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Every inch of you is perfect even if you are alone on Valentine's day
There's no rush to get hitched, or get into a bad relationship – it's better to be single than unhealthy (emotionally). Marriage is a big deal, so there's no need to leap onto the next moving thing that proposes. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP
What you need to know:
- Yes, that scary taboo for all women. No one finds you attractive enough to commit to? (because let's face it, finding someone to bump uglies with is so much easier if you are female – so much so that does it even mean anything anymore?)
- The only person I'll be bumping uglies with tomorrow night is my sofa as I watch reruns of Real Housewives of Atlanta.
- Yes, they are a crazy uber-dramatic bunch, but they remind me of a lot of Nairobi women as well.
So 50 Shades of Grey has been banned from the cinema, thus ruining my big I'm-a-single-girl Valentine's plans to go sit in a dark room with hundreds of people and laugh at the fact that someone finds violent coerced sex appealing.
Because inasmuch as 50 Shades has been touted as the best thing for the mommy porn genre since Harlequin romance novels, it actually is a tale that sheds disturbing light on the world of BDSM – Bondage Domination Slave Master, for the uninitiated.
I mean, the entire badly written trilogy is basically a poster child for the terrible idea that men have about how when a girl says no, all she wants is to be plied with enough money/alcohol until she says yes – and then she'll realiSe she meant yes all along.
Ok so maybe it is a good thing it was banned. Regardless – I'm still single on Valentines Day.
Yes, that scary taboo for all women. No one finds you attractive enough to commit to? (because let's face it, finding someone to bump uglies with is so much easier if you are female – so much so that does it even mean anything anymore?)
The only person I'll be bumping uglies with tomorrow night is my sofa as I watch reruns of Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Yes, they are a crazy uber-dramatic bunch, but they remind me of a lot of Nairobi women as well.
You know – there's the larger than life loud personality who thinks she is God's gift to sense; the ditzy pretty girl who has the best dresses and shoes, probably from Backyard but the same price as Angelos; the successful in her own right independent woman settling into her family life, finally, when everyone didn't think she could; and so on, and so forth.
Women are identified from the get go by who they are attached to
The thing about this show, though, is that all the women are identified from the get go by who they are attached to.
I mean, the show is called the real HOUSEWIVES. When in reality, most of them really aren't even housewives.
Kenyan women do the same thing on Valentines Day. It's like your worth is diminished if you're not married or in a relationship.
People start to wonder if there is something wrong with you. Is she too Christian? Too loose? Too learned? Too stupid?
And then the pressure gets to them – they start reading books like Fascinating Womanhood, or Love and Respect, or even worse, Think Like A Man, to get deeper insight into how how to make sure they're not single when February 14 2016 comes around.
Not that these books are bad. Well, Think Like A Man I thought was a bit irrelevant in an African context and my verdict is still out on Fascinating Womanhood.
But how many guys do you see reading these books to become a better father, or husband, or men? Why does it feel like we are the only ones concerned about this? Are we that desperate?
The answer is yes. And it is sad that we still feel like our worth as women is entrenched in who is taking us to dinner. You know what, people? It's ok to be single on Valentines Day AND any other day of the year.
There's no rush to get hitched, or get into a bad relationship – it's better to be single than unhealthy (emotionally). Marriage is a big deal, so there's no need to leap onto the next moving thing that proposes.
You can't rush love, and you shouldn't, in spite of how many grandchildren your mother says she wants. And nothing is wrong with you – you just haven't found the right person.
In the words of Meghan Trainor, I'm here to tell you every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top.
Happy Valentine's Day.
