesis.
Although that was the main reason, there was another, important reason, which I will come to shortly.
As you know, ever since we got married, Fiolina and I have never been just the two of us; we have never really enjoyed life as other couples do. There have always been children around us.
As you know, as soon as Catherina heard that I had elected to spend the rest of my life with someone else other than her, she dumped Branton at my place. Branton was then two.
On seeing that we were now staying with Branton, the family of Fiolina, the lucky laugh of my enviable life, must have thought we were getting money from a tree. His brother, Tocla, dispatched his daughters Electina and Honda, to stay with us for a few weeks. It is now almost a decade.
As a result, we already had a big family long before we had a family.
As the whole world knows, in 2017, we were blessed with Sospeter, initially named Probox – because he was born in a Probox on our way to the hospital – a very handsome but naughty boy. Ever since then, we have always been busy as parents. We are always thinking about work or children.
Although I am yet to tell Fiolina, my plan is to have at least one month for ourselves. A month when we can wake up whatever time we feel, or even not wake up at all; when we can take breakfast in bed, or not take breakfast at all; when we can just laze round the house the whole day doing lots of nothing; when we can dress how we want, or even wear nothing; when we can prepare whatever food we want, without considering children, or eat nothing!
We would like to have quiet days, says lots of nothings to each other; have afternoon siestas, take evening walks together as we watch the sun come down, or go nowhere; spend evenings cooking supper together, watch TV, or just admire each other. Of course, we would like to, for obvious reasons, sleep late: whether on bed or on the sofa!
This is the plan I have for us this December. But there are three problems, and not having told Fiolina is not one of them. We have Sospeter around, plus Electina and Honda. We need to find a place to dispatch the three. How do I tell Fiolina that I need Electina and Honda to be away for a month; and tell her so in a way that pleases God?
Anytime we have taken the girls to their parents, there always arises a reason for them to come back earlier. As you know, although Fiolina does not admit it, I work so hard to give my family soft life. In my house, we take good breakfast every day, and we budget for lunch every day, and proper supper is guaranteed.
Despite the tough economic times, rice, chapati, ndengu, beef - even if it is matumbo - are common things in my house. So are fruits and soda, or juice. Also, we have a big tank that collects water, our river is not far, we have a cemented floor, and we have power in our house. And a TV that works.
The same does not obtain in Tocla’s place, where Fiolina came from. The river is far, power is a far-fetched rumour, the floors are made from mud and cow dung, houses grass-thatched, regular food is irregular, and things like fruits, chapatis, rice, soda are only taken once in a year – on Christmas day. I am not bragging, but you will agree with me that I actually rescued Fiolina from hardship to soft life - and paid for it!
So, whenever Electina and Honda go back to their parents, I understand why they always come back quickly.
I needed to think where to take the girls for the whole of December. The other person that needs to be dispatched is Sospeter. Ever since he was born, the boy has never slept away from us, even for a day. Never!
As part of his growing, it is important that he goes to stay with someone else. My sister, Yunia has been asking for him for long, but you know how that goes - it will be an income-generating activity. I will have to do big shopping for her when he arrives, be sending money every often, and when he returns, all his clothes will have been taken – or torn. I have experienced that with Branton, so Yunia is out of question.
The second option would have been my sister Caro, Mwisho wa Lami’s Minster for Communication and Information. But, if you remember, we differed with Caro a few months ago, after she was battered by her husband, came home, and returned to the man after a month against our advice! Until we reconcile, Sospeter can’t go there.
The other option is to take him to stay with my brother Ford. As you know, Ford is a prison warden in Kitui. Ford had asked to go with Sospeter last December and we were all was ready, but Fiolina said that she would not allow our son to go to prison so early in his life! Ford did not take that well.
That only left me with my brother Pius as the only viable host for Sospeter. Sospeter should have gone there last August, but as you may know, Fiolina and Pius’s wife have not been on talking terms for a while now.
I called Pius last week and he agreed to host Sospeter. Luckily for me, when the Honda heard that Sospeter will be going to Nairobi, she too wanted to go with her. Electina also wanted to go, but Fiolina said she does not trust Pius with a 17-year-old girl! Sospeter and Honda will travel this week.
That leaves us with Electina, and we can remain just the two of us to enjoy one month together; admire each other, have fun, visit people, maybe even travel to Mombasa! Who knows? Maybe the reward of staying without children for a month may be another child arriving a few months later!
But first, we need to find a place to dispatch Electina for a month. Any female volunteer ready to host a 17-year-old responsible, disciplined girl? Please email me on:
