When I decided to go to Nairobi to attend Jamhuri Day celebrations, and graduate from Arizona University with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Artificial and other Intelligence, I made one major blunder, which is not passing by Hitler’s before leaving Mwisho Lami.
Another blunder was telling everyone about my plans. I did not tell everyone but mentioned it to my sister, Caro.
In case you have forgotten, Caro is Mwisho wa Lami’s minister for information and broadcasting. The surest way to tell everyone in Mwisho wa Lami about something is to tell Caro. And tell her not to tell anyone. She will do exactly the opposite.
What I have since gathered is that no sooner had I boarded the Nairobi-bound Msamaria Mwema than Caro spreading information that I had been invited for Jamhuri celebrations by the President and later a luncheon at State House.
“I told you long ago that Dre was in UDA, he is the President’s point man here and I hear he voted for the president,” said Nyayo at Hitler’s that evening, I am informed. I understand that everyone agreed with him.
“But who does not know that Dre is always a government person, he always works with the government in power, always,” said Rasto. “Forget about the big national government, I can tell you even when Bensouda was here, forget about the small differences they seem to show us; deep down, Dre and Bensouda were and are still very close.”
“You’re very right Rasto,” said Nyayo. “Many times, the two would pretend to be fighting but they weren’t. You have no idea the number of times I dropped Dre at Bensouda’s house and picked him late. Some time I never picked him at all, so you can guess for yourself what happened.”
“It is indeed true that Dre and Bensouda were close, but that doesn’t matter now,” said Nyayo. “If Dre is going to Nairobi to meet the president, it means he has money and he must share with us when back.”
The thought that I would be receiving money was erroneous, but who can blame me? It’s Caro to blame for telling everyone to look out for me on TV as I graduate the next day.
No one had , and no one knew anyone who had. “You see, none here has been, in fact the no one from this region has even been to that mighty place,” said Alphayo.
“Le me tell you that you do not go to the house on the hill and leave empty handed, you will surely leave with a fat envelope,” he added. “President Ruto is not like Uhuru and Kibaki before him who were mean. He is like Moi, always caring about the visitors.”
“That is great news indeed,” said Nyayo. “That means that our Christmas is now sorted.”
On Jamhuri day, I understand, everyone in Mwisho wa Lami was glued to TV to watch their son. And although I did not make it to Nyayo Stadium, my people ‘saw’ me and were overly excited. I was also ‘seen’ at State House for the Jamhuri Day luncheon.
At the time, I did not know this, for as you know, I had lost my phone earlier that morning. It was only earlier this week when Pius gave me his old phone. On opening my WhatsApp, I had many congratulatory messages from everyone in Mwisho wa Lami who had WhatsApp their phone.
To digress a little, the WhatsApp Group that had previously been called Arizona University Class of 2022 was now called Arizona University KE Alumni Association, even though there wasn’t much activity there. If that group was quiet, the people of Mwisho wa Lami were not .
“Don’t forget me this Christmas,” Rasto had written.
“Tumekungoja sana Christmas, ulete mazuri please,” was the message from Nyayo
I wished people knew the troubles I had. When I tried to send money, I found my M-pesa zero balance. When I called, I was told the money had been sent out.
The thief had also taken several loans, including repaying the Hustler Loans, had the limit increased and took another bigger loan! Even as struggled with this, my father also called me asking me to remember him this Christmas.
“You have ever done anything for me during Christmas. I ask you to remember me this time round, now that money is not a problem,” he said. I just did not know what to tell him.
I had thought about telling Fiolina, the laugh of my life, about my tribulations, but I did not know where to start, for I had not even informed her that I had travelled to Nairobi. I had wanted to surprise her with a degree.
But Pius came to my rescue, he called her and told her the physical, mental, and financial state I was in. She called me last Tuesday to check on me. On my request, she agreed that I can go to Kakamega for Christmas if I did not feel comfortable in Mwisho wa Lami nor in Nairobi.
I arrived in Kakamega last Thursday from Nairobi, and I will stay here until schools open in late January next year. I must be of best behaviour so as not to upset Fiolina.
