From depths of despair to straight As. My unlikely high school journey

Even as the excitement that came with declaration of the 2023 KCSE results fades away, I feel duty-bound to shed light on my experience in the 8-4-4 curriculum, particularly after I got admission to one of the most reputable girls’ national schools.

They say that experience is the best teacher, well, she has taught me her fair share of lessons.

Upon receiving my admission letter to one of the paragons of academic prowess in Kenya, you can imagine the ecstasy that came not just to me, but my entire social network as well.

Friends and family were proud to associate with me. The wild celebrations only intensified my urge to succeed, as I felt everyone was watching my every move.

I enrolled in the highly reputed national school with hopes and expectations galore. Seeing as the school consistently posted impressive KCSE results, I was certain that when my time came in four years, I too would be counted among the top performers in the country.

I instantly began to toil, with a resolute commitment to realise my dream of excellence. It registered to me that I was not just the best candidate in my primary school, but among the best nationally in the KCPE examination.

There I was, an industrious learner amidst the academic cream of the nation, enrolled at one of the most respected learning institutions in the nation.

My voracious appetite for learning was, however, cut short rather quickly. An intoxicating culture of unhealthy rivalry came into play.

I arrived at the school as an unmitigated embodiment of innocence, expecting a conducive learning environment provided by supportive staff and colleagues. How painfully shocking it was to experience disregard and apathy instead!

Learning was very inimical. In the overcrowded classes, most teachers only moved with those who were quick to grasp concepts, shunning the rest of us. The heavy congestion in the school stretched every facility in the school to the limit. The dining hall, dorms, classes, library, laboratories, name it.

It was a far cry from the imagination I had when I received my admission letter.

In addition, making and sustaining friendships proved to be a terribly difficult task. The harmful competition amongst students spread like bad flu. The whole school system was focused on a single mission of nationwide recognition as academic champions.

It became a battle of survival for the fittest. Friends turned on each other all for the sake of attaining examination success, a hallmark of the 8-4-4 system.

Behind the obscure veneer of prime education lies this horrendous evil. My indulgent disposition saw me succumbing to the waves of negativity in the school.

Read: Girl who dropped out of Kenya High School to become a hawker excels in KCSE

I vividly remember when at the peak of my academic stardom, my pedestal was brought tumbling down by the derogatory remarks and false accusations from classmates that quickly morphed into incessant belittling.

Immense bullying, mockery and isolation became the order of the day for me, fuelled by the overwhelming academic contest. The school environment caused true friendships to fade into mere abstracts of imagination and a potent hatred towards me formed roots in my colleagues' hearts.

I found myself fighting back against unfounded gossip and accusations spread by bullies who were upset by my natural eloquence and confident demeanor.

I was, out of nowhere, labelled the "city girl" who did not want to mingle with others, simply because I was brought up in Nairobi.

Out of the mudslinging by a few, the whole class shunned me, and I could not even find anyone to team up with for group assignments.

I felt lonely and unwanted.

My dream school was rapidly tarnishing into a horrific night terror right before my eyes. The disparaging escalated, resulting in the deterioration of the esteem with which I regarded myself.

This translated into a nosedive in my academic performance, dealing a hard blow to my determination to excel.

I was not looking to succeed anymore, but to survive the hell that was brewing around me. To add insult to injury, as the walls around me caved in, my class teacher who was tasked to be a parental figure for us in school neglected me as though I were inferior.

The hope I held onto so tenaciously within my heart dissipated. After putting up with the disappointment for two-and-a-half years, I was determined to leave the school, a decision that was as difficult as it was imperative for my well-being.

After ceaselessly pushing my parents to transfer me from the school, they finally gave in and began to find sense in my complaints.

I was no longer the daughter they knew, the tenacious girl who yearned to broaden the horizons of her mind, but a dejected shell of her former self.

It took so much for me to believe the fact that I was leaving my dream school.

I was left downcast beyond explicability. My parents transferred me to a small, mundane private school where I was enrolled as a day scholar.

Read: He walked to school with an empty box, came home victorious

A fall from grace, some would call it. Still, the fire in me hadn’t died out. After all, with all the rejection and disapproval I faced from 'friends and family' upon leaving the school, I was compelled to make it up to them.

Initially, I was driven on by an inconsolable indignation within me, stemming from the entire ordeal at my former school. I was terribly vengeful and I strove to triumph in my KCSE and trample over all who tormented me at my former school and those who doubted me.

However, I came to the realisation that the more I sought revenge, the further away I drifted from achieving healing from the traumatic experience.

I reconciled with the fact that I had lost my dream school, but not my dream. And so, I resolved to begin on a clean slate, choosing to forgive those who wronged me and starting to work for my own betterment.

The schools were polar opposites of each other, with one being totally equipped with state-of-the-art laboratories and libraries and the other a pitiful shell.

Nevertheless, I was resolute in my pursuit of excellence. I was perpetually motivated by my will to inspire any student out there with a story of my ilk. It demanded great sacrifice on my end.

Many were the times that I doubted my own potential and capabilities, but I eventually pulled through thanks to my loyal support system and the healthy ambience provided by my new school.

I had to reassure my parents that their having to readjust their daily routines to accommodate me was going to be worth it.

More significantly, I sensed that I would not achieve much without a firm belief in my God, who was and is unwavering in his faithfulness to me.

My new teachers relentlessly encouraged me and believed in me, even when I did not believe in myself.

Their loyalty through my learning was truly a breath of fresh air, contrasting with my experience at my former school. They were patient, understanding and greatly indispensable.

Against all odds, I attained an A plain grade in my KCSE examination, securing all 84 points and emerging among the best students in the nation.

Can you believe it? A student who society viewed as a failure for exiting a prestigious academic powerhouse to join a nondescript private institution conquering all expectations.

After all the toil, I can now confidently say that my dream to pursue a career in the medical field is valid.

If there is anything I would love to convey to all Kenyan parents, it is that they should consider the well-being of their children in school before the prestige of the schools they are admitted to.

Listen to your children's complaints about their schools and try to put yourself in their shoes.

To the government and school administrators, by all means, please address the unbearable congestion and toxic competition in our schools.

To my fellow students, it is also key to realise that with determination you can succeed anywhere.

You do not necessarily have to be in the top schools in the nation to be among the top performers. Provided you put in the work and have the correct mindset, you will excel whether from the loftiest buildings or the lowest floors.

Let us erode this false mentality that students cannot excel outside reputed schools and, instead, encourage students to work with grit and determination, irrespective of the status of their schools.

Remember, it is not where you are at present, but where you eventually would like to be.