From left: Dennis Murimi, Bruce Mwanza, Mathews Were, Armstrong Inambili and Francis Ashoro.
Not all fathers who are financially providing for their children can be termed as present dads. In the olden days, a father was a father whether present, absent or deadbeat.
In this new era of fatherhood, being a present dad means many things and perhaps money is not it. Present fatherhood means choosing to stay at home part‐time, taking paternity leave to help change diapers or wash your baby, or declining a job offer abroad to never miss her first gurgling and cooing.
Kenyan men are increasingly making such bold decisions, which sometimes are met with scepticism by traditionalists.
Nation Lifestyle spoke to this new generation of dads.
Dennis Murimi - Motorsport Emcee
Dennis Murimi.
“I have always loved children, even before I became a father. When I got my children, I knew I wanted to be engaged in their daily lives. Growing up, my father was mostly absent due to work, and my mother handled everything at home. I promised myself that I would break that cycle—I would be there for my children every day.
One way I bond with my children is through my love for cars. As an emcee for motorsport events, I take them along whenever possible. They love it and always look forward to it. Seeing them excited about something I am passionate about strengthens our connection.
Being a hands-on father has been a deeply fulfilling experience. I vividly remember when my firstborn, Taji, was born. From his first day, until he was four months old, I bathed him every evening after work. My wife would prepare the warm water, and I would clean and change his diapers. Those moments created a strong bond between us, and to this day, he feels safe in my hands. I encourage other fathers to embrace such responsibilities—changing diapers, feeding, and comforting their children. It’s not just a mother’s duty; it’s a shared role that strengthens family bonds.
Of course, fatherhood comes with its challenges. There are days when exhaustion kicks in. Sometimes, I need to step away for a moment to recharge. But at the end of the day, I remind myself of my role. When my children wake up sick in the middle of the night, I don’t hesitate—I step up. Society still holds on to the outdated belief that mothers should handle most parenting duties, but times are changing. More fathers are now actively involved, even if their efforts go unrecognised.
I take pride in being an intentional father. I share my experiences on social media, but I know many other dads are just as involved, even if they don’t post about it.
When I bring my children to my weekend gigs, it may look easy in photos, but in reality, it takes effort and commitment. Yet, for me, it doesn’t feel like a burden—it’s a role I have fully embraced.
As fathers, we are the heads of our families, but leadership is not just about providing—it’s about being present, engaged, and intentional.
Mathews Were – Fashion Designer
Mathews Were is a fashion designer and father of two.
In the past, a father was primarily seen as a provider and protector. However, in modern society, being a father means much more than just putting food on the table. We are not just providers but also mentors, counsellors, and role models who prepare our children for the future.
For me, being an involved father means taking an active role in my children’s lives every day. I check on their school progress and engage with them to understand what is happening in their world. It allows me to shape their mindset, encourage their ambitions, and support them emotionally through life’s challenges. Being present and offering guidance is just as important as providing financially.
However, fatherhood is not without its struggles. One of the biggest challenges I face is time. Sometimes, I come home late from work, only to find my children asleep. Missing out on moments with them can be tough. Another challenge is the constant pressure to provide. While I work hard to ensure they have the best—schools, shelter, and a comfortable life—there are times when their needs or desires exceed what I can immediately offer. As a father, it’s difficult to feel like you’re not meeting every expectation.
Despite these challenges, I want to encourage fathers to remain steadfast in their roles. Society today faces many issues, including absent fathers but we must not give up. Our children still need us to be present, supportive, and strong. Looking ahead, I hope to see fathers reclaim their fundamental roles—not just as providers and protectors but also as the spiritual and moral leaders of their families. A father’s influence is irreplaceable, and I am committed to ensuring that my children always feel my presence, guidance, and love.
Armstrong Inambili – Teacher
Armstrong Inambili is a teacher at Pimlico Academy and a father of five.
Being a dad of five—three boys and two girls—is like juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle. It’s chaotic, unpredictable, and worth it. At first, I thought my role was just to provide—to ensure there was food on the table and school fees were paid. But over time, I realised that being a father is so much more. It’s about showing up, emotionally and physically, even on the days when you’re drained. My eldest daughter, now in Form Four, and my son in Form Two are in boarding school, but I check in constantly, offering advice (even when it’s met with an eye roll). My younger three, still in primary school, keep me grounded. Whether it’s helping with math homework (which I sometimes have to Google) or preventing kitchen disasters, I’m there—fully involved.
Being a hands-on dad means being present for big and small moments. It’s about guiding them through school struggles, negotiating snack time treaties, and answering their endless “Dad, can you help me?” questions. When my wife had two surgeries, I had to step up in ways I hadn’t before. Suddenly, I was running the household—handling the children, managing chores, and making sure she got enough rest. That experience reinforced what I already knew: fatherhood isn’t just about providing; it’s about being there, in the trenches, every single day.
The older ones are somewhat independent (except for those 2am texts about forgotten textbooks), but the younger ones demand constant attention. Time management has become my superpower, and I’ve learned to embrace the chaos.
Fatherhood is about being emotionally available, actively involved, and present in the little moments that shape a child’s life. My hope for the future is that more dads realise this. It’s not just about “being there”—it’s about being all in. And yes, dad jokes will always be part of the package!
Bruce Mwanza – Digital Marketer
Bruce Mwanza.
Becoming a father has completely redefined my perspective on parenting. When my daughter was younger, I decided to home-school her for some time. I wanted to be deeply involved in her education, not just leave it up to schools and teachers. That experience taught me patience, adaptability, and the immense joy of watching her grasp new concepts first-hand. Now, as she grows older, I’m preparing to enrol her in a tech-focused school, hoping she’ll surpass me in IT and digital marketing. It’s not just about giving her opportunities—it’s about shaping a future where she thrives.
Being a hands-on father means being present, even when work demands long hours. My job as a digital marketer often stretches late into the night, but I make sure to create intentional time with my daughter. Whether it’s helping her with a project, sharing bedtime stories, or simply discussing her day, I ensure she knows I’m always there. These small yet meaningful moments strengthen our bond and give her the confidence to express herself openly.
Parenting hasn’t come without its hardships. Last year, we lost our newborn son just hours after his birth. That was the most painful moment of my life, but I knew I had to remain strong—not just for myself, but for my wife and daughter. Supporting them through grief while dealing with my own was challenging, yet it reinforced my role as a pillar of strength in our family. Through open conversations, shared memories, and unwavering love, we’ve found healing together.
I believe being a dad means being actively involved in every aspect of your child’s life—not just financially but emotionally and mentally as well. I hope more fathers recognise that their presence shapes their children’s world in profound ways.
Looking ahead, I see fatherhood evolving into a more balanced and engaged role. I want to see more dads taking charge of their children’s education, guiding them into fields where they can excel, and being their biggest supporters. My dream is simple—I want my daughter to grow up knowing that her father was not just there, but truly present in her life.
Francis Ashoro – Phone Technician
Francis Ashoro.
Becoming a father has completely shifted my mindset. Growing up in a humble background, I always knew I wanted to work hard, but having my son gave that ambition a sharper focus.
The moment I held my son for the first time, I knew my life had changed—I had to take things more seriously. Since then, I’ve expanded my business, bought land, and started building a foundation for his future. Additionally, I’ve been intentional about surrounding myself with men who are also dedicated fathers, learning from them and growing in wisdom.
Being a hands-on father means making the time, despite a demanding schedule. As a phone technician and fitness trainer, my work often stretches into long hours, but I refuse to let that steal time away from my son. I make sure to be present—whether it’s bath time, feeding, or just holding him after a long day. Even in his infancy, I know that my presence makes a difference. I want him to grow up knowing that his father was there, not just working for him, but living life with him. Balancing work, personal goals, and fatherhood is a challenge, but I embrace it. I push myself because I want to give my son the best education and a strong foundation. There are days when exhaustion kicks in, but I remind myself why I’m doing this. The sacrifices I make today will shape his tomorrow.
Society often places the burden of provision on fathers but neglects the emotional aspect of parenting. I want to change that narrative. I believe being a father means guiding him, teaching him values, and setting an example of what hard work and integrity look like.
I want to raise my son in a world where men see fatherhood as a privilege, not just a duty. For me, success isn’t just about growing my business or accumulating wealth; it’s about raising a son who knows he is deeply loved, supported, and guided every step of the way.
gmwendwa.ke@gmail.com
