Girdles, stilettos, and other tools of self-torture we buy with our own money
How far would you go ‘to look good’? I wore sneakers to an international panel and still nailed it.
What you need to know:
- I watched my friend suffer all day in a girdle just for a flat tummy, which made me question the painful beauty standards women endure.
- From breathless waist trainers to crippling stilettos, we sacrifice comfort and health for appearance.
- I chose comfort over convention by wearing sneakers to a professional panel, and discovered my performance was better.
If you, as a woman, have never worried—at least twice—about whether your tummy is flat enough, well done! When they count people who are doing well in life, they should count you twice. You should also start a YouTube channel and share, in great detail, the deep revelation that made you realise there is nothing wrong with your stomach.
On Friday, a friend had me in stitches when, in the evening, she sent me a photo of what looked like a tight T-shirt, captioned with the following message:
“Which kind [of] self-inflicted pain [is] this? Since morning, I just had my first breath after removing this girdle. But you needed to see how flat my tummy looked in the fitted blouse I wore, accentuating my feminine features and giving them defined lines! Use two seconds to thank God for your naturally flat tummy,” her message read.
Well, this was not the first time we were having the conversation about flat tummies. Every time I send her photos and videos of what I am eating, she will wonder how I still have a flat tummy after eating ‘all that’. God forbid that I should tell her I am eating anything after 10pm!
“And you still have a flat tummy!” she will say, half threateningly, and half-jokingly.
In short, my friend believes she is being played in this flat tummy business. Maybe she is right because going by our lifestyles, she deserves the flat tummy more!
But on Friday when she said she did not breathe the whole day because of something she bought with her own money and used to tie her stomach, I quickly asked:
“What do you want to do with flat tummy? I give you mine.” She responded with the WhatsApp blue-teared laughing emoji.
That conversation had me thinking about the extent some women go ‘to look good’!
Not too long ago, I was walking along Moi Avenue, in Nairobi, next to the August 7 Memorial Park. In front of me, there was a beautifully dressed woman. The dress she wore had a lot of purple in it, with white polka dots. She was carrying a handbag that looked extremely classy. Her walking speed seemed to reduce, the closer I got to her. At first I thought she was slowing down because she was nearing her destination.
When I got close, I realised she was struggling with the stilettoes she was wearing. They were getting stuck on cracked pavements and wet ground. Her walking style also seemed severed as a result of exhaustion. I do not want to say she was walking in a funny way. Well, I honestly think that babe would have looked equally stunning if she had combined her outfit with a pair of doll shoes.
About a year ago, I was attending an international conference. After I finished dressing, including wearing a pair of heels for ‘seriousness effect’ I remembered I was going to be speaking on a panel about mentally taxing stuff. For my mind to function to full capacity, I needed all the comfort I could get. No way would I be speaking to a sea of media executives while also trying to balance my legs in heels. I know women who can do that – I am just not one of them.
I am sure you have guessed what I paired my very official navy blue pencil skirt and light blue blouse with – a pair of my favourite sneakers. The session turned out great! If I had tried to sit on that panel in an uncomfortable pair of high heels, my output in the discussion would have been affected. What is even better? Soon after getting into the conference hall, I realised that what I was wearing didn’t even matter! It was until I shared a photo of me on that panel with a friend that I remembered heels are a marker of seriousness.
“You wore sneakers to a panel!” she said in horror, and I laughed.
I am nowhere near a fashionista. The few times I try applying lipstick, I eat it with my breakfast, and I usually have no strength to reapply. I have absolutely no intention of walking in the time-honoured footsteps of the fabulous style icon, Iris Apfel. I respect her legacy. However, anything that has discomfort or unnecessary extra work in it, count me out.
The writer is the Research & Impact Editor, NMG, dokoti@ke.nationmedia.com