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Couple in Murang’a shares handy secrets to their 75-year-old union

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Mzee Erastus Mungai Ndang'ang'i and his wife Elizabeth Wothaya at their home at Ng'araria area in Murang'a county on August 5, 2024.

Photo credit: Joseph Kanyi| Nation Media Group

On May 6, 1949, 21-year-old Erastus Mungai took in Ms Elizabeth Wothaya then aged 19, as his come-we-stay partner.

They were both residing in a colonial village where their parents worked in European-owned plantations in the neighbourhood of the now Thika Town.

They were to later solemnise their union in 1982 in the Catholic faith, and have so far lived together for 75 years.

"I am now 96 years old and my dear wife is 94 years old and we have been blessed by our good Lord with nine children--six sons and three daughters," Mr Mungai told Nation during an interview at his home on August 6, 2024.

Mr Mungai whose memory is still sharp describes his marriage as "fulfilling and rewarding and even if I were to relive my years to find myself courting again, I would still pick Wothaya as my love".

Their union is older than independent Kenya, which attained freedom in 1963.

In Africa, the union is only younger than Liberia which attained independence in 1847, South Africa which was birthed in 1910, Egypt which gained self-rule in 1922 and Ethiopia's case that was written in 1941.

As they respond to our questions at their Kawendo village in Kandara constituency, Murang'a county, they both appraise each other on how they look for the cameras.

Coincidentally, the name of this village in Gikuyu language means "place of love" .

"I don't want my husband to be shamed by taking his photo with a running nose...let him first tidy himself up," Ms Wothaya directs, Mr Mungai with a sly smile blowing his nose and declaring: "Oh well...that's my love for you, my greatness".

Mr Mungai ensures that the headscarf his wife is donning is neatly in place before declaring to her: "You remind me of those days when I left the house unless dressed as per your taste".

He said Ms Wothaya struck his heart with her humble ways, respect for all, peaceful demeanour and tidiness.

Competition and gifts

Mr Mungai says there was competition with some other men "and the thrill that was winning her was something to behold".

He says his first gift to her was a pair of rubber shoes, which she refused to take privately, instead advising him to deliver the parcel through her parents. Unbeknownst to him, Ms Wothaya was only leading him on to start proper courtship since she had been led by her mother to accept Mr Mungai as an ideal suitor.

"He had been profiled to be well educated and spoke good English. He dressed well and he came from a decent," Ms Wothaya reveals.

Mr Mungai says when he delivered the pair of shoes to Ms Wothaya's family, he was advised to go back to his parents and follow the necessary procedures of presenting the gift through elders.

"That is how elders from my side commenced official engagements and within a month, Ms Wothaya was released to live with me as my wife," he recalls with a broad smile.

Schooled up to Class Six, Mungai trained as an orthopaedic before he moved into civil service working as administration clerk.

Ms Wothaya says she only managed to go up to class two "and my father ordered me to drop out saying that was too much education for a girl".

She says "In our days men ignorantly believed that educating girls was useless since their core purpose in families was to get married, cook, bear children and populate the clans".

The young couple commenced the task of building their lives with Mr Mungai working away in major towns and retreating home on Fridays and spending the weekend with his family.

Committed

"Right from the onset I was focused on making my marriage work. I had a lovable wife with strong Christian values. She loved working hard and had brilliant suggestions about how to manage our resources," Mr Mungai says.

Ms Wothaya says her husband had great vision about his family "where he would say priority was attaining basic needs and invest for the future".

That is how they managed to buy tracts of land even when they financed their children's education and by the time he retired, the family had invested in real estate, stocks and in coffee farming.

Ms Wothaya says "What I was fearing was that the alcohol my husband was fond of taking would end up capturing his focus in life but interestingly he all along maintained moderation and would be very romantic when tipsy".

Mr Mungai says his best moments in his current life is when his family gathers home.

"What a feeling when I see my five surviving children aged between 74 and 57 gathered around us...my 24 grandchildren, 18 great-grandchildren and five great-great grandchildren...what else can we desire?" he muses.

Drama

Mr Mungai says their marriage was not without some drama.

"We had our issues, yes...all those things you hear in other families...Ours was a race like any other. Physical fights no, verbal fights yes," he says.

Ms Wothaya interjects saying "I was good and obedient, at all times acknowledging my husband as the undisputed head of the family".

Mr Mungai says alcoholism in marriage need moderation and at all times avoiding excessive indulgence, knowing too well there is no trophy in being intoxicated.

He says he knew the dangers of violence in families "and that is why we developed our own rules, we made a vow to become faithful to our love and marriage and make it stand the test of time".

He says that "I can swear that never did I cheat on my marriage”, his wife saying "it is not even a thought that ever crossed my mind for me to cheat".

Mr Mungai counsels that one gets married because of a need; "stick to that need...There are those issues that will arise, trying to prompt you to be adventurous with alternative loves...Be honest and faithful in both deeds and words, avoid lust...commitment is key".

Long life trick

About the secret to living this long, Mr Mungai says he has never taken doctors seriously when they start censoring people on eating habits.

"I have never taken interest, what is placed before me is what I take. I eat meat, I take cookies and I take sugar. We both take sugar, we are like bees. It is for you to choose who to believe: I, who is 96 years old, or that doctor," he said.

Ms Wothaya’s message is simple: "Work hard when you have the opportunity, don't entirely be a consumer, save for your old age since poverty kills more than diseases do".

Mr Mungai compliments his wife’s thought thus: "Be very much afraid of the future. Secure it when you are young".


mwangilink@g mail.com