I miss my baby so much: A teenage mother's relentless pursuit of education
Veronica Mwende. The university student got pregnant at the age of 19.
What you need to know:
- Veronica Mwende became pregnant at 19 while awaiting her high school exam results, but with her mother's support, she joined university while pregnant.
- Despite facing stigma, stress, and challenges balancing motherhood with studies, she persevered, found support from counselors and fellow mothers.
- She is advocating for inclusive policies to help other teenage mothers access education.
Veronica Mwende was excited when she sat for her Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education (KCSE) exams in 2019. It marked the end of an era and the beginning of a new journey. However, even before she could settle at home awaiting her KCSE results, she realised that she was pregnant at the age of 19.
This discovery sent her into a panic. She could not believe that she would soon become a mother, which was the last thing on her mind at that moment. She feared facing her guardian, a secondary school teacher, who had supported her education. The entire village had high hopes for her, and many people looked forward to her achieving outstanding results in the KCSE exams.
"I didn't know where to start or how I would face my guardian," she tells nation.africa.
"He had a lot of hope in me, and I thought he would be very disappointed. I also didn't know how to approach my mother and grandmother. It was the hardest period of my life."
Veronica was raised by her grandmother in Wote, Makueni County, while her single mother hustled in Nairobi to support her and her siblings. Upon discovering her pregnancy, Veronica moved to Nairobi to live with her mother. Within a short time, her mother noticed her condition.
Veronica told her mother the truth, and although her mother seemed somewhat disappointed, she fully supported her throughout the pregnancy, something Veronica is forever grateful for. However, the man responsible for the pregnancy abandoned her, which destabilised her mentally and caused her stress.
"He abandoned me after delivery," she says. "He said he would only marry me if I agreed to discontinue my studies. The KCSE results were out, and I had scored a B. I wanted to go to university and study nursing. I turned down his proposal, and that's how he abandoned us.”
Friendly and hospitable
Embracing her mother's advice, Veronica reported to Maseno University, where she was admitted to pursue a Bachelor of Science in Public Health and Community Development. She was heavily pregnant when she reported as a First-Year student. Her mother refused to entertain the thought of deferring her studies until after she delivered.
Initially, she admits to being scared of how her fellow students would treat her. However, they treated her with love, tenderness, and care.
"My colleagues were very friendly and hospitable to me," she recalls. "They ensured I never went hungry and most of the time bought me juice and snacks. Whenever I fell ill, they would rush me to the university clinic for a check-up. I really felt loved and appreciated."
As fate or luck would have it, she delivered after the university broke for the long holiday. She regrets, however, that the university resumed only two weeks after the delivery of her baby, before she had fully recovered.
"I returned to Maseno for my studies and left the baby with my mom," Veronica recounts. "I was still weak, but I needed to continue with my studies. I thank God my mom was very supportive."
Back at the university, things were not as rosy as before. Most colleagues she met asked her where the baby was. Some thought she had aborted the baby, which bothered her a lot. This, she says, greatly impacted her mental health, forcing her to seek help from the university counselling office, where she met an "angel" she terms as Godsend.
"I poured out my heart to the counsellor and told her my story," she says. "It turned out that I was suffering from early motherhood stress that comes with early births. She gave me the hope that I badly needed. After the session, I saw the potential that I had in me."
This interaction with the counsellor would open even more doors for her after she was connected with more than 100 mothers in the institution. This helped her accept herself and realise she was not alone in young motherhood.
Dealing with excessive milk and missing the opportunity to bond with her baby, she adds, remains a challenge.
"The distance, too, has been very challenging," she says. "Sometimes I miss my baby so much. When I call and hear him crying, it stresses me so much. Many times, I cry a lot."
A teenage mother. To deal with the plight of such mothers who aspire to continue their education in tertiary institutions, Veronica is spearheading a petition to compel the institutions to admit and provide comprehensive care to them.
According to the Kenya Demographic and Health Survey (KDHS) Report 2022 and the National Council on Population and Development (NCPD) in 2023, 15 per cent of adolescent girls in Kenya are pregnant or already teen mothers. Shockingly, two out of five teenagers in the country find themselves in the same situation, struggling with financial constraints, social stigma, and limited educational and employment opportunities.
Cases of teenage pregnancies have been on the rise, with data painting a grim picture. In the first five months of 2023, a total of 110,821 pregnancies were recorded among adolescents aged between 10 and 19 years.
To deal with the plight of teenage mothers who aspire to continue their education in tertiary institutions, Veronica is spearheading a petition seeking to compel technical institutions and other institutions of higher learning to admit and provide comprehensive care to teen mothers. This initiative encompasses essential support that seeks to help teenage mothers overcome the financial struggles and social stigma resulting from the burden of unplanned parenthood.
"Many teen moms do not have access to contraceptives, counselling, and sexual reproductive health information," she says. "They also can't access education as they lack the resources. My petition seeks to have the government help them with these necessities."
So far, she has collected 70 signatures against the target of 2,000 before they are presented to the ministries of education and health for action.
Apart from pushing for the petition, Veronica is also a member of Nguvu Collective in Kenya, a social impact and international development organisation that supports emerging leaders from marginalised communities to create deep social impact through advocacy training and extensive campaign support.
Social change campaign
Through Nguvu Collective, she is spearheading a formidable social change campaign on an issue that impacts scores of teen mothers like her, among them the lack of inclusivity in enabling teen mothers to access education.
Her work, she says, is helping to inspire fellow teenage mothers at Maseno University and others in universities and colleges to stand up for their rights and advocate for their needs.
"As a Nguvu Change Leader, Veronica is emerging as a force to reckon with and as a representative of the voices of scores of other teen mothers in the country," says Durga Nandini, Co-Founder of Nguvu Collective. "After we train her on transformative leadership, she, together with others, have launched powerful campaigns on the lack of an enabling ecosystem for teen mothers to become a part of Kenya's education system."
As the world marks Mother's Day, Nandini notes that it is our collective responsibility to bring the stories of teen mothers to centre stage and ensure they are not discriminated against.
Veronica urges teenage mothers not to lose hope but to take it as a stepping stone to better things in life.
"I appeal to teen mothers to accept that they are young moms," she concludes. "They need not feel ashamed about it, as there is nothing they can do to reverse the situation. Being a young mother is not the end of the world. Being in this situation should not make them rush into marriage."
