In the last letter addressed to himself, the student said it was sad that he had reached to the point of taking his life.
The contents of four suicide notes and interviews with a colleague paint the picture of the distress endured by a university student who reportedly jumped to his death from an 11-storey building in Nairobi.
Benedict Mberesero, 21, a second year student at United States International University (USIU), Nairobi, was found dead on the ground near the gate to the hostels at 4.30am on Wednesday, according to a report by Kasarani Police Station.
Police have ruled the preliminary cause of death as suicide, citing the notes addressed to the victim himself, his mother, brother and sister.
Footage from CCTV cameras retrieved from the premises capture Mberesero, a Tanzanian national, who was pursuing a degree in Arts, Culture and Film, walking from his room on the seventh floor to the 11th floor of the building around 3am on Wednesday.
Security guards at the apartment found his body on the ground in the morning.
Detectives from Kasarani Directorate of Criminal Investigations (DCI) who visited the scene on Wednesday said Mberesero had a fractured skull, broken legs and arms.
Kasarani DCI boss Justus Ombati told Nation.Africa that crime scene investigators had recovered the five-page document which the police are now treating as a suicide note.
“Preliminary investigations reveal that he died by suicide. The CCTV footage and the notes recovered leave no doubt on the cause of death,” Mr Ombati said.
Withdrawing from friends
Police have also recorded a statement from a female student who was among the last people with the student before his death.
An officer familiar with the investigations told Nation the student told investigators Mberesero had shown signs of being disturbed for the last one week.
According to the student, Mberesero, who was known to be jovial, started withdrawing from his social group and spent a lot of his time in the hostel.
In class, Mberesero was also withdrawn and was not as active as he was known to be by fellow students.
If the suicide notes found in his room are anything to go by, Mberesero was a bitter man. In the two-page letter to his mother, Mberesero blamed his parents for his situation.
Troubled home life
He cited an instance in his childhood when his parents had to separate following frequent quarrels between the mother and his father.
Mberesero said he was hurting following the incidents that saw his mother relocate to another town in Tanzania, leaving the children under the care of their father.
Mberesero also regretted that while growing up, his father was too hard on him. “Dad you did not see anything good in me, this hurt me so much,” read the letter addressed to the mother.
In another letter addressed to the sister and brother, Mberesero said it was sad that he could not explain to them the pain that he had undergone as a child and how it had affected him in adult hood.
He asked his siblings to pardon him for taking his life instead of dealing with the life challenges that he was facing.
“I could not bear it anymore,” he wrote.
In the last letter addressed to himself, Mberesero said it was sad that he had reached to the point of taking his life.
He said that he knew that after his death, many people would judge him harshly but that did not matter to him as he had made the decision.
Mberesero said that he knew that taking his life would be interpreted as a sign of cowardice but he was hopeful that he would not end up in ‘hell.’
Police reported they had recovered his personal items including mobile phone, shoes and access cards from the rooftop of the building.
