I love my partner very much. I believe he is my soul mate and I want us to stay together. But recently, I had a sexual encounter with a queer woman and the experience was so exciting! Now, I can’t stop thinking about her. My desire for queer intimacy is consuming me. Should I risk everything and share this with my partner, or should I just explore my fantasy in secret?
What happens in darkness or in secrecy will definitely come to light one day and cease to be a secret. Respect your partner and know that you have a relationship to keep.Calvin Queens,
It is good you are saying you believe she's your soul mate because she isn't. How on earth could you betray your soulmate? You shouldn't have betrayed her especially if she believes you're her soulmate too. Your encounter with a queer is just a fantasy. Be honest. Share with your partner and be ready for the consequences including losing her because it's immensely hurting to be betrayed by someone you adore. Love is easily lost through infidelity, but often it fades away quietly through a host of small everyday mistakes that chip in a relationship. You made one big mistake.D Mutunga
Your situation reflects a profound tension between love, commitment, and self-discovery. I will advise on a path rooted in honesty, self-awareness, and ethical communication to preserve both your integrity and your relationship. Risking vulnerability by sharing your truth is ethically and emotionally preferable to secrecy, which almost guarantees long-term harm. While honesty may destabilise the relationship temporarily, it preserves respect and agency for both parties. Prioritise therapy to process your desires, communicate with compassion, and remember that self-discovery and love can coexist, but only through integrity and courage.
Nyakenyanya Japhet,
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Senior Pastor in Mitume PAG Church, Kitale
You should not tell her. Instead, lavish her with love and appreciation. Promise yourself to never ever be unfaithful again and put it behind you. You will cause a lot more heartache to her than the burden you are carrying. Forgive yourself. Work at building an incredible loving relationship with the original and only love of your life. You should not tell her, because you may lose her and break her heart. Focus on the future. Fred Lastborn Jausenge, UAE
FROM THE EXPERT Maurice Matheka is a relationships expert
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