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How come this relationship is not moving to the next level?
What you need to know:
- I would urge you to appreciate your relationship as it thrives.
- If for you, moving is a progression to marriage, then unfortunately, you are failing to see the bigger picture, which is the fact that both of you are still having fun.
- I recommend you do not attempt to mold your relationship into something you will regret.
I’ve been dating a nice guy for a while, and we’re having a lot of fun together, but somehow the relationship’s not progressing at all. I’d like it to move! What’s wrong?
You might be taking the relationship seriously while he is having fun. In other words, you are the committed partner here while he is a joyrider. Communication is important. Don't assume your partner is on the same page as you. Sit down and discuss your relationship.
Chira Githinji
Read: Help! I was forced to marry a woman I don't love...
If you would like to move to marriage, then portray yourself as wife material. Some men tend to see some women as only good for hanging out with, but not worth settling down with in marriage. Add maturity to the fun you are having. What do you talk about while together? Let him see some future in your talk.
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Senior Pastor in Mitume PAG Church, Kitale
There's nothing wrong with your relationship apart from concentrating on having fun. We all want to be happy, but sometimes you have to sacrifice your fun times. Have a discussion with your man and set reasonable goals with a timeline, then do things differently and get out of your comfort zone. This will help you foster a common direction.
Juma Felix
Read: Does this woman love me or is she wasting my time?
When a relationship plateaus, it can leave one or both partners feeling confused, frustrated, or unfulfilled. Relationship stagnation is rarely due to a single issue but rather a combination of communication gaps, unmet needs, and unaddressed fears. While it is natural to desire progression, patience and self-reflection are key. Ask yourself, are my needs being respected? Does this relationship align with my long-term values? If efforts to connect deeper are consistently one-sided, it may signal incompatibility. However, many relationships can evolve with honesty, empathy, and shared commitment.
Remember, a stalled relationship is not inherently a failure, it is an invitation to build a stronger foundation. By approaching the situation with curiosity rather than criticism, you create space for mutual understanding and, potentially, a more meaningful connection.
Nyakenyanya Japhet
Any good relationship needs three things. Love, trust, and respect. If you love each other you will be willing to fight to stay together, If you trust each other (not blindly but truly) then you not only trust faithfulness but you trust that they will be there for you, that you can count on them, and that they love you And if you respect each other you will respect them enough to communicate any issues and you won’t fight dirty whenever you do happen to fight. I wish you the very best in your relationship.
Fred Lastborn Jausenge - UAE
FROM THE EXPERT
That sentence, “we’re having a lot of fun together” is not something I hear often in the climate of today’s hip dynamics. The main reason is that those who are not having fun but are just existing in the motions of life took their acquired titles too seriously. I would urge you to appreciate your relationship as it thrives. If for you, moving is a progression to marriage, then unfortunately, you are failing to see the bigger picture, which is the fact that both of you are still having fun. I recommend you do not attempt to mold your relationship into something you will regret. Many who have what people perceive as a serious relationship are unhappy and living a day at a time with degrees of disconnect, yet they have the certificate of union. What is wrong is that you are overlooking how lucky you are to be in your current relationship mood. Nurture your friendship instead of seeking titles that will not add value to your happiness.
Maurice Matheka is a relationships expert
NEXT WEEK’S DILEMMA
I’ve had several long-term relationships, but they’ve all ended when I least expected. Am I just unlucky, or are men much more difficult to cope with these days?
