It has been nine years since I first met Jack. Since that first meeting he has consistently visited the Sexology Clinic with his wife once a year for a full sexual health check.
He came to the clinic last week for the check and asked me if this is a habit that other couples have adopted. I shook my head in response.
“You are not doing well as a professional!” he exclaimed. “Why have you not advised them on this?” I reclined on my seat, truly challenged. I promised that I would talk to my patients about it. Jack’s conviction came when he read an article I had written on men with a single testis.
At that time he was 39 years old. After reading the article he did self-examination and confirmed that he had a single testis. He came to the clinic the next day.
A week later he was in theatre for an operation to fish out a testis which was deeply buried in his pelvis.
The undescended testis was removed and examined in the lab. It had early signs of cancer, a common complication in cases of undescended testes.
“I have never had a sexual health examination. I would have died of cancer if I had not read your article,” Jack said after the treatment. “I commit to have annual examinations with my wife for the rest of our lives. A few years later, Joyce, Jack’s wife, also developed painful sex.
Prior to that she had undergone menopause education when she came for her annual check. “The talk on menopause helped a lot.
When I told Jack that I did not have sexual urges and that I was finding it hard to lubricate he very quickly remembered what we had discussed,” Joyce explained. But annual sexual health checks are not only limited to biological problems.
In one examination I had to resolve a serious conflict between Jack and Joyce. Joyce accused Jack of infidelity. He found a suspicious text message in Jack’s phone. Hell broke loose.
By the time they were coming for the health check they had not been intimate for three months. I had to counsel them in three sessions to resolve the issue. Some people may not have the luxury and resources to have a sexual health check every year.
At the very least, however, a newborn should be fully examined so that if there is an anomaly with the genitals it is identified early. Some of these may require surgery immediately. Then there is the examination at puberty.
Many adolescents worry a lot, wondering if they are normal sexually. An examination and some education about their bodies and feelings is important. Many young people have found themselves pregnant or infected with a venereal disease accidentally because nobody taught them how to handle risky situations. Marriage is a commitment, among others, to be available for and satisfy each other sexually.
Many people go into marriage with little knowledge of sexuality. It is not once that couples have prematurely terminated their honeymoon to seek sex advice. Such unfortunate experiences can be avoided through premarital sex health examination and counseling. Issues of family planning and child spacing are also discussed. As a marriage progresses, different situations arise. Couples need to know how to handle sex in pregnancy.
Further, sex after delivery and during the whole duration of breastfeeding is never the same. Sexual health check is important as part of pregnancy care. With time certain diseases begin to set in which interfere with sexuality. Common among these is obesity. Then there is diabetes and hypertension. There may also be hormone problems such as low testosterone or high prolactin.
The time between the ages of 35 and 60 years is a minefield for these diseases. Unless one is consistently on the lookout for these diseases, they can exist quietly and cause sexual failure. Conditions such as low libido, erection problems or failure to get orgasm do present as complications of these diseases.
Frequent sexual health checks are highly recommended during these ages. Along the way also, couples tend to have communication problems. Some fall into problems of infidelity. Others disagree on issues of investment and childcare. Conflict can be common.
All these affect sexual health and many a couple have ended up in sexless marriages and even separation and divorce.
Such eventualities can be avoided through frequent sexual health checks. “And when you tell your patients about these checks do not forget to mention the issues of third parties and how they affect marriages,” Joyce said as they stood to leave the consultation room. She remembered one health check where we discussed how to manage relatives of your spouse.
They had gone through a terrible time of disagreement when Jack’s sister lived with them. She had little respect for Joyce and Jack was finding it difficult to tame her. I promised to mention this too to my patients.
