Beyond motherhood: The silent crisis of fathers’ mental health
The face of a man. Men mostly hide their mental health issues.
What you need to know:
- The research specifically looked at how a father's depression, anxiety, and stress can affect various aspects of their children's growth.
The past one year has been overwhelming for 29-year-old David Wachira*. Ever since his wife announced she was expectant, his mind has been a playing field for stress and anxiety. Now, with twin boys, every day feels like scaling a new, steeper mountain. It isn't just the physical exhaustion from endless nights of pacing and soothing, but also a gnawing dread—how will I provide?
His job barely pays enough to sustain his family, which lives in a one-bedroom house. His wife lost her job just before the twins arrived. They'd planned for one baby, or two, eventually, but not twins. In the quiet of their house, the reality settled like dust: double diapers, double school fees, double hunger.
Then there is the "black tax". David’s mother needs monthly help with her medication, while his younger sister needs university fees. David is the eldest son, the one with a steady, albeit meager, income, and the one expected to be the family’s pillar. He loves his family fiercely, but each request, each need, feels like another brick added to the already crumbling wall around him.
"Sleep is a luxury. The twins tag-team their crying, one settling just as the other starts. I often spend my nights pacing, bouncing and whispering reassurances, while my wife, equally exhausted, snatches the little rest she can. During the day while I am at work, I often find myself staring blankly at my computer, my mind replaying the previous night’s cries while my body aches for just an hour of uninterrupted sleep," he says.
David adds: "I am always anxious. Am I providing enough? Are the babies healthy? Will my wife be okay? I see the strain in her eyes, too, the unspoken worry. I want to be her rock, but I feel like I am crumbling. I try to hide it, to put on a brave face, but sometimes a sudden, irrational anger flares when a twin cries for the tenth time, or when my phone buzzes with another request for money.”
Also read: Men’s hidden struggle
He says sometimes he feels a strange detachment, a state of chronic exhaustion that makes even love for his family feel mechanical. He forces himself to coo and soothe, but inside, he’s hollow.
Friends with older children dismiss his pain with vague promises such as “it gets better.”
“But when will the financial burden lighten? When will the twins sleep through the night? When will I stop feeling like I am drowning in responsibility and exhaustion?”
David longs for one simple thing: to be seen - as a human being—exhausted, scared, and desperately trying to keep his head above water.
David’s situation reflects a global blind spot in how societies perceive fatherhood. A new study reveals that the transition to parenthood is a period of profound psychological vulnerability for men, with cascading effects on their children’s development—yet systemic support remains woefully inadequate.
This challenges society’s traditional focus on maternal well-being alone and shines a much-needed spotlight on the critical role of fathers' mental health in shaping the next generation.
The study, which analysed findings from 48 cohorts, reveals that men in the perinatal period—spanning from conception to 24 months postpartum—are at considerable risk of mental distress. Prevalence rates for clinical depression can reach as high as eight per cent, anxiety up to 11 per cent, and elevated stress between six and nine per cent. This concerning trend has direct implications for children's well-being, challenging the traditional focus solely on maternal pathways.
"For too long, the spotlight has primarily been on mothers' mental health, and while vital, this new evidence underscores that fathers' well-being is equally integral to a child's foundational development," states the report.
The perinatal period is identified as a particularly sensitive time. Prior to conception, paternal mental distress may affect development through epigenetic changes to gametes. Antenatally, a father's distress can reduce his capacity to support his partner, indirectly influencing both maternal mental health and foetal development. Postnatally, mental distress in fathers may diminish their sensitivity and responsiveness in infant interactions, potentially disrupting attachment security.
This research specifically looked at how a father's depression, anxiety, and stress can affect various aspects of their children's growth. The findings suggest that when fathers experience mental distress, it is linked to poorer outcomes in their children's social-emotional, cognitive (thinking and learning), language, and physical development, from the time they are babies all the way through their teenage years. Although the size of these effects was generally small, they were consistently observed across all these different areas. The study's comprehensive nature was strengthened by its inclusion of a large amount of previously unpublished research.
Social-emotional problems
The evidence was particularly strong in showing negative connections between a father's mental distress and a child's social-emotional problems. These problems included issues like internalising feelings such as being withdrawn), externalising behaviours by acting out, difficulties in social situations, experiencing more negative emotions, and having trouble regulating their own feelings. This aligns with existing ideas that a child's social and emotional development is heavily shaped by their interactions with their father and the emotional environment they share. In comparison, the effects on other areas such as a child's thinking and language skills were found to be smaller. This hints that a father's mental distress might have a more direct influence on how a child develops socially.
Interestingly, the study observed a stronger link between a father's mental distress and a child's social-emotional, cognitive, and physical development when the father's mental health issues were assessed after the child was born, rather than during the mother's pregnancy. This might be because infants' brain networks are still developing rapidly, and the father's mental state has a more immediate and noticeable impact on the child as they grow.
These study results carry important implications for public health. They strongly suggest a need for increased investment in programmes and support aimed at improving the mental health of fathers during the period around pregnancy and childbirth. The concept of "Developmental Origins of Health and Disease" emphasises that the first 1,000 days of a child's life are incredibly important for their long-term health and risk of future illnesses. Therefore, providing support for fathers' mental well-being during this critical period is paramount for giving children the best possible start in life.
Proposed solutions include standardised screening for mental distress in fathers during pregnancy and postnatally, conducted by health professionals such as antenatal and maternal/child health nurses, obstetricians, and general practitioners. Concurrently, children could be routinely screened for developmental delays.
Other studies have shown that fathers' mental well-being and the strength of their co-parenting relationships significantly influence a child's development. Studies indicate that children with sensitive and supportive fathers tend to develop better social skills and language abilities irrespective of their socioeconomic background, race, or ethnicity.
Furthermore, research highlights that when fathers experience mental illness, their children face a heightened risk of developing behavioural and emotional challenges. The severity of this risk is comparable to situations where mothers experience mental illness. Research also reveals that fathers who experience increasing levels of distress report being less consistent in setting and enforcing behavioural expectations and limits for their children. By the time their children reach eight or nine years old, these fathers also exhibit less warmth and greater hostility towards them.
Moreover, fathers struggling with poorer mental health often report feeling less effective and confident in their parenting roles. They tend to be more critical, less patient, and less consistent in their parenting behaviours. They also spend less time with their children, are less likely to engage with their child's school or early education services, and feel less confident assisting with schoolwork.
