I urgently need a tutorial on how to stop keeping time
I want to be able to turn up at an event two hours after the appointed time and feel nothing.
If observing and respecting time automatically made one rich, then I would probably be among the richest people in the world, so rich, in fact, I would be featured by Forbes every year.
Unfortunately, and I’m talking from experience, being on time in this beloved country of ours does not necessarily come with any advantages, leave alone make you rich.
I have mentioned before that I am a stickler for time, and every time I turn up for an event on time, I end up being disappointed because it seems no one else in this country respects time like I do.
As a result, I end up waiting for the event to kick off an hour or more later than it was supposed to. In some cases, I have even arrived earlier than the organisers.
Take last weekend for instance. A group of us had been invited for a former colleague’s farewell party.
She was leaving the company for greener pastures, and the party was to let her know that we would miss her, and that we wished her well in the next chapter of her life.
The function was to start at 5pm, and against my better judgement, I got out of the house at 4pm, to give myself an hour to wrestle with the inevitable traffic I would find myself in.
But things did not go according to plan because the jam I had envisioned was nowhere to be found, and I ended up arriving at the venue at 4.30pm…before the organiser, if I may add.
As you can imagine, by the time the wise people started trickling in from around 7pm, ready to party until whatever time, I was ready to go back home.
Once again, I reprimanded myself for turning up early, but what pained me even more was the fact that I knew I could not change my nature, and no matter how much I tried, I would still turn up right on time on the next function I attended.
That incident last weekend reminded me of another one a couple of years back. A close friend had invited me and other mutual friends to her son’s birthday.
Being a child’s birthday, (her son was turning three) our children were invited too. She told us, (with a straight face) that the bash would start at 1pm sharp.
Of course, my children and I were at her gate at the appointed time. When my friend opened the door, she seemed genuinely surprised to see me, never mind that it was a few minutes past 1pm.
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As it turned out, she had been on the way to the bathroom to take a shower so that she could rush to the city centre to pick up the birthday cake… If you live in Ngummo area, then you have an idea how many kilometers it is to the city centre, mind you, no work had been done on our roads then, therefore traffic was a total nightmare.
And no, she hadn’t put up the decorations yet, and the food wasn’t yet ready. By the time the birthday party started towards 5pm, my children were already begging me to take them home because the fun, soda and cake I had promised them were nowhere to be seen. Behold the perils of turning up on time!
Anyway, I am urgently searching for a tutorial that will teach me how to become tardy and disrespectful of time like you, my fellow Kenyan. All that keeping time has rewarded me with is pain and grief and regret. I want to be able to turn up at an event two hours after the appointed time and feel nothing. Any recommendations?
