Just a Man: From midlife crisis to catharsis
A midlife crisis can be likened to the valley of the shadow of death
Unlike no other time in recent memory, men are going through a particularly rough time. Covid-19 has bitten their lives, marriages, life savings, jobs, businesses and mental health. What’s a man supposed to do when Covid-19 hits smack in the middle of a midlife crisis? How does one turn a midlife crisis into, hopefully, midlife catharsis? For me, the answer is in the famous Psalm 23 and involves several core steps.
Shepherding
Every man needs a shepherd. The shepherd can be God, a spiritual leader or an expert who knows this treacherous terrain better than you do.
The Psalmist talks about the Lord being his shepherd and leading him to greener pastures. A midlife crisis can be likened to a desert. A man needs someone who will lead him to greener pastures, to places where he can get nutritious fodder and fresh water for his thirsty and hungry soul.
Walking through
A midlife crisis can be likened to the valley of the shadow of death. At times, a shadow of death can be more frightening than actual death. During this time, shadows of death have freaked men out. Shadows of death - of their sources of income and relationships - have made men lose their minds.
When you find yourself in the shadow of death, you have to - as the Psalmist says - “walk through”. Don’t mind your pace; walkthrough.
The worst mistake a man can make is to make their bed - read, give up - in the shadow of death. By doing that, you have made your death bed.
Walking through means doing all it takes to get out of the fix you are in. It can mean going without certain items. It can mean downsizing. It can mean swallowing your pride and doing jobs that you wouldn’t normally do.
Who you are walking with also matters. This is one of the places where your shepherd will come in handy.
In an Instagram post late last year, filmmaker Tyler Perry said: “This is what a midlife crisis looks like. I’m 51, single and wondering what the next chapter in my life will look like.”
“Whatever it looks like, I’m going to walk with God, be the best father and man I can be, hold my head up high, and try to look my best doing it!! In a world with so much sadness, please try and stay in the good!”
Fearlessness
During this time, a good number of men are plagued by fear. We fear for our health and that of our loved ones. We fear that we won’t be able to provide for our families.
Fearing no evil guarantees us better mental health. It’s fear that drives us to make up all sorts of scenarios, giving the Enemy legal ground to attack us. In the Bible, Job confessed that what he feared had come upon him when he was going through hell.
For men in this crisis, as the Psalmist notes, they need their shepherd’s rod and staff to comfort them. Yeah, men need comfort too.
The rod symbolises the Lord’s protection and strength. In comparison, the staff symbolises the Lord’s guidance and lovingkindness.
Hoping against hope
The Psalmist testifies about a table prepared before him in his enemies' presence and an overflowing cup.
That’s hope. Hope is the engine that powers our faith.
In Barack Obama’s 2008 Iowa Caucus Speech, he said: “Hope is that thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us if we dare to reach for it and to work for it and to fight for it.”
Faith for the future
The Psalmist talks about goodness and mercy following him all the days of his life, and dwelling in the house of the Lord forever.
That takes faith. Faith is what makes you perceive beyond your current circumstances and dwell in your God-ordained destiny.
Whatever is having to have faith. It will be richly rewarded.
