My wife is putting stuff in my food to tame me. Should I divorce her?

Hi, my name is Dr Victor based in Luanda, Angola.

I am a foreigner in Angola but married to an Angolan wife. I am self-employed, and my wife mostly attends the church service with our children. Her pastor/prophet has poisoned her mind that I have so many girlfriends, which is not true. Now, the prophet prescribed her medicinal concoctions to put in my food, which she accepted and put in my food. One time, I caught her red-handed putting the stuff in my food. She told me she has been doing it for a long time. To cut the story short, I think I should divorce her. I can’t trust her anymore; I am not even eating her food. Should I divorce her or not?
 

READERS ADVICE

I empathise with your situation. You are the first priest in your home and you should guide your family. You have left your wife to choose and to a larger extent be derailed by the prophet because of not accompanying them to church. You don't need to divorce your wife, what you need to do is get to know what your wife was seeking in the church. And also get why she was derailed by the prophet or pastor. 

Be empathetic with your wife and know that she's redeemable and is able to overcome the current situation. Lead your family to a better church. 

Joel Maina, Chairman, Marriage Building Family 

Also read: How do I tell if this relationship is serious?

It is unfortunate that your wife fell prey to a rogue pastor or prophet. I think that should be a herbal medicine dealer and not a man of God. A good pastor can't give medicinal concoctions; he prays for the situation in the name of the Lord. I know as a human it can be hard to trust her again but try to think about giving her another chance. It is good she confessed. Divorce is not the only solution. It can give you more negative effects than the medicinal concoctions you were being fed.

Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Senior Pastor, Mitume P.A.G Church, Kitale

Four things need to be pointed out. One; a doctor is a big catch to any woman in any language in any country.

Two; the economic trickle-down effect from you spreads wide to your in-laws and beyond. Three; once a lady gets entrapped by the smooth-talking pastors, it is impossible to make them change their minds. It gets even worse when they start dappling in the dark occult forces.

Fourth; in marriage, trust sometimes becomes more necessary than even love. Negotiating divorce while in that same location could be dangerous.

Drive Counseling Centre- Kitengela

Also read: I love my mpango wa kando more than my husband, what should I do?

EXPERT TAKE

One of the expected things in any relationship is the element of trust. In your context, this is your wife who did not tell you that an external person advised her to add an unknown substance into your food without your consent, which could be harmful in the long run. It is even more distressing that she has done it for a while based on your story. Leaving her is an option. However, I would advise that you find out at what point she begun to take the Pastor's word over yours. The main question to her should be whether she is willing to dissolve a marriage because of her church indoctrination. 

Maurice Matheka, relationship counsellor

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NEXT WEEK’S DILEMMA

I am currently in a one-year relationship but along the journey of self-discovery, I pay for casual safe sex from red-light district women. I don't engage much with them apart from inquiring about the cost of their services. It's strictly business. What would you call the scenario that I am going through? Would you consider that I’m in an open relationship? Should I ask my girlfriend if she's open to me exploring the red-light district if it is safe? Our relationship has been a mixture of long and short distance. I would appreciate your feedback.

 Bryan

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