Hello, I am 32 years old. I have been dating this woman for four years now. I have been in the wrong each time, repeating the same mistakes. Now, my parents are mad and accuse her of my mistakes and now say I can't marry her. I have changed over the last few months and she has appreciated the change, but my parents’ attitude towards her remains unchanged. They can’t understand that I was the one in the wrong from the very beginning. What shall I do now? Should I continue dating her and marry her, or should I move on?
From your narration, the confounding issue is not your potential partner nor your parents. The issue actually is you. You do not know yourself, and until you seek and know yourself, do not make a major life decision.
Drive Counseling Centre, Nakuru
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Senior Pastor Mitume PAG Church, Kitale
Four years of dating the same forgiving girlfriend means she knows your weaknesses and is ready to deal with them because she understands you better than your parents in the relationship context. This is a lady you met, established some mutual understanding then fell for each other without involving your parents. Meaning it shouldn’t be a must for you to consider their opinion on whether to marry her or not. The relationship or marriage is just between you and your woman, and has nothing to do with your parents.
What you have confirmed is that you take ownership of your mistakes. You know that you have been wrong and you have worked towards correcting your ways. You need to maintain the same momentum and ask yourself whether your woman of four years makes you happy despite life’s ups and downs which are part of the process.
Maurice Matheka, Relationship Counsellor
Hello, I have three women both having my children. My problem is, I recently met a woman who has two children, the last one is by a Chinese man. Her Chinese husband has left her and gone to China never to come back and this woman is so rich, with six apartments and a good car. My problem is, I truly love the woman but she is such a drunk. She always gives me money for my children and upkeep. Should I leave her or continue this way?
