The weight of December: Single mothers and the Christmas they can’t afford
A mother with her child on Christmas Day.
What you need to know:
- As Nairobi lights up for Christmas, thousands of single mothers across Kenya face heightened financial and emotional stress. Rising prices, low incomes, and solo parenting turn the festive season into a period of anxiety rather than celebration.
- From budgeting months in advance to taking on multiple informal jobs, single mothers like Veronica, Joyce, and Teresia struggle to shield their children from the harsh realities of poverty during Christmas. The pressure to meet social and family expectations weighs heavily.
For many single mothers, survival—not celebration—defines December, highlighting the urgent need for economic and psychosocial support
The fairy lights are going up across Nairobi's shopping malls. Christmas carols drift from storefronts. Children press their faces against shop windows, pointing at toys and new clothes. But for thousands of single mothers across Kenya, the festive season brings not joy, but a familiar knot of anxiety in the stomach.
For Veronica Mwende, Joyce Mwikali, and Teresia Njeri, Christmas is less a celebration than a financial and emotional obstacle course—one they must navigate alone while trying to shield their children from the harsh realities that define their daily existence.
Veronica's journey into single motherhood began at 19, just after she completed her Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education examinations. The pregnancy was unplanned. The father disowned it. The mental anguish that followed nearly broke her. “I had to contend with being a single mother after being abandoned by the man responsible for the pregnancy. It mentally disturbed me,” she tells Nation.Africa.
The burden fell squarely on her shoulders and those of her own mother, who took care of the baby while Veronica pursued her education at Maseno University. She graduated last year with a Bachelor of Science in Public Health and Community Development. She now has a job, but the struggles persist.
“Christmas is a beautiful season, but it also comes with a lot of pressure, especially financial pressure,” she says. “I want my child to enjoy the celebrations like every other child, but sometimes the money is simply not enough. There is always that desire to give your child the best—new clothes, a special meal, maybe a small outing—and at the same time, you still have your own needs, which you often end up pushing aside just to make sure your child is okay.”
The seasonal spike in prices compounds everything. Food becomes expensive. Clothes cost more. Transport fares shoot up. “As Christmas approaches, everything becomes costly all at once,” Veronica explains. “To manage this, I try to shop in bulk early before prices hike. I also buy Christmas clothes much earlier in the year when they are more affordable. Anything financial, I plan for it in advance to avoid the December pressure.”
This year, she created a budget for herself and her child early, setting the money aside to avoid misusing it. She has also limited travel during peak days because transport and entertainment costs can be overwhelming. But it is not just money that weighs heavily. There is the emotional toll of doing everything alone.
“Christmas is very family-centred, so as a single mum you sometimes feel the weight of doing everything alone—planning, providing, entertaining the child, and still trying to stay cheerful. It can be mentally exhausting,” she admits. “What helps me is accepting that I do not have to compete with anyone. I remind myself that Christmas is about presence, not presents. I focus more on creating memories than spending money.”
Then there are the expectations from relatives and society—the gatherings to attend, the financial contributions to make. “Sometimes you simply cannot afford it. I have learned to communicate my limits politely and stick to my budget without guilt. In the end, I cope by planning, budgeting strictly, and focusing on what truly matters,” she says.
In Nairobi South, Joyce runs a salon that has seen better days. As a single mother of two, she watches the Christmas season approach with dread rather than anticipation.
“The Christmas season is here and I do not have any money on me. The business has been so down and people are not coming to the salon,” she tells Nation.Africa. “I actually do not know where I will get money to celebrate Christmas. My children need new clothes and shoes as is the norm and need to be taken out on the big day to enjoy various games as has been the norm, yet I do not have the money.”
The harsh economic times have forced her to diversify. She now works as a domestic worker, washing clothes and doing household chores three or four times a week. She has also ventured into selling second-hand clothes, but that business too has slumped. “People have no purchasing power,” she says simply.
Joyce's burden extends far beyond her two children. Her diabetic mother depends entirely on her. Her two brothers are jobless and also look to her for support. “As I make plans for Christmas, I have to put into consideration my mother and my brothers who are jobless. I have to buy my mother a new dress and make sure she gets the special diet required due to her diabetic condition. This is in addition to making sure that my two children are also well taken care of this festive season. It is a burden that I have to shoulder all by myself as I do not have anyone to assist me,” she says.
Her appeal is direct: “Single mothers need a financial boost to expand their businesses or start one for those who have none. They also need psychological support as many of them are undergoing a lot of mental anguish that has impacted on their mental health.”
For Teresia, Christmas arrives at the worst possible time. She recently lost her job as a domestic worker and has been unable to find another. “I am penniless and this is worrying me so much. I do not know what to tell my children and even how to approach them. I have been trying to get a new job for the better part of this year but have not been successful,” she tells Nation.Africa.
For seven years now, she has raised her three children alone after her husband died following a short illness. The memories of what Christmas used to be make the present harder to bear. “We used to go for holidays during the Christmas season. It was always enjoyable and we normally looked forward to it,” she recalls. “My late husband normally provided everything for us. I feel bad that I cannot treat them as their father used to. Ever since he died, we have never as a family managed to enjoy nyama choma during Christmas as we used to.”
Her children need dresses and shoes. Her daughter needs to visit a salon. Teresia has no idea where the money will come from. She has resorted to roaming the neighbourhood as a mama fua, looking for casual laundry jobs. On a good day, when she is lucky enough to find work, she makes between Sh150 and Sh400—barely enough to sustain a family of four.
The stories of Veronica, Joyce, and Teresia reflect a much larger national reality. According to the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics 2022 data, approximately 25 per cent of households in Kenya are headed by women, many of them single mothers. About 15 per cent of Kenyan women aged 15-49 are single mothers, with urban areas recording higher prevalence—Nairobi at 30 per cent and Mombasa at 28 per cent. In Nyanza and Western regions, rural areas have 25 and 23 per cent of women being single mothers respectively.
The economic picture is equally stark. About 65 per cent of single mothers work in the informal sector, and their average monthly income is 40 per cent lower than that of married women. Over 70 per cent of single mothers in Sub-Saharan Africa engage in informal labour, often without any social protections.
Kenya is not an outlier. UN Women estimates that 13 per cent of households globally are headed by single mothers. In Sub-Saharan Africa, Unicef data shows that 32 per cent of children live with a single mother. Countries like South Africa and Botswana have some of the highest rates, with 40 to 50 per cent of households headed by single mothers.
Behind these numbers are women like Veronica, Joyce, and Teresia—planning budgets months in advance, taking on multiple jobs, stretching every shilling, and still lying awake at night wondering how to make Christmas feel like Christmas for their children.
