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One girl’s sad story: Why we should rein in rights abuse
What you need to know:
- Abby is a 23-year-old mother of a two-month-old baby girl.
- Abby is an orphan who has had a rough life made more difficult by the death of her mother, about 11 years ago.
- The attackers not only impregnated her, but they also infected her with HIV.
Listening to her giving the story of her young life, it is difficult not to fathom the anger and bitterness that almost defines her at this moment.
She does not hide the fact that indeed, she is angry and that the anger is deep. What she does not say, however, is that should this anger fail to be managed somehow, it would explode and could do so on an unintended and innocent target.
But as I let her speak on- uninterrupted-only chipping in with the occasional nod and smile when she says something laced with humour, I notice that the anger begins to slowly dissipate.
Abby is a 23-year-old mother of a two-month-old baby girl. She speaks lovingly of her baby. The young woman, with a beautiful dark face, natural short black hair and a captivating smile, looks much younger than her years. She looks 16.
“When she came here, she looked 15-years older. Although she was heavily pregnant, it was clear that there were underlying issues that had given her that older and haggard look,’’ says one of her hosts at a safe house where she now lives with her baby.
This is her story. Abby is an orphan who has had a rough life made more difficult by the death of her mother, about 11 years ago. Her single mother died from complications of a stroke, leaving her and her two brothers to live in destitution.
Experience seizures
The pain of watching her mother’s body being lowered into the grave was too much for her to bear. She collapsed. She came to hours later and was to contend with the fact that the fainting would become a constant feature and part of her life.
Every so often, she would experience seizures that would put her down, irrespective of where she was. She was to later learn from doctors that she was epileptic — a condition of the central nervous system that is characterised by recurrent seizures.
Despite her sickness, Abby had to look for ways to fend for herself and sometimes for her 14-year-old brother, given that their grandmother — the closest of her relatives apart from her elder brother who, like her, struggles to make ends meet-has rejected her — which she attributes more to the stigma attached to her condition.
The turnaround in her life happened early in the year. She had spent some hours early one morning looking for some manual jobs to do on farms within her locality and was lucky to get some in the neighbourhood. About four other people were doing similar work on the farm —all men — but she says each appeared to mind their own business.
“I had only done a bit of digging, for less than an hour, when an attack (epileptic seizure) struck. I am not sure for how long I was unconscious but when I came to, I was in a thicket, alone, in pain and I could not even find my jembe,’’ Abby recalls, with tears welling up in her eyes. “I did not know where I was, or what was happening to me because my whole body was aching. I thought I was experiencing a bad dream.’’
Epileptic seizure
It took her long to realise that she had been gang-raped, although the evidence was there, staring at her in the form of her soiled clothes and blood that had caked all over her lower body.
“My first reaction was to run home and clean myself before my grandmother returned to find me in such a situation,”
“I was afraid she would chase me from home and blame me for the situation I found myself in,” Abby remembers, this time, allowing tears to flow freely on her smooth puffy cheeks.
The truth and reality of her whole situation-hit her a few weeks later. When she experienced the epileptic seizure while working in that shamba on the fateful day, the men working alongside her, carried her over to the thicket and gang-raped her.
Today, no one has taken responsibility for the brutal attack, neither does she know who her attackers were. But it is evident is the incident left her angry and bitter.
However, and sadly, the violation, abuse and indignity she was subjected to on this day will live with her, as her attackers move from one girl and woman to another perpetrating their criminality and most likely getting away with it. But it is evident is that the attack has left her angry and bitter.
The attackers not only impregnated her, but they also infected her with HIV. So today, Abby has to learn how to live with her epileptic condition, HIV/Aids and take care of her newborn baby.
“I love my baby very much although I got her through what I consider the most traumatic experience of my life,” the young woman says, adding that her little girl has given her “the reason to live again and look forward to a better life”.
Gender-based violence
To realise “this better life,’’ Abby says she needs help to reconstruct her life.
“My ambition and focus in life is to get a small place where I can live with my baby and little brother.
“My happiest moment will be when I will be able to independently fend for my baby, take my brother and myself to school. That is my dream,” Abby, who aspires to study catering, says.
The young woman was rescued from her miserable state by local administrators in Nakuru after she reached out to an elder.
The management of a Nairobi shelter, which houses girl survivors of sexual and gender-based violence (SGBV), human trafficking and child labour, took her in and is giving her solace with her baby.
The Shelter also ensures she gets emotional support through counselling.
As Kenya marks 16 Days of Activism when rights campaigners, organisations and governments speak and focus on funding and empowerment to prevent and respond to SGBV, the most vulnerable in the society such as Abby must be taken care of.
The deadly Covid-19 pandemic has seen an unprecedented rise in violence against women and girls globally.
The huge number of underage girls who have been subjected to sexual abuse and other forms of violence as well as teenage pregnancies in Kenya points to the need for the country to do more if SGBV is to be eliminated.
And as Gender Cabinet secretary Margaret Kobia observed during Monday’s launch of the I6 Days of Activism, accountability, enforcement of legislation and policies is critical, and so is the need to increase and improve quality of essential GBV services.