The last patient I attended to before breaking for the festive season was Annah. It was Christmas Eve, and the clinic was set to close at noon. At 11:58 a.m., as I was stepping out the door, Annah rushed in, visibly flustered. She insisted on being seen immediately, calling it an emergency. Though I was moments away from leaving, I turned back—emergencies take precedence, even when Christmas is calling.
“So, doctor,” she began, catching her breath as she sat down. “How do you find pleasure in hell?”
Her question caught me completely off guard. “Pleasure in hell?” I asked, unsure of her meaning.
Over the years, I’ve grown accustomed to interpreting euphemisms and metaphors at the Sexology Clinic. Many patients find it difficult to articulate sexual concerns directly, opting for more creative expressions instead.
Annah quickly clarified. “I’m in a long-distance relationship. My husband works abroad and he’s flying in tonight. But hell broke loose this morning—my period started!”
She went on to explain that her period was heavy, and she was anxious about whether it was okay to be intimate with her husband during menstruation. “My friends warned me it’s not acceptable,” she added. “They even said it could harm him—cause erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation.”
Her worry was evident. “I just want to show my love for him, especially during this season of celebration. What should I do?”
Understanding Period Intimacy
Annah’s situation is more common than most would imagine. Many women have sex during menstruation, and contrary to some cultural or religious beliefs, there’s no medical reason to avoid it—provided both partners are free of infections.
In fact, period sex can even enhance intimacy in relationships. Long-term couples often fall into predictable sexual routines, which can lead to monotony. Choosing to be intimate during menstruation often requires creativity—whether it’s opting for the shower, bathtub, or floor to avoid staining beddings. This break from routine can reignite closeness and excitement.
Additionally, period sex can offer therapeutic benefits. Uterine contractions during orgasm can help expel menstrual blood and tissues, which may reduce the length of menstruation and alleviate cramps. Women who struggle with severe period pain might find this a surprising form of relief.
“For real? If it helps with cramps, then I must try it!” Annah exclaimed, interrupting my explanation.
Some women also find sex more pleasurable during their periods due to heightened sensitivity. The fullness in the pelvic area and swelling of sex organs can increase arousal. For those who experience dryness during intercourse, menstrual blood acts as a natural lubricant, making the experience more comfortable and enjoyable.
However, I cautioned Annah about safety. During menstruation, the cervix is slightly open, which increases the risk of infections. It’s crucial to be confident about your partner’s health status. If there’s any doubt, using protection, like a condom, is essential. This is especially important for preventing the transmission of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs), as the risk is higher during this time.
“I still think it’s a bit messy,” Annah admitted. “Maybe I’ve just conditioned myself to avoid it. A change in mindset might help.”
Her hesitation was valid. While some women embrace period sex, others find it emotionally or physically challenging. It’s ultimately a personal decision, guided by mutual understanding and respect between partners.
Before we concluded, I suggested she explore female condoms if they were open to using protection. “This might even be an opportunity for you to take the lead and show your partner something new,” I added.
As our session came to a close, Annah smiled. “So, it’s actually possible to have pleasure in hell?” she quipped.
“If menstruation is your definition of hell,” I replied with a grin, “then yes, it is possible.”
