Every family has that one child who is the most sensitive of the bunch. Sensitivity can be a matter of nature or nurture. Some siblings are born sensitive. Others’ sensitivity is caused by childhood trauma.
The sensitive child is the one who’s the most empathetic person in the nest. The one who’s most likely to be taken on guilt trips by others. This is the child who’s most likely to give the shirt and coat off his back to y’all and, though he has pneumonia, walk half-naked in the finger-freezing teeth-chattering July cold.
You know this sibling, don’t you? Or is this sibling the one in the mirror?
Sensitivity is both a blessing and a curse but, at its core, it is vulnerability fully exposed. In some families, the sensitive child is protected by everyone, plus the pet. In others, this child is the most abused and taken advantage of. And it’s not that these sensitive souls are weak, but their extremely empathetic disposition puts them in the crosshairs of others.
Family dynamics often resemble that of a group of wild animals. In the wild, the most vulnerable animal can be eaten by others in the group, besides being the one at the most risk of becoming a quick meal for predators. Still, in the wild, the weakest animal is fiercely protected by others. This is mostly seen in herds of elephants.
The sensitive child is the one whom other siblings borrow cash, clothes and cars from, but never repay or return. Depending on the circumstances, this vulnerable individual can either be the goose that lays golden eggs or a sitting duck.
So, how can sensitive souls can stand their ground?
Turn a deaf ear to tantrums from entitled folks. They will push and shove and do anything and everything to tag at your heartstrings. Don’t buy it. And don’t be fooled by the waterworks.
Draw boundaries and use SWAT to police them. “Nope, you can’t come to my house.” “I can’t hand you down my stuff anymore.” “You can’t borrow my car.”
Keep a safe distance. Familiarity and proximity breed contempt. If it means moving out of that family-owned house, do so for the sake of your peace.
Jealously guard your spirit because it’s this internal faculty that’s under attack when family members do and say things to vex your sensitive soul. If you allow your spirit – which is your gate – to be brought down, your city will be run over.
Don’t succumb to “blessings-shaming”. That is, being put through the wringer because you’re humongously blessed and highly favoured. Here’s the truth; the blessing of the Lord enriches, and He adds no sorrow to it.
Sensitive Soul: “I, myself and me.”
Sensitive Soul: “Chan man kowadu ok moni nindo.” (That’s a DhoLuo proverb. Which means? The poverty in your bro’s crib doesn’t cause you insomnia).
Entitled Sibling: “How can you live so lavishly while our father is languishing upcountry? I’m just saying.”
Sensitive Soul: “Replace that last word with, jealous. Just saying.”
Entitled Sibling: “If our mother dies, it will be on you.”
Sensitive Soul: “If our mother dies, it will be God’s will.”
Sensitive Soul: “Replace that last word with, wiser. Ouch!”
Be bold. And sensitive. Be brave. And still be sensitive. Uh-huh. You can be both sensitive and strong.
