Embrace social media…cautiously

The Teenage Mom Turned Content Creator

Njeri Kabiru is the founder of Teenage Moms Empowerment, a platform dedicated to supporting young mothers. Her presence on social media is largely driven by her desire to create awareness about teenage pregnancy and its root causes since she was a victim of circumstance. Ms Njeri says she shares content featuring herself and her daughter, a dynamic that has garnered attention and sparked conversations online.

"People often mistake us for sisters because we are the same height and size," Ms Njeri shares with a laugh. “Even if it seems fun, I am very cautious about what I post. There are certain boundaries I won’t cross, mainly to protect my daughter."

For Ms Njeri, social media is not just about sharing moments, it is about educating her audience. However, she is acutely aware of the dangers of oversharing. "The first rule I follow is never to show our location or identifying details, like where my daughter goes to school. Safety is important. I am also careful not to body shame her when we talk about our similar appearance. I always make sure to explain that I was a teenage mother, which is why we look like sisters, to give context and avoid any misunderstandings."

Ms Njeri’s content often involves her daughter, but she emphasizes that it is a collaborative effort. "I always ask for her consent before posting anything. If she is not comfortable with something, we drop it. She has a life, and I do not want to exploit her for content."

This caution is driven by a deep understanding of the potential risks that come with social media fame. The mother of one is aware that clout chasing, that is, doing anything to gain followers, can lead to dangerous oversharing. "People are so focused on gaining followers that they forget the risks. I am not willing to risk my daughter’s safety or well-being for likes or views."

She claims that her approach to social media is strategic and intentional, which ensures that her content serves a purpose beyond just entertainment. "I’m on social media to spread awareness and help other teenage moms. If you don’t have a clear purpose, it is easy to get lost in the pressure to post more and more personal content."

Cautious approach

Jane Kariuki, a clinical psychologist and mother of three, brings a professional perspective. As the founder of Parenting Kenya, she provides training to parents of teenagers, helping them navigate the often turbulent waters of adolescence. Her experience as both a mother and a psychologist gives her unique insights into the potential psychological effects of social media on children.

"I have seen parents who start sharing content featuring their children and notice that these posts get more views," Ms Jane explains. "It is tempting to keep posting more of this content, but it is important to consider the impact it might have on the child."

Ms Jane is particularly concerned about the pressure that social media can place on children, especially when it comes to maintaining a certain image. "Sometimes, parents might think their child is comfortable with being in a video, but as a psychologist, I can often tell when a child is being coerced. The body language says a lot. Even if they say yes, their discomfort might show in subtle ways, like a forced smile."

Read: Social media families: As society evolves, so has the family

The psychologist also highlights the potential long-term effects of oversharing, particularly when it comes to sensitive topics. "I have seen content where parents share personal moments, like their child’s first period. These moments might get a lot of views, but they can also be deeply embarrassing for the child. We need to be careful about what we share, especially when it comes to topics that could affect a child’s self-esteem," she says.

For Ms Jane, the key is finding a balance between being real and maintaining privacy. "Social media can create a curated image of perfection, which can be harmful both to parents and children. The more you try to portray a perfect life online, the more you distance yourself from reality, and that can lead to mental health issues."

The slowly upcoming content creator believes that parents need to be mindful of the messages they are sending with their content. "Are you posting to connect with others and share valuable information, or are you doing it for the validation that comes with likes and comments? It’s important to keep this in mind, especially when your content involves your children," Ms Jane says.

Balancing public image and privacy

Josephine Simaloi, the owner of Rosima Investment Limited, is a mother of three girls and a content creator on TikTok. She was introduced to the app by her daughter. While she enjoys sharing aspects of her life online, she is also conscious of the need to protect her family’s privacy.

"I was born the only girl in my family, and having three daughters has made me very comfortable with them," Ms Josephine says. "We are very close, and I often post content with my second-born daughter. However, I am mindful of what we share. We have an image to protect, both online and in our personal lives."

Ms Josephine’s content is educational and aimed at inspiring teenagers and young women. "Most of what we post is positive and uplifting, and I don’t have a problem with that. But I’m also aware that not everything is meant for public consumption. There are times when I’ve had to caution my daughters about posting certain things because it is important to maintain a certain level of privacy."

Like Njeri, Ms Josephine is careful not to overshare. "I’ve always told them that once something is online, it is out there forever. We have to be mindful of that."

Additionally, Ms Josephine has been deliberate in setting boundaries. "They grew up in the age of the internet, and sometimes they don’t see the harm in sharing certain things. But as a parent, I have to guide them and help them understand the potential consequences."

Read: When is a child ready for social media exposure?

Despite her caution, Ms Josephine acknowledges the benefits of social media, particularly in terms of connecting with others and sharing valuable information. "Social media has its pros and cons, but if used wisely, it can be a powerful tool for education and inspiration."

Impact of social media on children.

As more parents turn to social media to share their lives, the potential impact on their children is becoming a topic of increasing concern. The pressure of juggling to maintain a certain image online can affect a child’s mental health.

"There is a lot of pressure on children to live up to the image their parents create online," Ms Jane explains. "They might feel like they have to look a certain way or act a certain way to fit that image, and that can lead to anxiety and stress," she adds.

Ms Njeri agrees, adding that the rapid pace of information sharing on social media can also be overwhelming for children. "Our children are growing up in a world that is very different from the one we grew up in. They are exposed to so much information, and it’s changing all the time. That can be hard to keep up with, and it can affect them," she says.

One of the biggest concerns is the potential for social media to influence a child’s self-esteem. "When you are constantly being compared to the curated images you see online, it is easy to start feeling like you are not good enough," Ms Jane says. "That is something we need to be aware of as parents," she adds.

How can parents navigate the challenges of social media while still enjoying its benefits?

"First and foremost, have a plan," Ms Njeri advises. "Know why you are on social media and what you want to achieve. Without a plan, it is easy to get lost in the pressure to post more and more personal content," she says.

Ms Jane also puts pressure on the importance of privacy. "Be careful about what you share. Avoid posting identifying details like your location or your child’s school. And always consider the potential impact on your child before you post something."

Ms Josephine stresses the need for open communication with your children. "Talk to them about social media and the potential risks. Make sure they understand that once something is online, it is there forever."

Read: Why we're parenting under the social media limelight

These parents agree that it is crucial to prioritise your child’s well-being over social media fame. "At the end of the day, your child’s safety and mental health are more important than likes and followers," Ms Jane says. "Remember that, and let it guide your decisions."

Harmonise online with real-life

Collins Odhiambo, an educationist and passionate advocate for effective parenting, also shares the evolving landscape of parenting in the age of social media. With years of experience in the international curriculum, Mr Odhiambo has delved deeply into why children often clash with their parents during their teenage years.

However, his research reveals a surprising insight, "Actually, the children do not have a problem." Mr Odiambo argues that children are like "empty pots" that absorb behaviours from their environment, which means that pressing issues often involve focusing on the environment, rather than the children themselves.

The educator’s journey into parenting advice began in earnest during the COVID-19 pandemic when he started sharing insights online. His social media presence was initially a way to answer recurring questions from parents and children alike. “Social media makes things easier for you to just pick out on parenting information.” Social platforms like TikTok and Instagram have become his tools to reach a wider audience, providing practical advice and clarifications through engaging content.

One of Mr Odhiambo’s primary concerns is the role modelling of parents. "Children do not do what we tell them to do. They do what we do." He says that the content parents share on social media largely influences their children. If parents present an unrealistic or negative portrayal of life, it affects their children's perceptions and mental health.

"Social media life is ninety per cent fake," Mr Odhiambo notes, highlighting that children may struggle with depression when they cannot reconcile their real lives with the idealised versions seen online.

Regarding the integration of technology into parenting, Mr Odhiambo advises that parents should embrace social media rather than shy away from it. “Social media is here to stay,” he says. Parents should engage with their children’s online world, even if they are not active themselves. This approach fosters open communication and helps parents stay informed about the content their children consume.

He also addresses the issue of maintaining privacy while being active on social media. He argues that “social media has no privacy,” but stresses the importance of balancing online presence with family life. The coach suggests that parents should prepare their children for the digital world while ensuring that the children understand how to navigate social media responsibly.

Mr Odhiambo highlights the need for modern parenting skills that adapt to the digital age. "Traditional parenting styles are getting updated," he observes, as he stresses the importance of involving children in the parenting process to address contemporary challenges.

For parents who earn a living through social media, the parental coach differentiates between being a parent and being a public figure. “Parents must manage their online personas carefully, as they keep in mind that their children will be exposed to their content.

Mr Odhiambo says, if he had the power he would create more awareness for social media among children.

‘‘I would integrate social media education into the school curriculum. This would involve teaching children about social media uses, dangers, pros, and cons from an early age. Education is key. By incorporating this into the curriculum, we can ensure that children have the knowledge before they start using social media. Additionally, I would organise training sessions and conversations for parents to help them understand social media and engage with it effectively. Some countries already include social media in their educational programs, using it for learning purposes. By making this a standard part of education, we can better prepare children and parents for the digital world.’’ Mr Odhiambo says.

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