When I decided to visit Fiolina last week, who is domiciled in Kakamega on work assignment, I did not really know the reception I would receive given what happened the last time I visited her unannounced.
If you remember, I did not find the laugh of my life at home as she had travelled to Mombasa with her boss Tony and colleagues for what they called team building. How a team can only be built in Mombasa is something I did not understand.
Anyway, having not seen Fiolina for long, I thought of visiting her for Valentine’s. I called Alex, my colleague at school, and asked him to act as HM in my absence. As you know, since the Teachers Service Commission is yet to send a deputy, I have made sure four teachers — Alex, Mrs Atika, Lena and Sella — believe they are my preferred candidates for the position. Separately, I have told each of them that I have recommended them.
“I heard the sub-county Education Director has her candidate that she wants to bring here as HM,” Mrs Atika told me when we last spoke.
“I have heard that rumour, but I will be appointed HM and you will be deputy,” I said.
Alex was very excited to act. “Keep the school running, ensure it is clean, students are in class on time and teachers go to teach,” I said and reminded him that he needed to watch over Kuya.
Although I arrived in Kakamega at 4am last Sunday, only Salome, the house girl, was around. Around 5pm, a strange vehicle dropped off Electia, Honda and Sospeter.
Sospeter was excited to see me, and he grabbed a Sh50 toy I had bought him. I asked where his mother was, and he said she left with the person who had taken them for swimming at Kakamega Gold Hotel.
I was so busy with Sospeter that I did not notice it was past 8m when we a vehicle dropped off Fiolina at the gate.
She was at first shocked to see me, but she immediately composed herself.
Let me tell you, Fiolina had really changed, she was not the same woman I last saw in November. She was wearing tight rugged jeans and a sleeveless blouse. I loved what I saw.
She rushed to the bedroom to shower before coming back to hug me. After supper, and after Sospeter had slept, we retired to bed, but for obvious reasons we slept late. Very late.
She woke up early the next day and prepared Sospeter for school. When she returned to the bedroom, I was hiding behind the doors. “Happy Valentine’s my love!” I said as I handed her a gift pack that I had bought the previous day: Red plastic flowers, a red petticoat,a black biker with a lace and a pink body lotion.
The gifts had been recommended by my sister Caro, who said that Fiolina would like them. And she did.
“Thank you dear,” she said, and hugged me happily, pulling me back to bed. She left for work two hours later and we agreed to have dinner at The Golf later that evening.
I did a few things at the county education office and at the bank then returned to the house. Fiolina came back at 4pm, changed into a tight, long glittering red dress. I did not disappoint — I wore my latest, stylish green Kaunda suit and a brand new, red Doom T-shirt. I had a red pen in each of the four pockets and completed the look with bright red socks.
Fiolina called Wasili Taxi to pick us, and we were soon at The Golf. Everyone stared at us as we walked in, romantically holding hands.
“Hey madam, nilete kama kawaida ama tufanye aje leo?” The waiter asked Fiolina.
“Niletee Kingfisher mbili, chakula baadaye” she said.
“Jug Daniels double trot,” I said. I had really missed Jug Daniels, my all-time best drink, after The Famous Grease that always greases my joints.
The waiter asked if he should add soda or ice cubicles, but I told him I wanted direct injection or ‘one touch’, as we called it at Hitler’s. I noticed that Fiolina had two phones, and one that could only be unlocked by her fingers kept ringing. Any time she picked the calls, she would rush outside. It must have been about work, which I understand is sensitive.
I can’t remember what we ate for the Jug Daniels kept coming. I hazily remember the taxi taking us home.
The following morning after Fiolina had left for work, I saw a big bunch of flowers hidden under one of the tables and a Valentine’s card from Tony.
I did no feel threatened by this, after all, Tony had sent Fiolina fresh flower that would dry within days while I had given her permanent, plastic flowers that will always remind her of my love.
And given that my wife is beautiful — very beautiful — I know that many men will take her out, but only Yours Truly is allowed to take her in!
