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When a man cries on social media

When a man posts his crying video on social media and he's honest to God about it, he's not chasing clout.

Photo credit: Samuel Muigai | Nation Media Group

A good number of men have been there. Scratch that. They are there. They're shedding bucketloads of tears. But most of these men, who are overcome with emotions and overwhelmed by circumstances, are crying in private. And this is because they know the trolling and abuse that's meted out to men who post crying videos on social media.

However, there are times when some men drop all inhibitions and ego, and open their waterworks in public. It takes tons of strength for a man to record himself while he is most vulnerable and at his lowest moment. And it takes every strength left after he has recorded himself, to post the video on social media.

I think the heaviest weight a man carries is the gadget he's using to record himself in his lowest moment. That gadget carries this man's deepest fears, innermost secrets, and heaviest burdens.

Understanding

When a man posts his crying video on social media, we - especially men - should not shame him. Instead, we should show him understanding.

Understanding doesn't mean we necessarily agree with how he's handling his issues. It just means that we get where he's at and we won't kick him when he's down.

Understanding means we reserve our judgment. It means we're not putting a brother who's down on the dock, but we're giving him room to breathe and recover.

Grace

When a man posts his crying video on social media, we should not show him our fangs and claws. Instead, we should show him grace.

Grace is an undeserved favour. Though we may perceive that our brother should know better and do better, we proffer grace.

Grace comes from a virtuous place. It flows out of the well of brotherly love, to heal the seared soul of a brother.

When a man posts his crying video on social media, he's not selfishly seeking attention. He's sending an SOS. This is a distress signal, sent by a soul that's caught between a rock and a hard place. It's a signal sent by a man who's dying to be rescued.

Distressed men send different signs. Some go mute. Some act normal. Others act too normal. Like, for instance, laughing at the most boring jokes; whereas they're the ones who have a poker face when the entire room is rolling on the floor, when a top comic is cracking ribs.

Kindred soul

When a man posts his crying video on social media, we should not turn him into a meme. Instead, we should turn him into a kindred soul.

Being a kindred soul means we feel our brother. It means that, though we have outside differences, our souls are intertwined. And souls that are intertwined give each other CPR.

Being kindred souls means we empathise with each other. It means we have a heart transplant and change our stony hearts with hearts that break for what's breaking our brother's spirits.

Salvation

When a man posts his crying video on social media and he's honest to God about it, he's not chasing clout. Instead, he's being pursued by forces and spirits that are out to kill him, and he needs salvation.

Sometimes salvation means reaching out and listening. Just being available. Other times it means providing expert help.

There are times the forces and spirits chasing a man are alien to him. Like the possessed man in the Biblical narrative, who lived among the tombs in the region of the Gadarenes, he may not know the evil plan of the legions that are against him. And this means other men ought to save him from his tormentors or lead him to the Saviour.