I got addicted to masturbation as a young boy. How do I stop?

A guy — a friend introduced me to watching pornographic videos when I was in class seven and consequently this led to masturbation which I’m addicted to till now. I am now at the university, first year but despite efforts to stop masturbation, it has not been easy. 

I have heard about the different effects of masturbation eg erectile dysfunction, but research especially on what doctors say online about self-pleasure is that it's a normal thing which is done by almost all men and women and that it doesn't have effects. Since I started it, I have noted some slight changes in me, premature ejaculation, and poor vision among others and this tells me that the effects might be more acute if I continue. I also feel that it may affect my fertility and that I may not be able to have my own children in future. However, I can't authenticate my fears. 

I really want to stop masturbating since it seems like it's blocking everything good I’m trying to do. Kindly let me know the effects and the way I can stop self-pleasure and be who I was before involving myself in the act.

READER’S ADVICE

On the premature ejaculation the best way to go around it is to take a break after you ejaculate. It is better to talk to your partner to at least prioritise the sex session so that both of you can enjoy the session. There are a lot of things that can be done during the refractory period. Masturbation is the safest form of sex in today's world due to the significant numbers of HIV and STIs, and early pregnancy cases. It’s okay once in a while. 

Bryan Otieno

Porn is addictive because it’s easily accessible, affordable and anonymous. The truth is, all addictions are disastrous. They lead to the death of a vision, a career, a relationship, or a marriage depending on what matters to the victim. Porn is the reason for your present challenge and you should make a decision to stop watching it. Self-pleasuring is also addicting and may become an obsessive-compulsive disorder which might be difficult to overcome. My take: See a sex therapist who will help you out with coping mechanisms and deal with the underlying issues, any unfinished business or unresolved issues in your life. Self-pleasuring drains the energy in your body and this affects concentration in class and hence you become less productive. Don't be deceived, there's no addiction without a price to be paid. Most masculine sexual challenges are treatable through psychotherapy, chemotherapy, or physiotherapy. Your self-confidence and esteem should bounce back.  

W. Kagochi Kuira, Counselor Nyeri 

The remedy for any problem is first realising and accepting that the problem is there. It is good you know some effects though you doubt them. I want to put it categorically that God created everything and directed its use. Changing this may lead to server damage. It is true that masturbation may lead to premature ejaculation among other things including low self-esteem. A person who masturbates lives with guilt and this affects their social life. One is psychologically affected. End this vice requires a high degree of discipline. You need to tell yourself I don't want this! You also need to avoid reading and watching pornography and being in isolation. Lastly, pray or seek spiritual advice. I wish you well.

Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Mitume, Kitale

EXPERT’S TAKE

Masturbation as an act of self-stimulus is not a problem. What may cause issues is a sense of guilt based on social teachings and more commonly a bodily deficiency in zinc, proteins & amino acids that deplete every time you ejaculate. The deficiency can cause you to feel weak and unwell to some degree. Mainly because your diet does not replenish what your body has lost. If you aim to stop, you must look at the source that leads you to masturbate. The sexual content that stimulates you is your core hurdle. You need to refrain from watching that content and find other leisure functions to occupy your mind. The urge to ejaculate will not subside if you continue the same pattern. Every time you get the urge you must replace it with something else so that over time you reduce the intervals of wanting to perform the act. You are the only one who can decide to set the measures to stop. 

NEXT WEEK’S DILEMMA

Hi, I’m Kane. I am a 33-year-old single man from Nairobi. I’m an engineer. My issue is that I have tried dating several times but I find it's not my thing at all. 

I feel I need to settle down, it's also my wish to but after getting a woman, and making out, that's it! I’m no longer interested in her at all. Even if I meet a nice cute looking woman, I am disinterested after making out. Funny enough, no woman has ever said No to my advances. 

What could be wrong? What is my problem? I can't understand myself when it comes to this. 

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