Pregnancy isn’t just a physical journey—it’s an emotional roller-coaster.
It is 2 am, and I sit wide awake, staring at the ceiling and wondering how the mosquito managed to infiltrate this secured net yet again.
I sigh. It is my third trip to the bathroom.
Back in bed, I try to find a comfortable position, shifting and turning as my growing belly demands extra care.
I’m in my second trimester and this is my first child. Sleep has become a distant memory, replaced by the nightly dance of discomfort and longing for rest.
The pregnancy pillow, once touted as a magical solution, now feels like a cumbersome roadblock. Tonight, it’s just one more thing between me and the elusive sleep I so desperately crave.
Establishing a bedtime ritual can train a pregnant woman's body to recognise when it’s time to wind down.
I glance over at my husband, sleeping soundly beside me, and gently nudge him.
“Babe,” I whisper.
“I can’t sleep. My back is killing me.”
He stirs, his movements slow and groggy, but his care shines through as he helps me adjust the U-shaped pillow around my body.
His half-asleep gestures might not be perfect, but they’re enough to ease my frustration and remind me that I’m not alone in this.
Pregnancy, they say, is a journey of joy and anticipation, but it’s also one filled with challenges—especially in the quiet hours of the night.
For me and millions of mothers-to-be, these sleepless nights are a reminder of the changes our bodies endure as we nurture a new life. And though rest may evade me, the thought of what’s to come makes every ache worth it.
When I sit down for an interview with Asha Kaberia, a doula and child development specialist, I wear two hats: a writer and an eager mum-to-be looking for tips to make the nights a tad more bearable.
Asha Kagendo Kaberia, a midwife and a child development specialist.
With over 13 years of experience in maternal care, Asha has dedicated her career to supporting women through motherhood transitions. She began as a nurse-midwife in hospital antenatal clinics and maternity wards before shifting to private practice as a home birth midwife.
“I love seeing the relief and happiness on their faces when they understand what’s happening and know someone is there for them. While I could offer support in hospitals, it wasn’t always the personalised care I envisioned,” she reflects.
For Asha, personalised care means meeting a mother in her space, and addressing her unique needs. “It’s about understanding her as an individual,” she explains. “How are you feeling? How is your baby? Did you sleep well? How is your family? What challenges are you facing?”
The changing night
In the early days of my pregnancy, I never imagined how drastically my nights would change.
I naively assumed that the sheer exhaustion would lull me into deep, uninterrupted sleep. Instead, the first trimester turned out to be a whirlwind of restless nights.
Hormonal surges left me tossing and turning, while my bladder seemed to have developed a relentless schedule of its own.
Asha explains that these hormonal changes are not just random.
“Hormones like progesterone, essential for supporting the pregnancy, affect the brain’s sleep-regulating centres,” she says.
“They can make you feel sleepy during the day but restless at night.”
This is compounded by physical changes such as increased blood flow and the uterus pressing against the bladder, causing frequent urination.
As my pregnancy progressed, new challenges began to surface.
My growing belly soon rendered my favourite sleeping position—flat on my back— out of the question. Each night became a quest to find a new way to rest comfortably, with my ever-changing body dictating the terms.
Determined to find relief, I decided to invest in a pregnancy pillow.
I visited a baby shop and was presented with two options: A U-shaped pillow and a C-shaped one.
Wanting to ensure I got the best value for my money, I took my time to test both, carefully considering how each one supported my growing belly and aching back. This wasn’t just about comfort—it was about reclaiming my nights.
However, the pillow wasn’t the miracle cure I’d hoped for. The frequent bathroom trips persisted, punctuating my nights with frustration, and occasional bouts of heartburn only added to the discomfort.
Asha emphasises the importance of meal timing to deal with digestive issues.
“Heartburn is common during pregnancy because the hormone relaxin causes the valve between the stomach and oesophagus to loosen. Eating smaller meals and avoiding acidic or spicy foods in the evening can make a big difference.”
To manage the frequent night-time trips to the bathroom, Asha offers a practical tip: ensure you drink enough water—about two to three litres—during the day to avoid feeling thirsty at night.
“When it comes to eating, allow yourself at least two hours of rest after a meal before heading to bed. This helps your body digest properly and reduces discomfort during the night.”
Asha has something to say about sex drive and appeal during pregnancy: “Some women experience heightened desire and better intimacy, especially in the second trimester, while others may notice a decrease due to hormonal and physiological changes. Both are perfectly okay.”
She notes that it helps improve bonding with your partner, mood from the release of feel-good hormones, stress reduction, and even boosting immunity.
“Sex is also a light form of exercise, and there’s no reason to avoid it unless advised by your healthcare provider,” she adds.
Asha stresses the importance of comfort, suggesting alternative positions like side-lying as your belly grows.
However, she cautions that conditions like placenta previa, preterm labour risk, multiple pregnancies, or broken waters may require abstinence.
“Always consult your doctor if you’re unsure, but in a healthy pregnancy, intimacy can be safe, enjoyable, and beneficial.”
Partner support matters
My husband has become an essential part of my night-time routine. Sometimes, just turning in bed feels like a full-on workout. On those particularly tough nights, he patiently adjusts my pillows or helps me sit up when my growing belly feels too heavy to manage alone.
Asha applauds this kind of involvement.
“Pregnancy is a shared journey,” she says. “When partners are supportive, it not only eases the physical burden but also strengthens the emotional bond between the couple.”
She encourages partners to educate themselves about the changes their loved ones are experiencing.
“Sometimes, just understanding what’s going on can make a partner more empathetic and willing to help,” she adds.
The emotional struggles
Pregnancy isn’t just a physical journey—it’s an emotional roller-coaster.
I often find myself lying awake, my mind racing with questions about the future. Will I be a good mother? Am I truly prepared for labour? Will my baby be healthy?
“Anxiety during pregnancy is common,” Asha says.
“The body’s hormonal changes can heighten emotions, and bringing a new life into the world can feel overwhelming.”
She recommends practices such as meditation and journaling to help calm the mind.
“Writing down your worries can make them feel more manageable,” she suggests. “And deep-breathing exercises before bed can help signal to your body that it’s time to rest.”
Asha also emphasises the importance of seeking professional help when needed.
“If anxiety or insomnia becomes severe, don’t hesitate to talk to a healthcare provider,” she says. “There are safe treatments and therapies available for pregnant women.”
Evening walks have become a part of my wind-down ritual, helping me relax and prepare for sleep. I’ve also turned my bedroom into a sleep haven—dim lighting, cool temperatures, and soothing music create an atmosphere that helps me settle in for the night.
Asha encourages expectant mothers to create such routines.
“Establishing a bedtime ritual can train your body to recognise when it’s time to wind down,” she says. “Consistency is key.”
She also advises against screen time before bed, as the blue light emitted by phones and tablets can interfere with the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone.
How to wake up safely
Asha advises expectant mothers to approach waking up with care and mindfulness, ensuring their movements support their changing bodies.
“When you wake up, begin by folding your legs gently, bringing your knees towards your body. Avoid sudden movements that might strain the muscles supporting your growing baby,” she explains.
“From this position, use your hands to support yourself.
“Slowly shift your legs toward the edge of the bed, inch by inch, until your feet touch the floor.
Let your hands continue to support you as you do this, ensuring balance and stability.
“Take a moment to pause and listen to your body before standing up. Rushing can cause discomfort or dizziness, especially as blood flow adjusts.
“Finally, plant your feet firmly on the floor and use both your legs and hands to lift yourself upright.”
Now that I’m almost in my third trimester, my nights are still far from perfect, but I have learnt to listen to my body and embrace the changes.
Asha reminds mothers-to-be that pregnancy transforms every aspect of life, and night-time is no exception.
“This is a season of change,” she says. “But with the right tools and mind-set, it can be a beautiful journey.”
