"I met Naomi at a friend's party. When I saw her, I thought she was just the perfect woman for me. I wasn't looking for an older woman and Naomi wasn't looking for a younger man, but it just happened. (I was 30 and she was 45 then.) Our relationship is unique because it's not just built on sex, but on trust, respect and love," says Lucas.
Lucas's case is one among the growing list of men who are choosing to date and settle down with older women. According to an in-depth survey conducted by an online platform, 27 per cent of younger men were found to be attracted to older women. The same survey also revealed that 9 per cent of single people were likely to pursue partners who are ten years older or younger than them.
Recently, Gospel singer Peter Omwaka, also known as Guardian Angel, 32, proposed to his girlfriend, Esther Musila, on her 51st birthday. While this raised eyebrows, the couple is forging a future together. Then there's French President Emmanuel Macron, and his wife Brigitte, who is 24 years older. Age has become less of a talking point as the likes of Jennifer Lopez, Madonna, Joan Collins, Mariah Carey, Sandra Bullock, and Sam Taylor have all fallen for much younger men.
We polled some younger men and uncovered their reasons. Here are the most prevailing traits they offered.
Older women are financially responsible Older women are financially stable and won't depend on their men but can be helpful to their partners when in a financial crisis. Such women display genuine emotions. Therefore, it is much more meaningful to be with an older woman who will stick with you through thick and thin rather than a younger woman who is after your money and end up draining you financially.
"You need a supportive woman. I dated younger women before and they drained me so much financially and when I ran broke, they were nowhere to be found. I started interacting with older women and was captured by how they perceive life. Older women are supportive even when a man is in low moments financially, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. No man wants to deal with a "beggar" in the name of love. I look forward to dating a woman who is at least 10 years older than me," says Vincent Mwangangi, 34, a teacher.
Older women know what they want and go for it. They don't take forever to decide what they want. Young women take in a lot of peer pressure and tend to listen more to their age mates and with time may end up ruining a good relationship.
"I have dated an older woman with an age difference of 20 years. Our relationship is grounded on honesty, understanding, open communication, and we have established rules and live by them. We do not waste time on immature fights and games, making life easy. I also prefer the older female body to that of the younger ones. I like their laugh lines, stretch marks, and crow feet. A little tummy bulge is a turn-on," says 28-year-old gym instructor, James Oginge.
Older women are emotional stable
Older women are secure in their lives and are aware of their needs and desires and have a better understanding and tolerance of their partner's drawbacks. Because of their experiences and age, they offer a lot to a relationship. This is an irresistible trait.
"My wife helped me to deal with my insecurities. It was hard for me to trust because of a painful childhood where I witnessed my dad beating my mother. This birthed insecurities and fear in staying put in relationships. Am glad I met my wife who is 15 years my senior, and with her, I felt whole again. I am now fulfilled and would never look back and date a woman younger than me," says Kamau Njoroge, 34, a businessman.
Older women are understanding
Men who are in a relationship with mature women can get meaningful support and advice from their partners. Older women are sensible enough to handle difficult situations in life.
"I am a father of one. I divorced my wife due to some misunderstandings. After the breakup, I met an older woman who was very supportive and helped me to deal with the painful break-up. Though I never dreamt of dating an older woman, we started a relationship and at first, I was wary of the years' gap, but with time I realised age is just a number. While still dating her, I dated younger women intending to meet one that I would settle with. We had an understanding with the older woman that If I got a younger woman I would settle down. Unfortunately, the younger women disappointed me. Though I have a strong desire to have children of my own, I opted to stick with the older woman whose age difference is 12 years. We have been married for five years now. We have a great bond and she is very supportive and understanding," says James Otieno, 35, a businessman.
Older women do not need continuous pampering
Younger women need a lot of attention and pampering from their partners. They want to be showered with praise and gifts and in some cases, the gifts need to be expensive. They want romance and all the paraphernalia that comes with it. While older women do like to be pampered, the relationship's main focus is having fun instead of having constant validation.
"I met my girlfriend in 2019 and I value our time together. I am not astonished by our age difference which is 17 years. Unlike other younger women I dated, my woman never demands attention, rather focuses on having fun and being there for me. Her heart is one of a kind and we look forward to tying the knot in December this year," says Mark Juma, 30, a banker.
