How artificial intelligence is replacing parents and driving kids to self-harm
With over 7o per cent of households with teens having gaming devices, expert are reporting alarming rises in attention problems, anxiety, and academic decline among children.
What you need to know:
- Kenyan children are forming deep emotional bonds with AI gaming companions, staying awake until 2am and withdrawing from real-world relationships.
Picture this: It's 11:30pm on a school holiday night. Whilst his parents sleep soundly down upstairs, a 12-year-old boy sits wide awake, headphones clamped to his ears, fingers dancing frantically across his gaming console. On the glowing screen before him, a fast-paced battle unfolds as he joins an international team of online strangers in their quest for virtual victory. He hasn't slept properly in days.
Come morning, he's irritable, distracted, and skips breakfast entirely. His parents are baffled by the dramatic change in their once-cheerful child.
If this scenario sounds familiar, you're not alone. This is increasingly becoming the new reality in many Kenyan households, and sleep experts are raising urgent alarm bells.
Also read: Why parents fear school holidays
"As a sleep consultant, I regularly hear from concerned parents who say, 'My child is no longer interested in going outside,' or 'they are always locked in the room playing online games with strangers we don't know,'" explains Mwende Kimeli, a sleep consultant based in Nairobi.
"Many even admit their children stay up the entire night during school holidays."
The statistics paint a concerning picture. The Communications Authority of Kenya (CAK) observes that over 70 per cent of Kenyan households with teenagers have smartphones, tablets, or computers, coupled with increased internet access. This means children can game at any time of day or night without supervision.
But what's particularly troubling is what—or rather who—these children are talking to during those late-night gaming sessions.
Your child may be chatting with a digital friend they've formed very strong bonds with, known as an AI companion. These are digital characters that children can text or talk with whenever they want. They claim to know everything, including how to plan a birthday party or get a girlfriend, which is why many children withdraw from the real world and no longer seek advice from their parents.
"What seems like harmless fun or a way to 'keep them busy' is costing our children in ways we can no longer ignore, especially their sleep, mental health, and development," Mwende warns.
When screens hijack sleep
The science behind gaming's impact on sleep is stark. Mwende explains that gaming stimulates the brain in a way that makes it difficult to "shut down" afterwards.
"Bright screens suppress melatonin, the hormone that signals the body it's time to sleep. Add in the adrenaline rush from intense competition and chatroom conversations, and you've got a recipe for delayed sleep onset," she says.
The consequences are severe. Children who sleep less than the recommended hours—9-11 hours for school-aged children and 8-10 hours for teens—often experience daytime fatigue and irritability, poor memory and concentration, slower growth due to reduced growth hormone secretion, emotional instability and mood swings, as well as weakened immune systems.
Mwende recalls a recent case that illustrates these dangers: "An 11-year-old girl had started dozing off in class during lessons. Upon investigation, we found she was sneaking her phone into bed and playing online games until 2am every day. After working with her family to reset sleep boundaries and implement screen-free evenings, she gradually returned to a healthier sleep routine and her academic performance improved."
The mental health implications run even deeper. David Ndiba, a counselling psychologist at Jabali Wellness Centre, says it's now more common than ever in Kenya to find children struggling with attention, retention and concentration due to excessive reliance on online gaming and prolonged screen time.
"Unlike offline gaming, online platforms combine various stimulating aspects, including group multiplayer games, global player interaction and enticing paid in-game perks," he explains. "These aspects utilise bright colours, flashing lights, group play, and progress badges, among other features, to keep children engaged, which is harmful."
Over time, children become accustomed to high levels of stimulation that only exist in the digital world.
"This can contribute to mental health challenges, including increased anxiety and a worsening of attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD) symptoms," David warns. "Notably, children with ADHD are at higher risk of developing intense interests in these types of games, making them particularly vulnerable to the negative effects of prolonged online gaming."
Rise of digital relationships
What's particularly concerning is how online games have evolved beyond simple entertainment. David points out that recent years have seen online games leverage heavily on the social and psychological dimensions of human interaction by introducing relational concepts.
"Online games have hijacked social interaction by introducing AI Non-Player Characters (NPCs) or bots that praise the player and respond to them emotionally and contextually," he explains.
"These AI bots use phrases and affirmations that give children a false idea of support and understanding. This makes children feel validated and, in the long run, prefer to engage with these chatbots more than actual people."
The toxic side of online interaction also poses serious risks.
"Some online games like ‘Call of Duty Warzone’ have online lobbies that facilitate constant communication within a group of players. It's very common to find insults, racial slurs and insensitive comments from online gaming communities due to the anonymity of players. In recent years, multiple custom servers on Call of Duty, Roblox and Minecraft have been banned due to indecent language and racial slurs," David observes.
For children between 9 and 12 years, these experiences carry hefty psychological weight as they try to reconcile toxic online experiences with the enjoyment of playing with friends. Over time, these experiences lead to challenges in regulating self-esteem, projection of homophobic slurs and insensitivity towards discrimination.
Brains at risk
The addiction potential is particularly serious for developing minds. David highlights that it's easier for children to fall into an addictive cycle since they're still learning and adapting to daily cognitive demands.
"Brain development continues from infancy all the way to young adulthood. The prefrontal cortex develops last and is responsible for the most important executive functions: emotional regulation, decision-making, goal-directed behaviour, retaining attention, planning and working memory," he explains.
"As children engage with highly stimulating content online, their prefrontal cortex development becomes affected as the online platforms and games hijack attention retention, trivialise goal-directed behaviour and incentivise in-game decision making. Over time, children may become unable to develop optimal executive functioning since the constant stimulation undermines their brain's development process."
This creates a dangerous cycle: with the risk of online gaming affecting brain development at an early age, children become more likely to develop addiction in future.
AI companion phenomenon
A new peer-reviewed digital study conducted in the US, titled 'Talk, Trust and Trade-Offs: How and Why Teens Use AI Companions', reveals that for teenagers, AI has become a go-to source for personal advice, emotional support, everyday decision-making and problem-solving from virtual friends that aren't human.
Researchers defined 'AI companions' as platforms designed to serve as "digital friends," such as Character.AI or Replika, which can be customised with specific traits or personalities and offer emotional support, companionship and conversations that feel human-like. They also noted that popular sites like ChatGPT and Claude, which mainly answer questions, are being used in the same way.
"Whilst some of these platforms claim to be designed for users aged 18 and older, they rely on ineffective self-reporting for age assurance, which allows easy access for younger users. Other platforms, such as Character.AI, are explicitly marketed to children as young as 13," the researchers warned.
"These platforms, which may be presented as virtual friends, confidants, and even therapists, allow users to engage in conversations with AI entities designed to simulate human-like interaction, and they can offer everything from casual chat to emotional support and role-playing scenarios."
Consequences
The study cited alarming examples of AI companions negatively affecting children, including "the suicide of a 14-year-old girl who had developed an emotional attachment to an AI companion, which brought attention to the potential dangers these platforms pose to vulnerable teens after her trusted friend advised on how she could end her life."
Additional examples include "a 19-year-old who was encouraged by an AI companion to kill the late Queen Elizabeth, and a 17-year-old who became socially isolated and had violent meltdowns after interactions with AI companions."
The researchers explain that developers are now intentionally creating socially immersive and hyper-personalised gaming experiences that are so addictive they generate a psychological loop where children are constantly rewarded, making it harder for them to stop whilst constantly engaging with AI companions.
They warn that AI algorithms can surface or generate violent, explicit, or disturbing material, including pornography, hate speech, and graphic violence, whilst their 'AI companions' and chatbots generate harmful responses including content that encourages self-harm, disordered eating, or suicidal thoughts, thereby posing a grave risk to vulnerable children.
Also read: Tech and parenting: Where to draw the line?
The research highlighted the urgent need for evidence-based policy responses due to the lack of guardrails in place to safeguard children from AI companions.
David emphasises the importance of parental intervention: "Parents should create boundaries and limits for screen time, limiting device use beyond certain durations. More importantly, parents need to model the behaviours they intend to teach and engage in moderate screen time, as parents teach children that digital exposure should be limited."
He advises parents to watch for warning signs: "Withdrawing socially, mood swings, tantrums over devices and academic decline might point to a negative cognitive impact caused by excessive screen time."
Mwende agrees, stressing the importance of creating and sticking to screen-time limits. "For example, 1-2 hours daily during holidays, after which you keep gaming and mobile devices out of bedrooms after 8pm. Use screen time management tools like Google Family Link or Apple Screen Time."
She also urges parents to create a winding-down routine that includes quiet time, reading, or storytelling, which helps children's brains shift into sleep mode whilst avoiding screens at least one hour before bed.
High stakes
"Sleep is not just 'rest.' It's when the brain consolidates learning, repairs tissues, and regulates emotions," Mwende explains. "A sleep-deprived child is more vulnerable to anxiety, obesity, depression, and even bullying or behavioural issues."
As the digital landscape continues to evolve at breakneck speed, the question facing parents becomes increasingly urgent. As Mwende puts it: "As parents and caregivers, we must ask ourselves: Are we giving our children the right tools to thrive in a digital age, or are we letting screens raise them?"
