For the time that I have been in university, the one thing that has stood out for me is the fact that most of us young men are hurting.
We have resolved to solve issues on our own and that’s why we are stressed up and depressed. It’s the reason we are abusing drugs and committing suicide.
The harsh reality is that, since we have a deficit of sober voices that can speak to us, toxic masculinity is on the rise. We lack mentors and genuine father figures hence nearly all the guidance we are getting on social media, bloggers and other third parties is erroneous. When you visit most male hostels, several things will definitely stand out—clutter, hopelessness and drug abuse.
The sad truth is that over 85 percent of us young men cannot call our parents or guardians just to speak out when things are not okay. The society has showed us that being a man is all about being silent and “kukaa ngumu [staying strong]” as others put it.
Well as for me, young as I am, I have chosen to neglect toxic masculinity and embrace myself first.
I have decided that I will not think of my gender first when I’m in trouble. I will focus on solutions. I have convinced myself that it's okay to cry and let it out when things don’t work out and guess what, it works!
It’s totally in order to call your friend or guardian and let it all out. It’s absolutely acceptable to stay through the night thinking about your life and trying to come up with solutions.
Lastly, to the older men outside there, we are in dire need of your help. We don’t have to shout at the top of our voices to say it. It’s all written in the way we dress, talk, socialise and handle problems. We need mentors.
We might appear like we don’t need it but you will be shocked by the number of lives you will have transformed.
Just because you grew up without mentorship and you made it doesn’t mean that it has to work out that way for everybody.
Jeff, 20, is a diploma student at Mount Kenya University. Are you aged 10-20 and would like to be Nation’s young reporter? Email your 400-600-word article to [email protected]
