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A Tinder romance, an 'unwanted' child and a Sh172,000 monthly upkeep demand

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A Kenyan woman and a German man who met on Tinder in 2020 are now in court over a child support dispute.

Photo credit: File

A romance between a Kenyan woman and her German boyfriend that began on the popular online dating site Tinder just five months after they met has turned into a legal battle, with the foreigner claiming his intentions for the relationship were purely for pleasure and not for procreation.

Documents filed in a Nairobi court reveal that the once-happy lovebirds are now tearing each other down in court proceedings, with each blaming the other for the collapse of their relationship.

The lovebirds, AWK (Kenyan) and JB (German), are no longer speaking the same love language, according to their filings, after their relationship hit a rough patch.

Court documents show the pair met on social dating site Tinder in 2020 before their love blossomed five months later, leading to the conception and birth of their child a year later.

The German supported his Kenyan partner during and after the pregnancy, providing her with between Sh25,000 and Sh35,000 monthly after the birth of their child, who is now two years old.

In addition to the monthly financial support, the foreigner also rented a one-bedroom apartment for the woman.

However, their relationship soured.

In her court papers, the woman blamed the German for the breakdown of the relationship, accusing him of being abusive.

“The German was verbally abusive to me. He is married with children. His wife would constantly threaten me through social media platforms,” the woman said in her court filings through her lawyer, Elkana Mogaka.

She has also accused the German of abandoning her and the child by refusing to take responsibility for their care. The woman wants the court to order the foreigner to provide for their child's needs, pay for her house and the maid who looks after the child.

She has detailed her monthly demands of Sh172,000 to include Sh20,000 for food, Sh25,000 for rent, Sh20,000 for daycare, Sh20,000 for shopping, Sh15,000 for clothing, Sh40,000 for medical expenses, Sh15,000 for house help, and additional costs for utilities such as water, electricity, gas, garbage, and internet at Sh16,500.

According to her, the foreigner has been irresponsible and she wants the court to intervene by compelling the man to provide for the child's basic needs such as shelter, food, clothing, and health care, as well as secondary needs such as internet access.

“I have been there all along for the child since birth. I therefore pray that this court compels the defendant to contribute towards the child’s maintenance as stipulated above,” she said through Mr Mogaka.

AWK said the German has two known assets in Kenya and an apartment in Nairobi that generates approximately Sh200,000, along with other properties at the Coast.

“The Plaintiff avers that the defendant has an obligation under the Children’s Act to maintain the issue (child) of our relationship. This court has jurisdiction to determine this matter, the same being in respect of the rights and welfare of children,” said the woman.

AWK is also seeking a judgment against the defendant for an order granting her legal custody of the child and structured access rights for the foreigner.

She is also seeking a declaration that the defendant has parental responsibility for the children from their relationship.

“I pray for a maintenance order requiring the defendant to make periodic financial payment, as the court shall deem fit, to the Plaintiff in respect of the maintenance of the said issues. The monthly maintenance fee to be deducted from the defendant’s rental property and the remainder to be remitted to him,” the woman said

In his defence, the German acknowledged meeting the woman on the dating app and having a very brief fling, which resulted in the conception and birth of the child.

However, he explained that he had been very clear with the woman from the beginning regarding the affair.

“I categorically and expressly informed her and we both agreed that our relationship was purely a fling, and no child was to be conceived or born,” he said through Bond Advocates LLP.

JB further clarified in his court filing that he made this decision after observing the woman's alleged strange behaviour.

“To this regard, I used to cater for her birth control and/or contraceptive pills by giving her money to purchase them, pills that she assured me she was taking. She got pregnant, which confirms she never used to take the pills,” he explained.

He said that he did not want to have a child with the woman after noticing she could not control her alcohol consumption and her frequent and excessive requests for money.

“Even worse, I discovered that the plaintiff was taking alcohol while expectant. I got very disturbed about the health of the unborn child, which made our relationship fade away,” he said.

The foreigner, however, maintained that the allegations that he had refused to provide maintenance for the child are false and constitute an act of perjury.

“The truth is that I have been providing for the minor’s needs, and the plaintiff is fully aware that I have been sending her my contribution for the minor’s maintenance since it was born, to date,” he explained.

He also mentioned that in addition to the very up-to-date monthly monetary contributions, he bought and delivered a large bundle of clothes for the child in September last year, weighing approximately 50 kilogrammes, which he believes is sufficient to clothe the child for the next two years until the child turns four.

JB explained that he had managed to provide for the child despite losing his job in 2023.

“I even informed the plaintiff that I didn’t have a job. I have still been struggling and going out of my way to ensure that I send the woman money for the minor’s needs. Most of the time, I even borrow money from my wife and friends to send to the Plaintiff,” he said.

He laments that the plaintiff has become insatiable and has decided to extort him by making unrealistic monetary demands, coupled with threats and blackmail which has caused him depression and suffering and even affected his relationship with his wife.

“The extortion is quite clear in her current prayer to this court to compel me to pay a monthly maintenance fee of over Sh130,000, yet she herself had prepared and shared with me her monthly budget and expenditure of Sh47,000, which I still informed her I couldn’t afford as I am currently unstable financially,” he said, but clarified that he is willing to sweat pay half of the amount.

JB said that parental responsibility should be shared between both parents, so the woman should also contribute half of the budget she claims as her monthly expenses.

“I have a wife and two children, whom I have responsibility to take care of, including the school fees. I, therefore, cannot afford the amounts the plaintiff is trying to extort from me through blackmail and the orders she is seeking from this court,” said the foreigner.

This will come up for pretrial directions on October 16.