What makes a marriage happy forever?
What you need to know:
- Open, honest, and frequent communication is key. This includes actively listening, expressing each other’s needs and feelings, and resolving conflicts harmoniously.
- Have mutual respect for each other's opinions, boundaries, and individuality. Building and maintaining trust is crucial.
- A shared commitment to the marriage, even during challenging times, will help keep the fire burning.
I am in a lovely marriage, and we’re honest and committed. But I sometimes wonder, what can I do to take it to the next level? What makes a marriage happy forever?
Christine
First, let me congratulate you on being in a happy marriage. Thank God, for it is what many are yearning for without success. To remain happy forever or take it to the next level will depend on the input of both of you. Things change when people change. What are you doing now? Keep it up! Maintain faithfulness and honesty, as you said. Another important ingredient for a healthy marriage is good communication. This keeps the fire of love burning. Trust is paramount too. Lack of trust drives away love and respect in marriage. In addition, avoid intruders in your marriage; they can be friends or relatives. Above all, put God first before everything. All the best.
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Senior Pastor in Mitume P.A.G Church, Kitale
A happy, lasting marriage is built on a foundation of several fundamentals which must grow under one roof – friendship. You must be inseparable friends, as this brings joy and companionship to the marriage. Open, honest, and frequent communication is key. This includes actively listening, expressing each other’s needs and feelings, and resolving conflicts harmoniously. Have mutual respect for each other's opinions, boundaries, and individuality. Building and maintaining trust is crucial. This involves honesty, reliability, and faithfulness. A shared commitment to the marriage, even during challenging times, will help keep the fire burning. You must be able to forgive each other's mistakes and move forward. Having aligned values and working towards common goals will strengthen your bond. Providing emotional, physical, intellectual and practical intimacy keeps the connection alive. Being flexible and adaptable to changes and challenges throughout life is quite necessary. Essentially, a lasting marriage requires ongoing effort, dedication, and a willingness to grow together.
D Mutunga, from the school of life
I’m still learning, but one thing that has deepened our bond is creating a space where we both feel safe—safe to be silly, vulnerable, ambitious, even wrong. We don’t try to "fix" each other; we grow together. I’ve found that celebrating small wins and being present in tough moments keeps the connection strong. A happy marriage isn’t perfect—it’s intentional, evolving, and kind.
Freezer from Nairobi,
A fellow learner in love
Glad to hear your marriage is doing well, that's encouraging and congratulations. However, each marriage is unique. Throw out the false notion that marriage is a bed of roses. Marriage is a mix of good, bad, beautiful, ugly, and terrible moments. Therefore, every marriage requires various techniques and methods to make it work. And these methods vary from couple to couple. What works out for one couple may not work out for the other. The best way to grow your marriage is by first being friends with your spouse. Be their best friend. Ego is an ugly trait, kill it. Learn to forgive and forget. Go on a lot of dates and really get to know your partner. Crack silly jokes and laugh about them together. It helps to de-stress and bond. Give importance to sex and enjoy it. Don’t ever look at it as a chore. There will be countless moments where small things might blow your lid. This is where you need to pause and let it go. Life is too short. If you keep getting angry, you will regret it deeply in the long run.
Appreciate your partner regularly. It helps immensely in strengthening the bond between you, leading to a more fulfilling and lasting relationship. Never talk about the past. The past is over. Because no matter how much you talk about it or cry about it, it won’t change. You are in the present for a reason. Enjoy the present. No matter how ugly a fight, kick your ego aside and assure your spouse that everything is alright. It improves the quality of your marriage. Marriage is about compromise. It’s a give and take. Be mature. Be an adult and please act like one. If it gets too overwhelming, take it one day at a time. There is no need to feel pressured about the “forever” tag. I wish someone else could have sat my late parents down and told them the points that I have mentioned. Unfortunately, some of us learn only through experience. All the best.
Fred Lastborn Jausenge, UAE
Are you facing a dilemma? To seek help or give advice, write to satmag@ke.nationmedia.com