Goodbye: My column ends but the fight for gender equality continues
This column has been my wailing wall. You read my rage, my grief, my hope—for that, I am eternally yours.
What you need to know:
- My column has reflected years of feminist writing, embracing vulnerability, controversy, and truth; and now I bid farewell to my loyal readers.
- I have been passionate about gender justice; it has been a journey of advocacy, resilience, and engagement, but as I sign off, I'll continue the fight.
This column has been my wailing wall. Much like May Boatwright’s in the movie The Secret Lives of Bees. Whenever May felt overwhelmed by the pain of the world, she would furiously scribble her pain in little notes and tuck them into a wall to symbolically release her emotional pain. I’ve processed some of my heaviest emotions on this column —from boiling rage, suffocating disappointment to mind-numbing grief. And I was okay with that.
When I started writing this column regularly a few years ago, my fervent prayer was that I should never reach a point where I could no longer access indignation about injustices against women and girls. I prayed that gender-based-violence, sexual harassment, female genital mutilation, sexual violence, or molestation would never become normal in my eyes. And I hope that showed.
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“Try not to be too feminist when you write,” a senior editor counselled me years ago.
I couldn’t’ follow that advice. I don’t have a moderate level of feminism to offer the world. This has meant that my opinions have sometimes been quite unpopular, even with my own family and friends. Writing one’s truth can be a lonely and isolating experience, but these are just the hazards of the trade, which I accept. I’ve written about many topics here, sometimes drawing from my own life to drive points home.
Someone once asked, “How can you be so vulnerable in your writing?” It's difficult to achieve authenticity without a generous dose of vulnerability. So, if sharing a bit of my personal story might help someone see themselves in my writing, then I would gladly do so, repeatedly.
I’ve enjoyed the feedback from you—from the supportive emails to the angry ones and the ones who tried to turn me into their therapist to the social media comments that provided interesting perspectives on my writing.
I even enjoyed reading from the reader who repeatedly complained about “G-Spot”, the title of my column, to the public editor. Your collective attention proved to me that even when you did not agree with me, you were not indifferent to my writing.
To everyone I ever told “Why don't you write your own opinion article?” I hope you take up the challenge one day.
My writing here has opened up networks and doors that I would never have thought possible, and I’m grateful for that.
You are reading my last column today. I’m moving on to my next assignment, and I’m looking forward to helping shape the gender discussions in other ways. Thank you once again, dear readers, for allowing me to vent my spleen weekly on these pages. I will stick to my golden rule about goodbyes and keep it as frill-free as possible. To everyone who champions gender equality, Aluta Continua!
The writer has commented on gender and social topics for the past three years. This marks her final column (faith.oneya@gmail.com; @FaithOneya).