Happiness is something you intentionally create
Because most people confuse happiness with success. We’re forever being told that money and possessions will make us happy.
What you need to know:
- Write a list of things you like about yourself, for example, that you’re honest, or kind, or always there for your friends.
- Even a short time each week doing something that involves complete concentration will increase your sense of control and self worth.
Happiness isn’t some impossible dream. It’s something you can work on.
Because most people confuse happiness with success. We’re forever being told that money and possessions will make us happy.
But that’s not true, because material wants are never satisfied. Instead, you should focus on the things that truly make people happy. Such as living in tune with your values. And simple pleasures like quietly watching a beautiful sunset.
So choose a value that’s important to you. Kindness for example, or supporting your spouse, and ask yourself each week how you’ve improved it.
You’ll also feel happier if you minimise choices, simplify your life and create routines. So rather than agonising over what to cook, one meal at a time, plan your meals for the week and then shop for the ingredients.
And create a morning routine that starts your day efficiently. Create a film shortlist rather than forever scrolling through all the streaming menus. Build a go-to playlist for your favourite music.
You’ll be happier if you feel good about yourself. So write a list of things you like about yourself, for example, that you’re honest, or kind, or always there for your friends. If that’s hard, think of someone you look up to, and imagine what they would write about you.
Try to find a few tasks that fully absorb you. Even a short time each week doing something that involves complete concentration will increase your sense of control and self worth. Such as practising a tricky pool shot, speed-solving a Rubik’s Cube, following a complex new recipe, or planting out delicate seedlings.
Avoid seeing yourself as a victim. We all do it, such as when someone cuts in front of us in traffic. Instead, change the story to include the other person’s perspective. For example by imagining that the other driver was distracted, and it’s only your skill that prevented an accident.
Or the way people stockpile excessively when there are shortages. It’s easy to see them as villains and ourselves as their victims. Instead, imagine they’re looking after elderly parents and really need that stuff.
And what about those ‘wants’ that we’re sure will make us happy? That glass of whisky, an even bigger television, or a promotion at work?
Strangely, after you’ve got them, you only feel happier for a moment. Only to slip back to where you were before, and probably even less content in future.
Instead, focus on strengthening the aspects of your life that do lead to long term happiness. Such as choosing to feel at peace with the life you have. Stop second-guessing past decisions.
Plan your finances so that you feel confident about coping with unexpected events. Start truly living the life of the person you want to be.
Consciously, spend at least a few minutes every day thinking about each of these. Do that even a little, and you’ll be happier. Do it a lot, and your life will be transformed.
