Memorable sleepovers: Rekindling the magic of time well spent, connection and fun
Two young women in the kitchen.
What you need to know:
- You can imagine my excitement when my friend, Helen, called last Wednesday to arrange her first visit to my house and we agreed on a sleepover!
- To make the sleepover fun, I created a rough plan of something unforgettable I wanted Helen and I to do together.
Sleepovers were a source of excitement in my younger years. The unbridled laughter, the illusion of limitless time and the extra-bonding that such closeness brings is blissful. Spending a night with friends as they unsuccessfully taught me how to apply make-up was a joy. However, time passed quickly – we all got busy, my close friends moved towns and countries, and seasons of life changed. Nowadays I have to contend with bonding with close friends over lunch or coffee.
You can imagine my excitement when my friend, Helen, called last Wednesday to arrange her first visit to my house and we agreed on a sleepover! Helen and I share a close bond. A friend recently remarked about our connection, saying, "…unreal how that connection just happened…” and he was absolutely right. It is impossible for me to fully capture the beginnings of my friendship with Helen.
And that right there is our first ‘sleepover starter pack,’ especially, if like me, it has been eons since you last hosted one. Make sure that the person you are inviting to your house is someone you get along with at a deeper level, and you are comfortable with them seeing even those details you consider private. At some point, Helen asked me, “Who is this [in a photo with you] that looks like Onyeka Onwenu?” She was looking at ‘the wall of fame photos’ on my bedroom wall. That question opened a conversation about some of my deepest dreams – a conversation I was comfortable having with her because we are close enough. In summary, to be sure that you fully enjoy that sleepover, ensure the person you invite is someone you are comfortable with physically, emotionally and psychologically. That way, you will focus on enjoying their company, not communicating boundaries.
To make the sleepover fun, I created a rough plan of something unforgettable I wanted Helen and I to do together. I mean, there is the general flow of things during a sleepover – chatting for a long time and maybe watching a movie together. But if you want to make a special memory for that sleepover, it might be good to think through some ideas. In my case, Helen is Nigerian and if a Nigerian came to my house and left without cooking jollof, that would be tragic! When she arrived, we made a trip to the supermarket as I showed her a bit of my hood. The cashier, as we were winding up payment, asked me, “Mlijifunzia wapi Kiswahili?” She was puzzled and wanted to know where I learned the Kiswahili I was speaking to her. Well, Helen has always claimed me as one of her people, a Kenyan Nigerian, so I should not have been surprised by the attendant’s question.
I did not have the heart to tell the cashier that I am Kenyan so I just laughed and completed the payment. We got back home and chatted heartily in the kitchen as Helen changed simple ingredients into complex Nigerian dishes! That was a truly satisfactory bonding experience. If you are looking to make that sleepover memorable, look for something unusual but fun you both can do together.
The final tip is, as much as possible, consider value alignment. What binds Helen and I so closely together is that we are both practising Christians. Despite the fact that we come from different countries and cultures, our ideologies are strongly organised around our Christian faith. With Helen around, I did not have to worry about explaining to her my devotion time – I simply locked the bedroom door and told her I needed to pray for an hour. This I reciprocated during her early morning devotion when she woke me up to join her, but I have to admit that I was half asleep at the beginning. While it is true that if you host someone for a sleepover you will have to change a few things in your routine, it will probably be more fun if you do not have to overhaul your entire existence.
My sleepover last weekend was fulfilling – it was a good opportunity for me to deepen my connection with Helen, learn more organically about her culture and just have fun! What do you do to make your sleepovers fun and memorable?
The writer is the Research & Impact Editor, NMG ([email protected]).
