For years, schools have stereotyped children from single-parent families with some teachers depicting a happy home as one that has a father, mother, and children.
Few to no textbooks had illustrations of single-parent families.
However, the number of single-parent households in Kenya over the last decade has grown, forcing a change in not only school policies and practices but also attitudes and teaching techniques.
Teachers have now been forced to drop the father as the head of the family unit narrative as some of the homes in Kenya are run by women.
According to the Kenya Demographic and Health Survey 2022, households led by women in urban areas rose from 27 per cent in 2014 to 31 per cent in 2022. The Economic Survey also reveals that registered births by single mothers increased from 13.5 per cent in 2021 to 13.9 per cent in 2022.
Vivian Kilei, a teacher is among those who have seen a rise in children from single-parent households, challenging them to find ways to make sure the children feel included in class and supported to achieve their career goals.
For the past seven years, Vivian says she has dedicated her life to shaping the minds and hearts of learners below five years, a critical age that sets the foundation for growth.
“The children’s faces brighten when we sing together—it sets a positive tone for the rest of the day,” says Vivian, an early childhood development teacher in Kisumu.
Kilei Vivian, an Early Childhood Development (ECD) teacher based in Kisumu says she has been forced to be more understanding to deal with learners coming from a single parent household.
In some instances, these teachers share they have had to step up and offer mentorship and counselling for some of the children battling identity crises and anxiety over the ‘missing’ parent.
"Teaching children is not just a profession; it’s a calling," says
Her observations over the years have revealed distinct patterns in children’s behaviour, especially concerning family structures.
"Children who grow up with both parents often exude confidence. They’re more engaged in class discussions and participate actively,” she says.
However, the reality is that not all children have this structure, and for many, it shows.
“Some children are withdrawn or even seem sad,” Vivian adds.
She cites an example of one of her learners when asked why she wasn’t participating in class, replied, “My dad comes home late, and I only live with the house help.”
“It’s not that single parents don’t love their children—they do. But economic pressures often mean they’re away for long hours earning income, leaving little time for bonding with the children.”
This imbalance affects how children interact with the world around them, including at school.
In some cases, these challenges manifest in unexpected ways.
Vivian remembers an incident during playtime. “The children were playing ‘house,’ and one girl, acting as the mom, said to the boy playing the dad, ‘You don’t listen to me!’ It was shocking but also a reflection of what the child had probably seen at home,” she says.
“A boy kissed a girl in class, and when I asked him why he did it, he said, ‘Kissing isn’t bad; she’s my friend.’ It was clear he had seen this at home. In some single-parent households, space constraints mean children are inadvertently exposed to adult activities,” she says.
As a teacher, Vivian has learned to be both patient and tactful.
“You can’t blame the child or the parent outright. Instead, I use these moments as teaching opportunities. I emphasise appropriate behaviour and try to explain boundaries in a way they can understand,” she explains.
Working with parents, however, isn’t always easy as some get very defensive when confronted with the indiscipline issues of their children.
“I sometimes hear responses like, ‘My child wouldn’t do that. I know them well.’ It takes a lot of patience and careful communication to ensure we’re working together for the child’s best interest.”
Vivian is grateful that schools are beginning to address these dynamics. “We attend retraining sessions where we’re taught how to engage with all parents, regardless of marital or social status,” she says.
Schools also encourage inclusivity by inviting class representatives from diverse family setups to share their perspectives.
“It’s a small step, but it helps foster understanding and collaboration. I want every child in my class to feel valued and loved. Whether they have both parents, a single parent, or are being raised by grandparents, they deserve the same level of care and support.”
Sensitivity and inclusivity
On the other hand, Collins Kadasia, a teacher in Busia County, says that he has also observed first-hand the struggles of learners coming from single-parent households. He mostly interacts with Grade 7, 8, and 9 students.
“You find that in a class of 60 learners, nearly a quarter come from single-parent households. This shift has introduced unique emotional and academic challenges, not only for the learners but also for us as educators,” he says.
Collins Kadasia, a teacher in Busia County says that he has learnt to be more inclusive in his teaching to accommodate all his learners.
Photo credit: Pool
He explains that every child brings something different to the classroom, but for many from single-parent families, emotional wounds often take centre stage.
“There are moments when one child speaks of a happy outing with both parents, and another sits quietly, avoiding eye contact. It’s evident they’re yearning for something they don’t have,” Collins says.
To bridge the gap, Collins has had to rethink his approach to teaching. Sensitivity and inclusivity have become the pillars of his classroom. “When discussing topics like ‘the head of the family,’ I make it clear that every family is different,” he says, "a family led by a single mother or father is just as valid as any other. The focus should be on mutual respect and love.”
Beyond classwork, Collins encourages his students to focus on their strengths and dreams, regardless of their family structure.
He often tells them, “Your family may be small, but it is strong.”
Sometimes, the challenges of these students go beyond the classroom.
One bright student approached him after class, visibly distressed.
“Sir, we were evicted last night,” he said. “We’ve not eaten, and I don’t know where we’ll sleep tonight.”
Collins listened as the student poured out his worries and offered what little help he could—a bag of maize and reassurance.
“If things don’t improve, my home is always open for you,” he told the student.
A few days later, the student returned with hope in his eyes. A family friend had taken them in temporarily, and his mother found casual work. Today, the student is one of the top three students in his class.
According to Collins, parental involvement in a child’s academics has little to do with marital status.
"I have seen single moms do everything in their power to be at every meeting, make sure the children. And I’ve also seen families where both parents are present but barely show interest in their child’s progress.”
It’s clear that dedication and commitment, not the number of parents, play a pivotal role in a child’s education.
For Marion Mukenyi, a primary school teacher in Nairobi, she has had to change her teaching methods to accommodate the unique challenges faced by learners from single-parent households.
Marion Mukenyi says that she is more empathetic to ensure that all his learners feel appreciated.
Photo credit: Pool
She says that single parents are often burdened with many responsibilities, leaving them little time and resources to invest in the education of their children. "Some of these children may lack access to quality educational resources, proper nutrition, or extra-curricular activities," Marion says.
For example, economic instability may translate to learners attending school without basic supplies or even meals, which affects their concentration and ability to participate. "As a teacher, I try to fill in the gaps by identifying those who are struggling and referring them to support programs, such as school feeding programmes or mentorship programs," she adds.
Marion also notes that learners from single-parent households may also exhibit behavioural challenges.
“Sometimes, you’ll notice a child acting out, withdrawing, or seeking constant attention. These behaviours often stem from unresolved emotions or a lack of boundaries at home.”
“Creating a safe and inclusive environment allows these children to feel supported and valued,” Marion says.
Group activities and peer support initiatives, such as mentorship programs or reading clubs, help foster a sense of belonging among students.
“I’ve learned to avoid assigning excessive homework that may overwhelm children who lack support at home,” she says.
Instead, she provides one-on-one assistance and encourages open communication.
“I’ve created a classroom where learners feel comfortable expressing their emotions. If a child wishes to share their feelings, I’m there to listen without judgment. This builds trust and helps them focus on their studies.”
When asked whether single parents are involved in their children’s education, Marion responded, “Unlike two-parent households, single parents have to balance work, household chores, and parenting alone.”
To address these challenges, Marion says that her school has designed a program to bridge the gap.
“We have homework assistance clubs and counselling sessions specifically tailored for children from single-parent families,” Marion says.
However, she emphasises that more support is needed to make these initiatives effective.
Collaboration between teachers and school counsellors plays a crucial role in supporting learners from single-parent households.
“As teachers, we share academic and behavioural observations with counsellors who can provide additional insights and resources,” Marion says. Parent-teacher meetings often include counsellors to ensure parents receive comprehensive support.
Marion believes that professional development is essential for teachers to effectively support diverse family structures.
“We may not fully understand the challenges these learners face,” she admits. “Training teachers to recognise and address the unique needs of children from single-parent households is vital.”
The rise of single-parent families has encouraged educators to adopt more inclusive teaching philosophies.
“In my classroom, I emphasise diversity and respect for all family structures,” Marion says.
“Through discussions and activities, I ensure that every child feels represented and valued.”
