Why is talking about periods still so hard?
Premenstrual Syndrome refers to the physical and emotional symptoms many women experience about a week before their periods
What you need to know:
- There is discretion when it comes to periods. For example, I hope my father will not read my column this week. However, there is a big difference between privacy and shame.
- I have been incredibly lucky that I have always had at least one person I could trust enough to confide in regarding any period issues that I have – mostly about the pain.
Last week, my childhood friend, Debbie, sparked an engaging two-day conversation in our small WhatsApp group. “Does there ever come a time when women fully understand their bodies when it comes to PMS?” she asked, clearly frustrated by the recurring discomfort.
PMS, or Premenstrual Syndrome, refers to the physical and emotional symptoms many women experience about a week before their periods. Debbie's question opened a can of worms, leading to hours of sharing stories about the challenges we face before our menstrual cycles begin.
“One time, I had crazy cravings for chicken from a popular joint during PMS,” Debbie, who lives in Malindi, said. The twist? That particular outlet does not exist in Malindi! Her confession sent Josie and me into fits of laughter. Josie shared how a sudden, overwhelming desire for chocolate nearly made her cry. We also got real about the tough stuff that comes with PMS—like insomnia.
You know those nights when you could down an entire jug of chamomile or magnolia tea, and sleep is still like, “Nah, not tonight, sis.” But guess what? You still got to drag yourself out of bed, bright-eyed, pretending like all is well. And let’s not forget those mood swings that skyrocket to ‘outer space’ levels. Yet somehow, you’ve got to act like it’s just another picture-perfect day, smiling at everyone.
Periods are such an interesting part of growing up. As we get older, we figure out better ways to handle the dramas that come with each cycle. But, if Debbie’s question is anything to go by, it’s clear we might never fully crack the code—maybe it’s one of those things you keep learning with time.
When I was 21, I used to moderate a monthly film forum at Goethe Institut. The forums were held every first Monday of the month and brought together big shots in Kenya’s motion picture world. The sessions started in the evening, about 6pm. As bad luck would have it, on one particular Monday, my period showed up just shortly before start time. I had not factored in the pain, so I did not have any painkillers in my bag. My boss was a man and I was not comfortable at all having that conversation of “Sir, I have terrible cramps and I cannot moderate the session today.”
I prayed that the world would end so that I wouldn’t have to explain why I couldn’t moderate the session. I was in the toilet all this time. A lady walked in, a filmmaker. She seemed to read my face like a book either from experience or intuition. As soon as I nodded to her question of whether I was having period troubles, she whipped out painkillers from her bag and her bottle of water. She gave me my first lesson on period readiness – besides having a standby pad in my bag, I should always have a dose of painkillers. The painkillers eased the pain and I was able to moderate the session.
There’s more to periods than what meets the eye (aka the blood). That’s why every time I research or write about period poverty, it breaks my heart. Many young girls are forced to carry the weight of outdated cultural beliefs that make them feel ashamed of something so natural. The problem with associating periods with shame is that it encourages silence about things that really matter. Blame culture, socialisation or just fear. Well, I get that there is discretion when it comes to periods. For example, I hope my father will not read my column this week. However, there is a big difference between privacy and shame.
I have been incredibly lucky that I have always had at least one person I could trust enough to confide in regarding any period issues that I have – mostly about the pain. It was one of my close friends who even recommended a gynecologist for me to see, to rule out any underlying causes of period pain. Data shows that globally, between five and 15 per cent of girls miss school or work because of painful periods. Luckily, pain for me hasn’t been that extreme.
Well, let’s just say if you are female and can’t comfortably and authentically talk about period struggles with your two girl besties at the very least, you should probably find new friends.
The writer is the Research & Impact Editor, NMG ([email protected]).
