Help! My boyfriend only wants to meet me on weekends...

My boyfriend thinks our plans are boring, but he’s not interested in changing them much. We’ve been together for almost three years and usually meet two to three times a week, mostly at night since he prefers having his afternoons to himself. Our typical plans include movies (which I don’t love), dinner with his family, and going out with his friends. I’d like to do more interactive things (like TikTok games or art dates), but he doesn’t seem interested. When we’re together, we don’t talk much, and he gets annoyed if I comment during movies. I’m starting to feel like he doesn’t find me interesting. Is it normal that he doesn’t want to see me more than twice a week and avoids weekday meetups? Am I overreacting?
Mercy, Thika

READERS’ ADVICE
From your narration, it is clear that your chemistry is wanting. It is a red flag that cannot be ignored. Secondly, apart from the frequency of meetings, there's nothing else you have in common, and that means you are incompatible. Chemistry and compatibility are some of the ingredients experienced in any relationship. You're not overreacting. It's very clear that you feel lonely while in love. It's abnormal for him not to feel the same for you. Maybe you're ready to formalise and move your relationship to another level, but he's not ready for that. You need to sit your boyfriend down. Come clean on your concerns, fears, expectations, and future plans. If he shows any signs of being uncommitted to your relationship kindly take a walk out of the relationship. Don't make the grievous mistake of giving it a blind eye hoping or assuming he'll change in future. Never preserve space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay.
D Mutunga

It's understandable to feel concerned about the frequency of your meet-ups. However, the amount of time someone wants to spend with their partner can vary based on individual preferences, personal circumstances, and relationship dynamics including the following: Personal Space: Some people value their personal space and independence. Your boyfriend might feel that seeing each other twice a week is a healthy balance for both of you. Different Relationship Styles. Every relationship has its rhythm. Some people are more comfortable with less frequent meetings and still maintain strong feelings for their partner. Communication: The best way to understand his feelings is to communicate openly. Ask him about his perspective on your time together and how he feels about the relationship. Quality over quantity: Focus on the quality of the time you spend together. If those moments are meaningful and enjoyable, it may not necessarily reflect a lack of interest. Ultimately, the best approach is to have an honest conversation with him about your feelings and concerns. This can help clarify both of your needs and expectations in the relationship.
Fred Lastborn Jausenge, UAE

It is evident that you are not compatible. Two cannot walk together if they are not in agreement and as the saying goes, “birds of the same feather flock together.” We can't have the same tastes and preferences as couples, but our interests should not be too far apart. I suggest that you make up your mind as early as now to avoid regrets later.
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Senior Pastor in Mitume P.A.G Church, Kitale

FROM THE EXPERT
Your biggest problem is that you are too reliant on him to find your happiness. Being in a relationship does not mean you are going to have the same or similar interests. Your boredom and dislikes are stemming from a lovey dovey notion that being together will create some form of magic. It will not. You are also way too young to be committing to these relationship struggles. If you have an interest in something then go ahead and pursue it, enjoy it and be content with your boyfriend not having the same interest. Everyone at some point needs their 'me time'. Spending every possible hour and day together can be overwhelming. I do not recommend it. I would advise you to limit your time with him so that you give him the avenue to chase you. Your current routine is probably working against you.

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