We’re marrying much later these days, even though young men and women enjoy each other’s company as much as they ever did. They just date more casually.
But dating like that doesn’t work for a woman who’s reached her mid-30s and wants to settle down.
She quickly discovers that most of the genuine family minded men are already well and truly wed. There are still quite a few left, but they’re outnumbered by the permanent bachelors. And all those wretched married men who’re just looking for an affair!
That’s not as difficult as it sounds, because it’s actually always the woman who makes the decisions as a relationship starts. Which means that a good man won’t even approach a woman unless she shows an interest in him. Or invite her out before she’s let him know she’ll say yes.
Finding the right guy revolves around actively choosing who you date. And meeting a lot of men. Hundreds in fact, because only around 1 percent of them will be right for you, so your plan should be to talk, briefly, to every guy you meet. Swiftly discard all the ones who are a poor fit with your needs, much like you do when you’re networking. Your objective is to choose the right guy up front and not waste time on the others.
That means prioritising men you meet through the world of work. Because their background, education and interests will be similar to yours. And their job already tells you a whole lot about them. How successful, industrious and ambitious they are, for example.
After that, just go anywhere you enjoy. Evening classes, your friends’ parties, places of worship, voluntary groups and sports clubs. But avoid the bars, because the guys there are probably up to mischief.
Chat to everyone, because successful dating starts with talking to everyone you meet! It only takes a few minutes, and you’re just ‘socialising,’ right, so there’s no embarrassment. And you’ll also make some nice new female friends.
Simply show genuine interest in everyone, but whenever you’re talking to a guy, politely establish his work, background, availability, what he likes doing, and so on. Everyone loves talking about themselves, so the conversation will go well. Have this sort of five-minute conversation with just two new guys a week and you’ll check out a hundred in a year. And that’s the sort of number you need to meet to find someone who’s right for you. Only go further with the few who exactly match your needs and values. And the rest won’t even have realised what you were up to.
Have a few short coffee dates with the survivors and quickly lose interest in anyone who shows the slightest signs of a weird personality trait or any other tricky characteristic.
