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Millennial parents struggle to embrace Gen Z’s ‘scruffy’ look

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From ripped jeans and oversized sweaters to colourful crocs and statement tees, Gen Z’s fashion choices are as bold as they are unconventional.

Photo credit: Shutterstock

In every generation, a fashion craze takes young people by storm. This prompts criticism from their parents and the soundtrack: ‘In our days, you would never…’

This delicate dance has been played out from time immemorial. That’s why it’s quite amusing to see millennials trying to convince their Gen Z children to ‘dress better’ – and thinking they’ll succeed. Tough luck!

During the just-concluded festivities, a father of a Gen Z daughter couldn’t believe his eyes when she entered the living room and announced she was ready to go. They were heading for a family get-together on Christmas Day.

“She was wearing oversized pants and a baggy hood. And Crocs with socks. She looked like she had just woken up…”

To make matters worse, the baggy clothes weren’t revealing, so millennial parents couldn’t quite clutch at the straws of decency to convince their children to dress differently. From ripped jeans and oversized sweaters to colourful crocs and statement tees, Gen Z’s fashion choices are as bold as they are unconventional. Their outfits scream individuality and nonconformity.

Jemimah Waigwe has two Gen Z children and has been fighting a losing battle on the fashion front.

“They prefer exploring and expressing themselves in very distinct ways. I now understand that their fashion choices are less about rebellion and more about discovering their identity.”

Although she has some say on what clothes they wear since she buys them, they still get their way when it comes to pairing outfits and choosing the occasions for wearing them.

“One time, I was taking my son (17) to an official event. I did not check his outfit before leaving the house because he was already in the car. When we got there, I realised he was wearing Crocs, and it was raining! He just shrugged and said, ‘I’m good, it is swag.’”

Jemimah laughs as she contrasts her parenting experience with how she was raised.

“Back then, we never questioned our parents about what to wear or tried to make bold statements through fashion. It was simple, we just followed instructions. Raising Gen Z is tougher.”

Margaret Nyambura, a mother of seven – one millennial and six Gen Zs – says her children’s closets are dominated by faded T-shirts, sweatpants, hoodies, and rubber shoes.

“They love baggy clothes, and one of them is very private. For instance, if we plan a family outing and insist on a dress code, she might suddenly decide not to go, saying she is fine staying home. I have learned to let them be and adapt as I continue this parenting journey.”

Interestingly, Margaret’s sense of fashion hasn’t rubbed off on any of her children. They have acquired trends from peers and self-discovery.

Even stylish celebrity parents haven’t been spared either. David Mathenge, better known as Nameless, and his wife Wahu have tasted the Gen Z fashion trends courtesy of their Gen Z daughters, Tumiso and Nyakio.

Referring to one of his daughter’s love for ripped jeans, Nameless says, “She wears those torn clothes with so much pride, I sometimes wonder if I missed a memo. But as long as she is happy, I am learning to support her style.”

Nameless describes Tumiso as a mix of his personality and her distinctive flair. “She is expressive, opinionated, and fearless in questioning the world around her. She loves experimenting with her style. Sometimes we don’t see eye to eye, and we then find a middle ground. She is learning to balance looking cool while maintaining a polished image, which I often advise her on.”

For the Mathenge’s, they have been amused to see Tumiso’s fashion taste mirror that of her mother when she was younger.

“It is like a retro revival. Sometimes, Tumiso wears crop tops and other trends Wahu rocked back in the day. There are some clothes her mother kept, and she picks them out and wears them. Sometimes even Wahu will joke when she sees her wearing something familiar, ‘Do you know I used to wear that?’”

And what does he think of Crocs?

“Crocs are like the modern version of the sandals we used to wear. Remember how those old sandals made your feet sweat? Crocs, on the other hand, seem to be designed differently. They are lightweight, and now people pair them with socks. I think they are fresh and practical for everyone, especially children.”

However, being public figures, he admits they get to influence their daughters’ clothing choices a bit more firmly.

“Sometimes, it’s surprising how she chooses to present herself. It is a constant back-and-forth. About half of the time, we debate whether she is underdressed or overdressed.

There are moments when I tell her, ‘You are part of the same brand; people will look at you.’ At other times, she goes overboard, and I have to step in and say, ‘This outfit is too much for where we are going, please change.’”

It is a learning process, but as time goes on, she is improving. “For concerts or big events, we work with a stylist who also helps her find the right balance. However, I always remind the stylist to keep in mind that she is still a child, even if she is 18. She is still mine. The advantage of having a parent as her manager is that we understand the industry but also prioritise her well-being. We want her to grow at a natural pace without feeling emotionally overwhelmed.”

Back to our baffled parent who had hoped the daughter would rock a girly dress for the family get-together. It turns out that when they got there, her cousins were in the same dark, baggy clothes, and she fit right in.

Maybe it is time millennial parents accepted that their Gen Z children have chosen to embrace the ‘homeless’ aesthetic.

Caroline Njung’e’s column will resume on January 19.