Why I’m planning for monies and not ‘honies’ this year
I also resolved to do more online courses in my free time, instead of watching Netflix or scrolling through social media.
What you need to know:
- “Time to spruce up my CV,” I said to myself, “and try get a job; because the hustle is overrated.” 20 years ago, I had said ‘no’ to the USA, and was terrified that in 20 years to come, I would be poor (now I’m just broke, which is a temporary state) and too ill to even hustle for my daily bread, as I have been doing these past 15 months.
I am back in the city of Nairobi, finally, to find what fury January holds.
My new favourite cousin Josh Safara left to go back to New York, his sunny sister Angie back to California, and Margie back to her rich hubby (he’s in ‘solar’) in Texas.
And I found myself asking, at 39, if I made a mistake not to go to the USA like them, back when I had a chance at a partial scholarship when I was 20.
But that was back in the year 2004, and like most Kenyans, I was very optimistic.
Life in college was sweet, I had just started things with my first girlfriend Chico – whom I was madly in love with, and was sure I would marry after university, we were going to all sorts of bashes, I had a gig selling space at some media company, my former team Arsenal was invincible in the EPL – and, honestly, that story of washing geriatric butts by day and flipping burgers by night – didn’t appeal to me.
That’s what my now late cousin, George Safari, who went to the USA at 18, told me he was doing for work, and disillusioned me about any dreams of the States.
Yet looking back from the lens of almost 20 years down the line, after that decade of ‘Obako,’ things had started to go decadent, and now after being declared redundant since October 2023 (due to the shrinking economy), things looked dead
It was time for me to sit down and figure out how to stay alive in the year 2025!
Luckily, before leaving for JKIA, my cousin Margie had given me (a miserly) $100 – slipping it into my hand with such spy-like secrecy (I thought it was a $1,000 note).
But Sh13K, at about a thousand a day till ‘end month,’ was okay for my survival.
And I was still on crutches from my Mara accidental fall from the car rooftop, so “planning from home” was the plan.
The first thing was to try and offload my landlady Karen’s acreage in Kiambu.
She had put up a poster on our gate of the land, and I figured out if she thought us, her tenants, can buy the land when we are barely making rent, she must be desperate.
“Sure, I will give you a 5 percent commission,” she said.
She wanted 4 million shillings for the land in question.
The second thing was that Valentine’s weekend was coming up, and now was the time to start planning for that.
I called Mr. Zhao Li, my contact and the proprietor of Gang Dong Mall.
“Happy New Chinese Year, Mr. Safala,” he said, with his geeky humour.
“I need all the contacts of the restaurants that are in Gang Dong, Bwana Lee.”
“You are planning to eat and grow fat as a pig, Maikor?”
“Ha ha ha.”
Nevertheless, he did send me phone numbers – and now I have to sit and make a pitch for them on how to market for couples for the “Long Lovers’ Weekend.”
It could make the difference on whether I get to eat in February or just get into trouble over rent. In the event that I see an employment opportunity, I also resolved to do more online courses in my free time, instead of watching Netflix or scrolling through social media.
“Time to spruce up my CV,” I said to myself, “and try get a job; because the hustle is overrated.” 20 years ago, I had said ‘no’ to the USA, and was terrified that in 20 years to come, I would be poor (now I’m just broke, which is a temporary state) and too ill to even hustle for my daily bread, as I have been doing these past 15 months.
“You also need to put your health front and center, Mike,” I said to the Man in the Mirror. “Exercise more when your leg heals, drink much less, and chase after monies, not honies, in 2025.”
Do you think the Hustler will be able to make it, uh?
